Ankh-Morpork Guard
First Post
Chapter 331
Naboo was, generally, the same planet it had been since long before the Empire was even an idea. Its location, far from the Core Worlds, likely had a lot to do with the fact that it was not at all ravaged by the wars that had raged over the past decades. Even after the Empire fell, the planet was left alone...it had only been the vacation spot for most Imperial Officers, with a single garrison in the capital city of Theed to ‘protect’ the entirety of the planet. This, of course, meant that the general populace felt little influence from the Empire at all. The cities were still as beautiful and extravagant as ever, and the fields were farmed just as always.
Jyren set down the X-Wing in a spot where it didn’t look like he’d harm any crops, but also was in walking distance of the single building out in the middle of no where on the planet. It was the same, boxy structure as all the buildings on the planet, with green domed roofs over each of the sections. Even the older looking garage had the same design as everything else.
Tearing his eyes away from the view, Jyren hit the switch to raise the canopy and said over his shoulder, “So, Toby, why again were you hiding back there?”
A giggle sounded from the rear seat before a series of scratching noises and in a moment, the little Alraxian was perched on the edge of Jyren’s seat and looking him straight in the eye from only a few centimeters away, “Mama said you’d play!”
Jyren rolled his eyes, doing his best to ignore the word that Tobias had used instead of ‘Shadow’. Typical. He’d gotten the ship into hyperspace and then, out of no where, there was a ‘grrr!’ behind him. He’d assumed that Toby had snuck in on his own, but it suddenly made a great deal of sense that Shadow had been the start of it. She’d been...relatively quiet about where she and Loki were going, though it didn’t surprise Jyren for some reason. He’d been quiet, too.
It was...strange, really. There had been very, very little talk about what had happened. Not that neither of them wanted to, but more than there was nothing to actually discuss. It was over, and that was all that mattered. The very thought, though, surprised Jyren, and he knew it had a lot to do with the link. Normally, he’d have dwelled on something like that for years but...but the link seemed to make things different. He couldn’t bury anything inside without Shadow digging it right up, and a good amount of it probably had to do with some of her own personality seeping through to him.
“Alright, Toby, c’mon,” Jyren picked up the child after setting up the ladder and then climbed down to the grassy ground below. He was currently human, as it was just so much easier to fly an X-Wing like that and...and he needed to be currently. Once he was down, Jyren let Toby drop to the ground and watched he child’s eyes roam around almost like a predator, “I’ve got something to do first, little guy, so you stay out here and play.”
Tobias made an ‘uh-huh’ noise before pouncing what was probably a bug and ‘grrr’ing a lot. Jyren grinned and poked Toby in the back with his boot, “Don’t hurt anything, little guy, and stay close to the house.”
There was a noise from the little Alraxian before he scampered off into the part of the field with taller grass that made it easier to hide in. Jyren watched for a minute before taking off his gloves and tossing them up into the cockpit, then finally closing the thing. After climbing back down to the ground and straightening his old brown jacket out of nervousness, Jyren let out a long sigh and headed for the house.
When he reached the entrance, Jyren pressed the small call button next to the door. It beeped, and then he waited. Jyren only had to wait for a half minute before the door slid open to reveal an older man with greying brown hair and a simple shirt and trousers on. He was clean shaven and well tanned, obviously the type to be outside a great deal, and upon seeing Jyren, his expression seemed to change from somewhat annoyed to suddenly curious, “Can I help you...?”
So this was it.
Years of putting it off and ignoring it...and here he was. There was no turning back now.
After another deep breath, Jyren managed to find his voice, “Yes, sir, my name is ah...um...” he trailed off a long moment, suddenly blanking before his mind kicking the mouth into using the right one, “My name is Raan Maxwell.”
A wave of emotion washed over the man, and the expression on his face grew neutral. He stood there looking at Jyren for a long minute before finally saying, “I knew I recognized you...” there was another pause, and Jyren started to get more and more nervous. But then, the man reached up and patted his shoulder, motioning inside, “C’mon in, Raan, its good to finally meet you.”
Jyren followed where the man led him, eventually reaching a small room that looked to be the main living area. There were some chairs, a viewscreen, and other random things strewn about. Jyren had a seat in the chair offered to him, and the man sat across from him. When he sat, Jyren said, “I’m uh...sorry I didn’t do this sooner.”
“Its been nearly five years,” the older man responded with a nod, “We were...surprised that you didn’t show up at the ceremony.”
“Yes...well...” Jyren trailed off into a mumble and finally shrugged, “Listen, Mr. Mare, I’m...sorry.”
“Terek.”
“Huh?”
