Sexuality in your games.

[Malanath]

Alright, before I begin I am going to ask that this be kept mature and civil. I'm not interested in opinions on the subject, I am interested in your personal experiences or how you would react or feel.

I am currently in the process of building a homebrew world, and one of the things I am striving for is a strong suspension of disbelief. I want to make my world seem as realistic as possible. I look to various good world builders as examples, such as Tolkien or Jordan. Jordan has gone through great lengths to make his world seem vibrant and believable, and after reading New Spring and the Knife of Dreams I have been faced with a rather niggling problem: To include or not to include gay and bi characters in my world.

Now, my world is roughly 75-80% Human so it would seem rather odd to not include gay or bisexual NPC's. I've given thought to incorporating it as Jordan has, by making any such relationship seem everyday and not out of the ordinary. (A good example of this would be the White Tower's "Pillow Friends".)

Certain organizations and groups would certainly lend themselves toward having a higher rate of gay / bisexual members. I don't have a problem with incorporating it as I feel it would add a sense of depth and realism to the world. Yet, my main concern is players.

I am not concerned about how they feel about the issue personally. I am concerned about it being a distraction. I am not one who is interested in having PC's fall in love and have various romances, yet if one did choose to play a bi-sexual or gay character... would it be a distraction to others?

I am interested in hearing about the experiences of others in the community. Have you DMed or played in any games in which there were gay / bi-sexual NPC's or PC's? If so, did it distract the group or cause unnecessary problems?

I believe including such characters would be interesting, and would love to give it a shot. I only play with mature gamers so I don't foresee any teenage or childlike response to the issue.

I should also clarify what I mean by distraction. In the world such relationships would be viewed as common everyday things. People really wouldn't bat an eyelash at them. Yet, my concern is having players focus in on such NPC characters, simply based on their sexual orientation. Something like that, depending on the severity, might be considered by me as an out of character action. My goal wouldn't be to distract players, but rather more strongly immerse them in a fictional world.

 

[Insight]

I am going to preface this reply by stating that I am very open minded with my friends and in my personal life, and I don't care what people choose to do with each other behind closed doors.

In my experiences playing D&D and other games, you have to be very careful with anything sexual in your campaign. Most people (yes, I am generalizing) prefer to keep sexual concepts out of their RPG experience because it creeps them out. This is especially true of an all-male gaming group.

I would prefer that everyone were as open minded as I am, but that is simply not the case. You will run across people in the gaming world (just like in life) who are intolerant, and who will likely be offended by the introduction of sexual themes in the game.

But, it's your game, and you know your players far more than anyone else on this board. Tread as carefully as you must to avoid offending any of your players' sensibilities with this. Other than that, I applaud your attempt to plow potentially fertile and normally untapped ground.

 

[Crothian]

The inclusion of gay and bi people in my world would depend on the players. I know that not everyone is comfortiable with homosexuality and my games are not designed to make people feel uncomfortiable. It could be a distraction, it could be the basis for jokes and humor, it could lead to insulted feelings. It is a very hot and touchy subject for some people and as a DM I think one needs to be aware and take their players thoughts on it into consideration.

 

[Michael Silverbane]

While I can't say that I've had anyone play a gay or bisexual character in any game I've run... I would tend to think that, unless you are bringing up a romantic relationship (which you've said you're not likely to do, anyway), I can't see how it would make any difference to the players (or their characters) that an NPC that they are dealing with is gay or bisexual... Unless you specifically bring up their sexuality. So... Without any actual experience with it in my own games (though I suppose that I now do recall at least one NPC gay couple in a game that someone else ran, but I can't now recall how it came up that they were gay) I'm thinking that if you don't make a big deal of it, neither will your players.

Later
silver

 

[Silver Moon]

My group have been gaming together for 24+ years now and have known one another for that long. We're close friends and all know where the real-life boundaries are. So that allows us to throw sexual elements into the game with a clear recognition that it is only in- game. As such, many players have characters who are married or seriously involved with other characters. We've also had gay characters as well, it's fine, the key is to not be offensive given people's real-life opinions on that subject.

 

[Calico_Jack73]

Honestly I'd highly suggest you treat it as you say Jordan has and make it a common, everyday thing and don't draw too much attention to it.

I've only ever actually seen it work a long time ago in a Vampire: The Masquerade group I was in. All of the players were mature and we were all friends outside of our role-playing sessions. A one of the players were gay. Out of respect for him we didn't have the usual kidding around that typically goes with the subject and were able to conduct our game in a serious manner. This is the only time I've seen it work.

A lot of people aren't comfortable with the subject which is why I suggest you downplay the issue. Personally I wonder why you think sexuality lends any more "Real-ness" to a world? I'm not saying you are wrong but I can't see how Tolkien would be any more or less real with the addition or subtraction of hetero or homosexual PC/NPC interaction.

 

[Silver Moon]

A one of the players were gay. Out of respect for him we didn't have the usual kidding around that typically goes with the subject and were able to conduct our game in a serious manner. This is the only time I've seen it work.

Actually one of our players is gay too. He doesn't mind the kidding on the subject, in fact, he kids as much if not more than the rest, so it isn't a taboo subject at all with us. The main thing is the comfort between the players. If you don't really know the players outside of the game then it might be risky to go there. But it's great if you can add sexual elements to the game as it does make it more realistic.

 

[Malanath]

Thanks for the responses so far! Most of them have echoed some of the concerns I have.
Although, I should make it clear I am not interested in making it central to anything in the game world. I am thinking of things in terms of a general view of a game world society, and not specific relationships that would pop-up throughout the course of the game. I would play such characters as I would any other character.

It's such a touchy issue, and one that I find somewhat interesting. I feel it might be slightly relevant as there are some all male and all female orders throughout the game world, such as the White Tower in the Wheel of Time. This is what has brought the issue to the forefront of my mind. Obviously, either such people are taking vows of chastity or they have some type of intimate relationships with other people.

I'm not interested in bringing sex into the game. (In fact I probably wouldn't allow it.) I am thinking in terms of personal relationships.

For example, to step into a possible scenario: Let's say a player wishes to obtain a secret about a certain NPC. Now, this player eventually learns of some possibilities. One of them happens to be the NPC's "pillow friend" (or whatever other term I decide to use), which they would understand would be a same-sex lover of the NPC's.

The extent that it would effect the player really wouldn't reach further than the above, unless of course a player decided they wanted to play a gay/bi-sexual character.

 

[BOZ]

the inclusion of sexuality, in all of its many and varied forms, is done mostly for comic releif in the games i play. and then we giggle like 12-year olds.

it's great fun.

 

[the Jester]

I have both played in and run games with bi and gay npcs and pcs, and (for that matter) gay players. In fact, at present I have one gay player and one gay character as fixtures in my campaign; there have been many others, both serious and humorous.

Like others, I find that the gay guy in our group is the first to laugh at funny gay jokes. But he's one of the most incredibly funny people I know.