Share the Tale of the Worst Date Ever

[Turanil]

I just remembered my worst date ever!!

It was a brunette (I only love brunettes) who looked good physically. When on the first date, she turned out to have vulgar tastes; she told me what she liked in life, and in hearing her I was in consternation and couldn't believe it. But the worst is that for some reason she did fart during all the date!!!

Needless to say I wouldn't want to see her again, ever!

 

[AuroraGyps]

my worst date, that topped off a crappy day

It was either the summer after my sophmore or junior years in HS (I dated the same guy for 18 monthes, so which summer it was ???). The day started with my mother waking me up at 5AM (on a summer day... nothing to do, no where to go) with the phrase,"Wake up, I accidently slit my wrist!" Ok, I was awake fast. Turned out mom just HAD to get the last of the mustard out of it's squeezy container and proceeded to use a razor blade to cut open the thing. NOTE: NEVER cut towards yourself when using a razor blade!. Luckily, it was a brand new one. So, quickly shifting into nurse mode, I check out the injury (which was just where a person would cut if they were really trying to commit suicide) wrapped it with a clean dish towel, wrapped that with an ace bandage, and then we both, with mom driving, headed to the hospital. She got stitched up (luckily, it was more of a horizontal cut right under the tendon sheath, instead of a vertical cut right into the wrist), drove to the place she works and had one of her bosses drive us both home.
Ok, that's a heck of way to start the day , a day I was already not looking forward to because it was my favorite soap actor's last day on my fav. soap (petty, I know, but I was young). So, when I finally talked to my boyfriend about what a yucky day I was having, he promised me a good surprise. He and his dad (my guy didn't drive yet) picked me up and my guy blindfolded me to make the date a surprise. Before we got to the location, his dad blew the surprise (oops) & mentioned the bowling alley (not that there was/is alot to do locally in my hometown). We met up with my guy's brother, his friend, and two of my friends. Great right? Just a couple of problems: I don't bowl, my girlfriends didn't bowl, and my guy didn't bowl! So while the guys bowled... my guy doing very badly, we girls played video games (& what a great selection of games there were in 1989-1990 ). We kinda salvaged the night with w/ ice cream at Friendly's, but it was still a pretty lame day/date.

 

[Felix]

I show up at Ally's place in my car at around 7. She wants to drive so we take her car. We have a nice dinner and as we're ready to leave, I realize I don't have my wallet... I left it in my car because I don't like sitting on it while I drive.

So I say... "Uh, I don't have my wallet..." and look stupid.

Because I'm the old-fashioned type, I like to pay for things on dates. So she hadn't brought her wallet with her either. D'OH. So she drove 15 minutes to her place, got our wallets, and we paid our tab, with the waiter giving me an understanding grin.

So I tell her I'm taking her to this great movie that's just come out. We get there... and it's sold out.

Bugger.

So I say, "It's a pleasant summers evening, why don't we get ice cream and go for a walk?" We do, and it's very sweet. The walk, that is; of course the ice cream's sweet.

We find ourselves outside of a park I played in when I was a tyke, so I helped her over the chest-high chain-link fence, hopped over myself, and we talked for a long while on the swingset.

Time to go, and we walked back over to the fence. She's the independent type, so she wanted to hop over herself, without my help, so I vaulted over. She's also the independent type that wears sun dresses on beautiful summer evenings, and when she hopped over, the hem of her dress caught on the top of the fence. So the rest of her followed gravity down while her dress stayed up.

That's when the other couple turned the coner and started walking toward us.

Being chivalrous as well as old-fashioned, I was trying to not look, not touch, get her hem off the fence, and block the stranger's view. After a lot of hard work, I did accomplish the third.

For as red as her face was, embarassed I recon, she took it very well, and we're still friends. But for some reason we never actually ever did manage to go on another date.

That's my "Worst Date Ever" story

 

[Samothdm]

Short & Sweet:

I drive about 30 miles in Los Angeles rush-hour traffic after work to pick up my date. I knock on the door, she lets me in but is acting a little strange. We get back in my car and start driving to the restaurant when she tells me that she doesn't really want to be going out with me. After composing myself for a few seconds so that I don't fly off the handle, I drive her back to her place and drop her off. We never spoke again.

I honestly have no idea what that was all about, but after driving all that way in traffic (it took about 1.5 hours) I wasn't really happy.

 

[Darth Shoju]

OK so this is a story of a not-too-bad date and some big weirdness to follow. It was about a month after I had broken up with a girl I was in love with (who I later got back together with and is now my wife). I was messed up and rebounding hard. I was working a rare Saturday shift and was rather bored (I work in a call centre and Saturdays are super slow). I had one of those IM programs that allows you to have all your IM contacts from various applications (MSN, yahoo, ICQ, etc) open in one display. Early on in the day I got an IM from a girl whose screen name I didn't recognize. She started talking like I had contacted her first so I guessed we had spoken at least once (if briefly) on IM in the past. We spent the day chatting and sort of getting to know each other. She seemed fairly normal if somewhat lacking in attention span. We agreed to meet up that night at a restaurant and, if things went well, to attend my friend's party (which was a few houses down from my place and near the restaurant).