“That’s my name,” Terek Mare said with the first hint of a smile on his features. He then waved a hand at Jyren, “And you don’t have a damned thing to be sorry about. I know you wrote that long thing trying to explain how it was all your fault, but do you really think I didn’t make sure to get a hold of the official records, too?”
“No! No that’s not what I meant,” Jyren shook his head, trying to make sense of everything as it all became a thousand times more clouded, “I should have been here for the ceremony. I just...I just couldn’t do it then.”
Terek nodded, an understanding look on his face, then leaned forward some, “We actually tried to get in contact with you afterwards...but the New Republic said you left Starfighter Command and wouldn’t say anything else.”
“Yeah...” the young man just nodded, sighing and then forcing himself to look Terek in the eye, “It wasn’t exactly the best time for me. I...I did a lot of stupid things,” as he trailed off, it became obvious that the older man was going to try to say something, but Jyren waved a hand and quickly cut in, “Listen, I’m not here to tell you how bad things were. You had it worse, I know. She was your daughter.”
Again, Terek nodded, but he didn’t seem to be completely agreeing with Jyren, “None of us had it worse than anyone else. Liz was my daughter, yes, but...well, she talked a lot about you. In fact, it was all we ever heard about. It was hard on all of us, and it still is...but believe me, putting one of us below the other isn’t going to do a thing. Don’t worry about that now, Raan, just tell me what you need.”
“I don’t need anything,” Jyren shook his head, still finding it strange to respond to that name. He then quickly reached into his jacket and pulled out a handful of things and handed them to Terek, “I uh...kind of ended up with her things. I think you should have these.”
Taking the things from Jyren, the older man took a long time to look at all of them. The holoimage of her and Jyren...the random objects that everyone always seemed to have...and the datapad that was her journal. After a few quiet minutes, all of the objects were handed back to Jyren, “Keep them.”
“Wha...?”
“I’ve already got the image,” Terek said with a smile, pointing over to a table where an exact copy of it sat, “And the rest I think are better for you to keep.”
As Jyren took them back, suddenly lost as to what to do, the man spoke up again, “Its only been a few years, Raan...but if I didn’t know better, I’d say you were a decade older.”
“That bad, huh?” Jyren asked, almost grinning at that and finding a small mirror across the room to look at his face in. Yeah, he wasn’t that kid anymore. There were scars and scratches and...and the eyes didn’t look so happy. Or maybe just not as bright. Even his hair was scruffier. It didn’t help that the jacket had taken a worse beating than anything else over the years.
“Tell me,” the voice cut into Jyren’s thoughts and jolted him back into he moment, “Where have you been these last few years? From the way Liz talked, you aren’t the kind to just up and disappear like you did.”
“It’s a uh...long story.”
That actually got a smile out of the old man, “That was the first thing you wrote in the message to us after Liz died. It wasn’t exactly very long, either.”
Somehow, that got a smile from Jyren, too. He then added a shrug to it, “I’m just good at adding a little extra drama to things.”
“Alright, fine, you don’t have to tell me everything,” Terek shrugged and then glanced out one of the nearby windows that looked out across the field, “But I can probably make a few guesses. That little boy you’ve got with you definitely answers some things.”
“Woah, woah, woah!” Jyren shook his hands and his head, “Its not what you think. I mean...look at him!” he then looked around to look out the window, catching a glimpse of the black furred, blue-striped Tobias pouncing up and around a tree, “He’s not even human!”
Two very critical eyes turned to look back at Jyren, and Terek’s smile simply held its place, “I didn’t say it answers everything...but trust me on this, Raan, you look just like I did when Liz was young.”
The idea was left to hang in the air for a few minutes as the two of them watched Tobias through the window. After a while, though, Terek spoke up again, “You didn’t wait all these years to come out here and hand me a bunch of Liz’s things. Looks like you’ve got time to me, so why don’t you at least indulge me and tell me where you’ve been all these years?”
Jyren turned to look at the older man, but didn’t take very long to give in. He told Terek everything. Everything after Liz had died. From the darkest moments that hurt to even think about to that night on the Capital world in the Alraxian Empire with Shadow...to just hours earlier when he’d left Loki to get to the planet and go through with all of this. No details were left out, and it felt amazingly good to finally let someone know everything instead of having to keep it all in.
Once it was over and Jyren finally sat back, Terek looked over the young man very slowly, “Now I think I understand why it took you this long to get out here. Sounds to me like this is the first time you’ve had to actually sit in nearly five years.”
A smile slipped through Jyren’s defenses and he added a shrug to it, “That’s about right. But its not so bad...”
