Send In The Clowns… (or, Converting the Oddballs)


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keep in mind, i don't really want to do anything that is simply a parody and has nothing (even something minimal and silly) to offer someone's campaign besides a laugh. ;)
 

BOZ said:
keep in mind, i don't really want to do anything that is simply a parody and has nothing (even something minimal and silly) to offer someone's campaign besides a laugh. ;)

Aww, come on...a lurking dorito and pepsioid offer sustenance and refreshment, respectively. :p
 


Looking through the Dragon archive, it appears that those from Dragon #156 have the most non-humorous value. These include the blink wooly mammoth, death sheep, gello monster, killer spruce, man-drake, paper dragon, pidgeontoad, pink dragon, tickler, tin golem, unicow, and werelagamorph (were-hare).

The death sheep is actually kinda cool and dangerous. :lol:
 


Sweet. It should go fast...start with the wooly mammoth stats from Frostburn, sprinkle in some blink dog abilities, and top it with some cinnamon.
 

Blink Wooly Mammoth
Created by: Sharon Jenkins

CLIMATE/TERRAIN: Subarctic plains
FREQUENCY: Very rare
ORGANIZATION: Herd
ACTIVITY CYCLE: Day
DIET: Herbivore
INTELLIGENCE: Semi-
TREASURE: Tusks (good luck!)
ALIGNMENT: Neutral
NO. APPEARING: 1-12
ARMOR CLASS: 5
MOVEMENT: 12
HIT DICE: 15
THAC0: 5
NO. OF ATTACKS: 5 (2 tusks, 1 trunk constriction, 2 forefeet)
DAMAGE/ATTACK: 2-16/2-16/2-12/2-12-12
SPECIAL ATTACKS: Blinking
SPECIAL DEFENSES: Nil
MAGIC RESISTANCE: Standard
SIZE: L (14' tall at shoulder)
MORALE: Elite (14)
XP VALUE: 12,000

These otherwise normal mammoths blink in and out at random when attacked, using a limited form of teleportation as do blink dogs (see Monstrous Compendium, "Dogs"). They will blink on a roll of 5 or better on 1d12, with a range of up to 60', and will reappear as per a 1d12 roll: 1 = in front of opponent; 2 = shield (or left) front flank; 3 = unshielded (or right) front flank; 4-8 = behind opponent; 9-12 = on top of opponent. If a blink mammoth appears directly above its opponent, the victim is crushed for 6-36 hp damage. All of his equipment must save vs. crushing blow, and the victim must save vs. wands to avoid being knocked unconscious for 2-12 rounds. Only one blink mammoth will "drop in on" a victim at a time. Additionally, any victim so struck must make a dexterity check on 4d6 to avoid being knocked down, thus giving the blink mammoths a +2 to-hit bonus if the victim fails to get initiative to stand up.
The heavy tusks of these mammoths have 150% of the weight and value of elephants' tusks, being worth 1d6 × 150 gp each, or about 6 gp per pound. Getting the tusks, of course, is a problem.


some preliminary stats for the blink wooly mammoth:

Blink Wooly Mammoth
Huge? Magical Beast
Hit Dice: 15d10 (X hp)
Initiative: +X
Speed: 30 ft (6 squares)
Armor Class: 15 (-X size, +X Dex, +X natural), touch X, flat-footed X
Base Attack/Grapple: +15/+X
Attack:
Full Attack: 2 gores +X melee (2d8+X), trunk +X melee (2d6+X), 2 stamps +X melee (2d6+X)
Space/Reach: X ft/X ft
Special Attacks: Blink, constrict X, crush, improved grab
Special Qualities: Darkvision 60 ft, low-light vision
Saves: Fort +X Ref +X Will +X
Abilities: Str X, Dex X, Con X, Int 3, Wis X, Cha X
Skills: 18
Feats: 6

Environment: Cold plains
Organization: Solitary or herd (2-16)
Challenge Rating: X
Treasure: None (tusks)
Alignment: Always neutral
Advancement: 16-30 HD (Huge?); 31-45 HD (Gargantuan)
Level Adjustment: ---


COMBAT

Constrict (Ex): A blink wooly mammoth deals X points of damage with a successful grapple check.

Improved Grab (Ex): To use this ability, a blink wooly mammoth must hit with its trunk attack. It can then attempt to start a grapple as a free action without provoking an attack of opportunity. If it wins the grapple check, it establishes a hold and can constrict.


Dragon Magazine #156 ("Not Necessarily the Monstrous Compendium," April 1990, Sharon Jenkins).
 



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