Worst date?
Okay, back in college I started seeing this girl who I knew from high school. Our first date was a movie and the second date was a picnic at a lake. For our third date I took her to an amusement park. This park had a walk through zoo which had a park-like atmosphere so I thought it would be a good place for a stroll.
We stop by the monkey cage, which is made of iron and also covered over with plexiglass, the outside wall being just a foot beyond it. So I'm leaning against the gate and talking to the girlfriend when one of the spider monkeys manges to get its arm though a half-inch crack in the plexiglass, reaches out, and pulls my glasses off of my face.
It manages to pull the glasses back inside the cage and begins bending the frames while the girl runs to find a zookeeper. Just as the keeper starts to get the cage open the monkey climbs up to a ladder swing near the top of he cage and with full force throws the glasses down onto the concrete floor. One lens totally shatters and the other cracks right down the middle.
So we head out to the car to head home, where my spare pair of glasses are. I tell her that she will have to drive. That's when she informs me that she does not know how. All she has is a learner's permit and has never been behind the wheel before. So we jury-rig up my glasses, attempting to rebend the frames, fixing me an eyepatch over the missing lens and I then attempt to drive home looking through one eye with the cracked lens. I take all back roads and drive slowly.
So I consider that date to have been a total disaster. Fortunately despite that poor beginning she didn't give up on me - Kriskrafts and I will be celebrating our 16th wedding anniversary this May. She also still kids me about the monkey.