“If you’re worried about me being angry that you found someone other than my daughter, don’t be,” Terek shook his head and glanced over to the holo again, “Its important to accept that was has happened has already happened and cannot be changed. No, the pain will never go away, but you must learn to live with it and go on with your life...and, honestly, it sounds to me like you’ve done a good job with that. I know that Liz would be happy.”
Jyren’s eyes looked down at the floor before finally saying, “I guess I just don’t understand why I got a second chance...but she didn’t. She deserved one a thousand times more than I do.”
“Its not about who deserved anything,” Terek said simply, finally standing up and walking over to look out the window completely, “That’s just how life is. It can be gone or an instant or go on for who knows how long. There’s no sense in being angry because you were allowed to move on. No, its not fair, and yes, I want my daughter back as much as you do...but no amount of wanting will ever change that. Its something I had to learn, too...Jyren. What you do with your life is not anything to punish yourself about. Look out there. You say he’s not your real son, but really look. What do you feel? Does it even matter? That child right there is enough of a reason for you to live as anything else. How did you feel growing up without parents? Now look at him and ask yourself if you want the same for him...because if you continue to hang onto an event that is unchangeable, its going to happen.”
By now, Jyren was standing next to the man. He slowly nodded and watched as Toby rolled across some grass after some creature beneath the grass, “I understand...but still, there’s that feeling that comes back whenever I take too much time to think about it.”
“And that’s understandable,” Terek said, turning to face him, “But you learn to accept that, too. Its part of being...well, alive. Dealing with loss comes hand-in-hand with love. You can’t have one without the other, and no matter how much you seem to doubt yourself, you’ve done a damned good job standing up after being hit again and again.”
That actually brought the smile back to Jyren face, “I learned that from Liz. She never, ever let me fall behind on anything, whether I liked it or not.”
Patting him on the shoulder again, Terek returned the smile, “You see? She’s still right there with you, just not how you expected. And she always will be. I know that girl wasn’t Force Sensitive, but she was as stubborn as her mother...I know neither of them would ever let someone they loved go on without them, even if death tried to get in the way.”
There was a series of interesting curses from a few rooms over and a crash. A laugh escaped the old man and he pushed Jyren around to face the way he’d come in, “Speaking of my wife...listen, go get that little monster an bring him in. I know my wife would kill me if she didn’t get to meet you or the little one, and that means you aren’t getting out of here without being fed.”
Naboo was, generally, the same planet it had been since long before the Empire was even an idea. Its location, far from the Core Worlds, likely had a lot to do with the fact that it was not at all ravaged by the wars that had raged over the past decades. Even after the Empire fell, the planet was left alone...it had only been the vacation spot for most Imperial Officers, with a single garrison in the capital city of Theed to ‘protect’ the entirety of the planet. This, of course, meant that the general populace felt little influence from the Empire at all. The cities were still as beautiful and extravagant as ever, and the fields were farmed just as always.
Jyren set down the X-Wing in a spot where it didn’t look like he’d harm any crops, but also was in walking distance of the single building out in the middle of no where on the planet. It was the same, boxy structure as all the buildings on the planet, with green domed roofs over each of the sections. Even the older looking garage had the same design as everything else.
Tearing his eyes away from the view, Jyren hit the switch to raise the canopy and said over his shoulder, “So, Toby, why again were you hiding back there?”
A giggle sounded from the rear seat before a series of scratching noises and in a moment, the little Alraxian was perched on the edge of Jyren’s seat and looking him straight in the eye from only a few centimeters away, “Mama said you’d play!”
Jyren rolled his eyes, doing his best to ignore the word that Tobias had used instead of ‘Shadow’. Typical. He’d gotten the ship into hyperspace and then, out of no where, there was a ‘grrr!’ behind him. He’d assumed that Toby had snuck in on his own, but it suddenly made a great deal of sense that Shadow had been the start of it. She’d been...relatively quiet about where she and Loki were going, though it didn’t surprise Jyren for some reason. He’d been quiet, too.
It was...strange, really. There had been very, very little talk about what had happened. Not that neither of them wanted to, but more than there was nothing to actually discuss. It was over, and that was all that mattered. The very thought, though, surprised Jyren, and he knew it had a lot to do with the link. Normally, he’d have dwelled on something like that for years but...but the link seemed to make things different. He couldn’t bury anything inside without Shadow digging it right up, and a good amount of it probably had to do with some of her own personality seeping through to him.
“Alright, Toby, c’mon,” Jyren picked up the child after setting up the ladder and then climbed down to the grassy ground below. He was currently human, as it was just so much easier to fly an X-Wing like that and...and he needed to be currently. Once he was down, Jyren let Toby drop to the ground and watched he child’s eyes roam around almost like a predator, “I’ve got something to do first, little guy, so you stay out here and play.”