So later that night we met up for dinner. She was quite attractive and seemed rather nice. During the course of our dinner I found I was having some trouble following her stories about herself. The one that stands out in my mind was regarding her car. She claimed to have a blue camaro (complete with nitrous). When I asked why she didn't drive it to meet me, she said that it was in the shop after beeing broken into. She proceeded to tell me the story of the break-in, but by the end it wasn't actually broken into, but rather a steel pole from a passing truck had smashed through the windshield. Like I said, I was confused but wrote it up to a misunderstanding on my part, possibly due to her strong accent (she was Carribean). But like I said, she was attractive and things didn't seem all that strange just yet, so we headed to my friend's party.

Things went well at the party, although for some reason she decided to remove her fake nails there and leave them on my friend's coffee table (?). We headed back to my place and fooled around quite a bit (like I said, I was rebounding). Whilst the fooling around was happening, she told me she worked at a local bar, and her boss had sexually harassed her. She didn't seem terribly upset by it but obviously I was concerned. She said she was looking into charges so I offered my sympathy and we didn't speak of it further. So I walked her to her car and she said she'd call me tomorrow...and then said she loved me. Needless to say I was a little alarmed and said something like "Uhh, thanks." She didn't seemed phased and said she'd call me the next day.

And so, over the next couple weeks I speak to her on the phone 4-5 times. Over the course of those conversations, she tells me increasingly bizarre stories. They start off innocently enough, like how she was attending the technical college that's right beside my workplace, then how she applied to work where I work (at this point I'm getting concerned). Then she says things like she got her camaro out of the shop but it was having transmission problems on the way to school so she had to pull over and fix them herself (on the side of the road...). She also told me that she was trying to take her boss to court for harassing her, but the bar was owned by a company in California so it was getting difficult, so she hacked into the FBI database (!) and found out her boss was wanted for murder and drug trafficking (!!). About this time I decided she was more or less a loon and decided not to call her anymore. In our last phone conversation she said her ex-boyfriend had found her and come into her house and punched her in the face, so she had to go back into the witness relocation program and move to Vancouver, but she'd give me her phone # (didn't know you could tell people where you were going and give them your number in that program). She said she figured she'd resume her career as a fashion model when she hit the west coast (seems kind of high-profile for the witness relocation program). I had now decided that she was a pathological liar (I briefly entertained the notion she was kidding about all this, but she was just too serious in her delivery and showed no signs of humour about her stories). I think she was getting the idea I didn't want to have anything to do with her and said she'd phone me, but luckily she never did. I eventually broke it off completely in an email (as nicely as I could...she knew where I lived). Thankfully she didn't turn out to be a stalker (unless she is a really really subtle one) and seems to have let the whole thing drop. But I definately learned a lesson about meeting people on the internet (although that is where I met my wife )

 

[Rel]

Fellas, always remember Rule #1: Don't boff freaky chicks!

Unless they don't know your real name or where you live. Then it's ok, but don't make it a habit.

 

[Piratecat]

Rel, that's absolutely sexist and unfair. The correct rule is:

"Never go to bed with anyone who has more problems than you do."

These are words to live by. Just don't tell your date.

 

[Angcuru]

Rel, that's absolutely sexist and unfair. The correct rule is:

"Never go to bed with anyone who has more problems than you do."

These are words to live by. Just don't tell your date.

Wait a sec. If that's the case, then nobody would ever get any action, ever. If everyone lived by those words, that is. Wait a minute. Brain hurt.

 

[Abstraction]

Rel, that's absolutely sexist and unfair. The correct rule is:

"Never go to bed with anyone who has more problems than you do."

These are words to live by. Just don't tell your date.

I like that rule. I can sleep with anyone! Just don't tell my wife.

 

[Desdichado]

I never claimed to know her. I said I heard this story, it's really funny. My mom sent it to me in an email, and it talked about how this person was on the "Tonight Show." Then Queen_Dopp and I were watching Dumb & Dumber yesterday, and the skilift scene reminded me of it.

I don't know if it's true or not, but I would like to say that it was on the "Tonight Show" (I checked) and I can tell you from personal experience that it definitely is possible to stick your skin onto cold chrome plated metal.

I saw that episode of the Tonight Show when it was new. A few minor details were wrong from how she relayed it; they weren't skiing, they went to an infamous "lookout point" up the mountain.

It's entirely possible that it didn't really happen to her, and to someone else (or even no one) but I did hear the girl claim that it really happened to her.