isirga eth
First Post
The inspiration came to me thanks to the necromancer-in-the-bar thread. The following jokes were told by my NPC Turpin the gnome to a very ill-tempered - and, as I discovered, VERY patient - dwarven paladin.
- Look Bain! I got a beautiful gemstone for my wife!
- Where did you get such a good trade?
- Did you hear about Dain? he drowned in a beer barrel...
- Poor guy, he stood no chance.
- No chance? he got out to piss twice!
(Two trolls chatting around a campfire)
- Hey Grok, they say dwarves are pretty tough...
- Fairy tales, Durk. Last night Bork, T'ork, M'ghork, Shlork, the three Wgork brothers, Lork, Smork an' me trounced up ONE of 'em!
Q. How do you say "useless organ" in dwarven?
A. (Use tolkien pronunciation) Brain.
Q. What's the difference between a dwarf female and a stone?
A. There ARE precious stones.
There was a dwarf who sold torches at the dungeon entrance. A paladin who regularly used the dungeon to level up used to give the dwarf a copper for a torch, but he never took one. One day, when the paladin was almost 20th level, the dwarf asked:
- Sir, ya always give me a copper for me torch but don't take no torch. Why's that?
- When I was 1st-level, it was by mistake. When I advanced in levels it was ordained by my god. Now, I consider it a token of good luck. Why?
- Because, startin' from tomorrow, torches are TWO coppers a piece!
- Look Bain! I got a beautiful gemstone for my wife!
- Where did you get such a good trade?
- Did you hear about Dain? he drowned in a beer barrel...
- Poor guy, he stood no chance.
- No chance? he got out to piss twice!
(Two trolls chatting around a campfire)
- Hey Grok, they say dwarves are pretty tough...
- Fairy tales, Durk. Last night Bork, T'ork, M'ghork, Shlork, the three Wgork brothers, Lork, Smork an' me trounced up ONE of 'em!
Q. How do you say "useless organ" in dwarven?
A. (Use tolkien pronunciation) Brain.
Q. What's the difference between a dwarf female and a stone?
A. There ARE precious stones.
There was a dwarf who sold torches at the dungeon entrance. A paladin who regularly used the dungeon to level up used to give the dwarf a copper for a torch, but he never took one. One day, when the paladin was almost 20th level, the dwarf asked:
- Sir, ya always give me a copper for me torch but don't take no torch. Why's that?
- When I was 1st-level, it was by mistake. When I advanced in levels it was ordained by my god. Now, I consider it a token of good luck. Why?
- Because, startin' from tomorrow, torches are TWO coppers a piece!