Tobias made an ‘uh-huh’ noise before pouncing what was probably a bug and ‘grrr’ing a lot. Jyren grinned and poked Toby in the back with his boot, “Don’t hurt anything, little guy, and stay close to the house.”
There was a noise from the little Alraxian before he scampered off into the part of the field with taller grass that made it easier to hide in. Jyren watched for a minute before taking off his gloves and tossing them up into the cockpit, then finally closing the thing. After climbing back down to the ground and straightening his old brown jacket out of nervousness, Jyren let out a long sigh and headed for the house.
When he reached the entrance, Jyren pressed the small call button next to the door. It beeped, and then he waited. Jyren only had to wait for a half minute before the door slid open to reveal an older man with greying brown hair and a simple shirt and trousers on. He was clean shaven and well tanned, obviously the type to be outside a great deal, and upon seeing Jyren, his expression seemed to change from somewhat annoyed to suddenly curious, “Can I help you...?”
So this was it.
Years of putting it off and ignoring it...and here he was. There was no turning back now.
After another deep breath, Jyren managed to find his voice, “Yes, sir, my name is ah...um...” he trailed off a long moment, suddenly blanking before his mind kicking the mouth into using the right one, “My name is Raan Maxwell.”
A wave of emotion washed over the man, and the expression on his face grew neutral. He stood there looking at Jyren for a long minute before finally saying, “I knew I recognized you...” there was another pause, and Jyren started to get more and more nervous. But then, the man reached up and patted his shoulder, motioning inside, “C’mon in, Raan, its good to finally meet you.”
Jyren followed where the man led him, eventually reaching a small room that looked to be the main living area. There were some chairs, a viewscreen, and other random things strewn about. Jyren had a seat in the chair offered to him, and the man sat across from him. When he sat, Jyren said, “I’m uh...sorry I didn’t do this sooner.”
“Its been nearly five years,” the older man responded with a nod, “We were...surprised that you didn’t show up at the ceremony.”
“Yes...well...” Jyren trailed off into a mumble and finally shrugged, “Listen, Mr. Mare, I’m...sorry.”
“Terek.”
“Huh?”
“That’s my name,” Terek Mare said with the first hint of a smile on his features. He then waved a hand at Jyren, “And you don’t have a damned thing to be sorry about. I know you wrote that long thing trying to explain how it was all your fault, but do you really think I didn’t make sure to get a hold of the official records, too?”
“No! No that’s not what I meant,” Jyren shook his head, trying to make sense of everything as it all became a thousand times more clouded, “I should have been here for the ceremony. I just...I just couldn’t do it then.”
Terek nodded, an understanding look on his face, then leaned forward some, “We actually tried to get in contact with you afterwards...but the New Republic said you left Starfighter Command and wouldn’t say anything else.”
“Yeah...” the young man just nodded, sighing and then forcing himself to look Terek in the eye, “It wasn’t exactly the best time for me. I...I did a lot of stupid things,” as he trailed off, it became obvious that the older man was going to try to say something, but Jyren waved a hand and quickly cut in, “Listen, I’m not here to tell you how bad things were. You had it worse, I know. She was your daughter.”
Again, Terek nodded, but he didn’t seem to be completely agreeing with Jyren, “None of us had it worse than anyone else. Liz was my daughter, yes, but...well, she talked a lot about you. In fact, it was all we ever heard about. It was hard on all of us, and it still is...but believe me, putting one of us below the other isn’t going to do a thing. Don’t worry about that now, Raan, just tell me what you need.”
“I don’t need anything,” Jyren shook his head, still finding it strange to respond to that name. He then quickly reached into his jacket and pulled out a handful of things and handed them to Terek, “I uh...kind of ended up with her things. I think you should have these.”
Taking the things from Jyren, the older man took a long time to look at all of them. The holoimage of her and Jyren...the random objects that everyone always seemed to have...and the datapad that was her journal. After a few quiet minutes, all of the objects were handed back to Jyren, “Keep them.”
“Wha...?”
“I’ve already got the image,” Terek said with a smile, pointing over to a table where an exact copy of it sat, “And the rest I think are better for you to keep.”
As Jyren took them back, suddenly lost as to what to do, the man spoke up again, “Its only been a few years, Raan...but if I didn’t know better, I’d say you were a decade older.”
“That bad, huh?” Jyren asked, almost grinning at that and finding a small mirror across the room to look at his face in. Yeah, he wasn’t that kid anymore. There were scars and scratches and...and the eyes didn’t look so happy. Or maybe just not as bright. Even his hair was scruffier. It didn’t help that the jacket had taken a worse beating than anything else over the years.
