Simplifying my life...can any of you relate?

[Atom Again]

I'm 36, married with a two-year-old daughter, and full-time teacher and part-time writer. In short, I'm a busy guy. Long gone are the days when I would sleep in until noon, work on my master's thesis for a few hours, then play video games for a few more hours.

My problem is that I've begun to see a disturbing tendency in myself, a tendency to what I would call "Gaming ADD". I have too much stuff. I bounce around between GURPS and D20 Modern and Call of Cthulhu and Dark*Matter and D&D. I can't focus. There's too much going on in my head and no time to process it all.

Just when I get started planning one campaign (a D20 Modern/Future-based RIFTS excursion to the Arctic) I find myself thinking about doing something else (a GURPS-based Resident Evil); that new idea is quickly eclipsed by yet another (D&D 3.0 Planescape, with an excursion to Ravenloft).

When I was in my 20's, perhaps I could do all this. In fact, I did. But I can't anymore.

I'm thinking about a radical solution, and I'm not sure if it will work, so I'm hoping to get some input from you good folks. I've decided that I need to decide what is really important in my life. What really matters. Gaming is one of those things, but it isn't the top thing, not anymore (if indeed it ever was--in university it always seemed to play second fiddle to video games ).

As a way of keeping myself sane and trying to focus my attention, I'm thinking of selling off all my gaming stuff except for ONE game--D&D. With Greyhawk, Planescape, and Ravenloft, D&D should keep me happy for all my gaming needs. And if I get the urge for post-apocalypse or zombie horror or modern conspiracy, I will just shrug and say, "Can't do everything, bub." Then I'll rent a zombie flick or watch the X-Files to get my fix.

Is this feasible, just focusing on one game to try to preserve sanity and simplify a busy life? Can anyone relate to what I'm saying?

Help!

 

[Thornir Alekeg]

I can relate, but I can also tell you that cutting down to one game system may not help much with the gaming ADD. I only play D&D now (35, married two kids, full time job). We have a gaming group that now meets very infrequently since two members moved away, and I am starting a new one tomorrow - I still have trouble focusing on preparing for the new group, I find myself coming up with great ideas for the old group instead, or thinking about things that will not come up for a long time in the new group.

 

[diaglo]

Is this feasible, just focusing on one game to try to preserve sanity and simplify a busy life? Can anyone relate to what I'm saying?

i can totally relate.

and like you are trying to do... i focus on one game now too.

OD&D(1974)

but overall gaming is just not that important when compared to other things in life.

like marriage, kids, a job you enjoy, world peace, etc...

 

[Belen]

I can somewhat relate. There are always new campaigns that I want to play. Personally, I would sell it all other than DnD and d20 modern.

 

[McBard]

I know what you mean in terms of focusing. I'm a life-long DM, and so too have accumulated quite a library of rpg books. Although I've pretty much settled on running only 3.5 D&D I will never sell off my collection--mainly because I've time and time again referenced some obscure gaming product that's been sitting on my shelf for years (never used) to help me in my current campaign.

My advice: sure, focus; but don't sell off the library.

And not to get into a GURPS/RIFT/D&D/Vampire debate, but I simply have the most fun playing D&D. It's as well-supported as any line in the hobby, and for me very nearly defines the entire industry.

Oh, and then there's the collection of 400+ miniatures I've also accumulated over the years that would go to waste if I weren't playing a D&D-type fantasy game!

 

[DM_Jeff]

Everything But

>>Is this feasible, just focusing on one game to try to preserve sanity and simplify a busy life? Can anyone relate to what I'm saying?

100%. I went through this back in 1997. It was the "too many games to play, not enough time/too much space", etc. I must have had 10 different systems, with adventures, supplements and add-ons....and each week I only played D&D.

So I went to a few local game stores (back in the day when there were more than one in a county and they all survived) and over 6-8 months traded off my non D&D stuff to fill out my collection of old TSR collectable books and modules I had missed.

It was great. I felt like a "specialist wizard" at D&D and my game became more detailed and my attention focused. it worked very well, and I'd say as long as you have no emotional attachment to those other books, EBay 'em!

-DM Jeff

 

[Umbran]

Is this feasible, just focusing on one game to try to preserve sanity and simplify a busy life? Can anyone relate to what I'm saying?

I can relate. I'm getting married in a month, on top of the usual life-business. So time is at a premium.

However, selling off your gaming materials won't solve your problem. Your problem is going on inside your head, and doesn't require books. Even if you do manage to limit your focus to one game, you'll probably find yourself flitting between ideas that all fit into that one game.

The best solution I've ever found for this is simple - don't stop gaming, and don't toss away your old games. Instead, for a while shift your focus away from long-term campaigns. Work instead on short subjects, anywhere from one to six sessions in length. This allows you to play with a great many ideas, though you won't explore any one of them to any great depth. And keeping yourself restricted to a shorter timespan can do good things for your writing and plotting prowess.

Later, after you've done this for a bit, you can sit back and reexamine your priorities, and see if a long campaign in a single game is to your advantage.

 

[Piratecat]

I agree with Umbran. In addition, I'd recommend taking all your extra gaming material and putting it in a box in the attic for six months. This does the same sort of thing as selling it, but saves you the frustration of realizing that you'll want it three years from now.

 

[Keeper of Secrets]

I'll offer a different suggestion.

Why not keep all the stuff? Two reasons: 1) You might find that some of the other material does an excellent job of providing insight and inspiration in whatever game you run, especially if you are the GM and need a variety of different subjects to draw from. 2) Try this - assuming that you play once or twice a week, (you never told us how much you actually played) you could feed your gaming need by starting a group that rotates games.

For instance, I found that there were a lot of games out there I wanted to run, play and try. But with a very long standing supers game I ran Friday nights the group was hesitant to try anything new as they were having a good time on Fridays (OK, understandable). So some of us got together and found that Wednesday nights was a good idea to use that to try games that we might not normally get to play (or board games or card games or Paranoia or anything like that). It has been a remarkable success as I have actually gotten to play games (as someone ele GMs sometimes) as opposed to run them. We have gotten to try XCrawl, Spycraft, Unknown Armies, Iron Kingdoms, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, etc.

If the second option is something you think you could try, I would reccomend it.

 

[Desdichado]

I agree with Umbran, your stuff's not the problem. I have the same problem, but I've found that actually running something consistently has forced me to actually use it and keep at it. The problem was a lot worse for me when I was more of an armchair GM rather than an actual GM.

Then again, some focused one-shots and occasional Gameday forays into different systems and settings has also helped me get my fix of "other stuff".