“Tell me,” the voice cut into Jyren’s thoughts and jolted him back into he moment, “Where have you been these last few years? From the way Liz talked, you aren’t the kind to just up and disappear like you did.”
“It’s a uh...long story.”
That actually got a smile out of the old man, “That was the first thing you wrote in the message to us after Liz died. It wasn’t exactly very long, either.”
Somehow, that got a smile from Jyren, too. He then added a shrug to it, “I’m just good at adding a little extra drama to things.”
“Alright, fine, you don’t have to tell me everything,” Terek shrugged and then glanced out one of the nearby windows that looked out across the field, “But I can probably make a few guesses. That little boy you’ve got with you definitely answers some things.”
“Woah, woah, woah!” Jyren shook his hands and his head, “Its not what you think. I mean...look at him!” he then looked around to look out the window, catching a glimpse of the black furred, blue-striped Tobias pouncing up and around a tree, “He’s not even human!”
Two very critical eyes turned to look back at Jyren, and Terek’s smile simply held its place, “I didn’t say it answers everything...but trust me on this, Raan, you look just like I did when Liz was young.”
The idea was left to hang in the air for a few minutes as the two of them watched Tobias through the window. After a while, though, Terek spoke up again, “You didn’t wait all these years to come out here and hand me a bunch of Liz’s things. Looks like you’ve got time to me, so why don’t you at least indulge me and tell me where you’ve been all these years?”
Jyren turned to look at the older man, but didn’t take very long to give in. He told Terek everything. Everything after Liz had died. From the darkest moments that hurt to even think about to that night on the Capital world in the Alraxian Empire with Shadow...to just hours earlier when he’d left Loki to get to the planet and go through with all of this. No details were left out, and it felt amazingly good to finally let someone know everything instead of having to keep it all in.
Once it was over and Jyren finally sat back, Terek looked over the young man very slowly, “Now I think I understand why it took you this long to get out here. Sounds to me like this is the first time you’ve had to actually sit in nearly five years.”
A smile slipped through Jyren’s defenses and he added a shrug to it, “That’s about right. But its not so bad...”
“If you’re worried about me being angry that you found someone other than my daughter, don’t be,” Terek shook his head and glanced over to the holo again, “Its important to accept that was has happened has already happened and cannot be changed. No, the pain will never go away, but you must learn to live with it and go on with your life...and, honestly, it sounds to me like you’ve done a good job with that. I know that Liz would be happy.”
Jyren’s eyes looked down at the floor before finally saying, “I guess I just don’t understand why I got a second chance...but she didn’t. She deserved one a thousand times more than I do.”
“Its not about who deserved anything,” Terek said simply, finally standing up and walking over to look out the window completely, “That’s just how life is. It can be gone or an instant or go on for who knows how long. There’s no sense in being angry because you were allowed to move on. No, its not fair, and yes, I want my daughter back as much as you do...but no amount of wanting will ever change that. Its something I had to learn, too...Jyren. What you do with your life is not anything to punish yourself about. Look out there. You say he’s not your real son, but really look. What do you feel? Does it even matter? That child right there is enough of a reason for you to live as anything else. How did you feel growing up without parents? Now look at him and ask yourself if you want the same for him...because if you continue to hang onto an event that is unchangeable, its going to happen.”
By now, Jyren was standing next to the man. He slowly nodded and watched as Toby rolled across some grass after some creature beneath the grass, “I understand...but still, there’s that feeling that comes back whenever I take too much time to think about it.”
“And that’s understandable,” Terek said, turning to face him, “But you learn to accept that, too. Its part of being...well, alive. Dealing with loss comes hand-in-hand with love. You can’t have one without the other, and no matter how much you seem to doubt yourself, you’ve done a damned good job standing up after being hit again and again.”
That actually brought the smile back to Jyren face, “I learned that from Liz. She never, ever let me fall behind on anything, whether I liked it or not.”
Patting him on the shoulder again, Terek returned the smile, “You see? She’s still right there with you, just not how you expected. And she always will be. I know that girl wasn’t Force Sensitive, but she was as stubborn as her mother...I know neither of them would ever let someone they loved go on without them, even if death tried to get in the way.”
There was a series of interesting curses from a few rooms over and a crash. A laugh escaped the old man and he pushed Jyren around to face the way he’d come in, “Speaking of my wife...listen, go get that little monster an bring him in. I know my wife would kill me if she didn’t get to meet you or the little one, and that means you aren’t getting out of here without being fed.”