Still another "women" venting

[The_Fan]

A few years back I was seriously considering joining the army. I didn't see any real future in the path I was going on, so I decided that after the semester was over I'd enlist. Before that happened, however, I met a girl. We started to get serious. Although we are both still virgins, it was my first non-platonic relationship. Gave me hope for the future, and I changed my mind.

Well, as these things go, the relationship turned sour. She had a lot of male friends, but it didn't bother me at all. I trusted her, but she didn't trust me. She turned out to be manipulative and possessive, trying to occupy every moment of my time while getting very jealous if I spent time with my female friends. She never outright forbade me to spend time with them, but made me feel really bad if I did. It was like she was in a near-constant depression and shoving me away at the same time as begging me to spend more time with her. Eventually we broke up, not with a bang but a whimper. I just plain didn't talk to her for a summer, and it wasn't until early this semester we finally worked it all out between us.

Or so I thought.

Lately I've been thinking a lot about her. I don't really know why, but for about a week she has occupied my dreams and thus had an influence on my waking hours too. I thought it was just that I was feeling sexually frustrated, but then last night during the middle of a game, a mutual friend drops a bomb on me:

She got engaged last week.

To one of her male friends I had no problem with when we were dating. Hell, from what little I saw of him I liked the guy.

Last night I was on an emotional roulette wheel, with the ball bouncing around randomly from anger to sadness to happiness for her to regret and all over. By morning it seems to have settled on rage. I've been randomly screaming and attacking inanimate objects all morning.

If you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go break stuff.

 

[GlassJaw]

People move on with their lives. As difficult as it is to believe, it happens. If you have trouble doing the same, get some help before you hurt yourself or someone else.

 

[fusangite]

As the sexually non-threatending male friend of a number of women, I found your story inspiring and heartwarming. It gave me hope.

 

[The_Fan]

People move on with their lives. As difficult as it is to believe, it happens. If you have trouble doing the same, get some help before you hurt yourself or someone else.

That was a bit unneccessary, but I do see your point.

I thought I had moved on. My rampage earlier this morning proved me wrong on that. I've since managed to calm down and am on my way to the gym to literally work out some of my remaining frustrations.

More than anything else, I wish she had been the one to tell me.

Fusangite, best of luck to you in the future too. I've tried that path too, never worked for me. *sigh*

I think what really bothered me was the fact that I'd recently been thinking about her for a reason unknown to me conciously, coinciding with her getting engaged. Sometimes I think it might be something that runs in my family, but I don't want to go into that sort of mystical garbage on a vent thread.

 

[Queen_Dopplepopolis]

Your frustration is justified to an extent... it really sucks when you have to hear that sort of thing through the grape vine, as it were.

I once had a guy break up with me and long before I had gotten over him - he had moved on and gotten a new girlfriend. I was furious for weeks. Sometimes, I still get mad - not because I still have feelings for stupid Jon, but because it makes me feel silly and foolish for investing so much in the relationship (and lack of relationship) at that time.

Despite your thoughts about her, it definately seems that you're better off without her.

 

[A2Z]

More than anything else, I wish she had been the one to tell me.

Why? Do you alert all your ex's whenever you get in to a serious relationship?

 

[Brother Shatterstone]

It sounds like you both went on your separate ways... Be happy for her, hope for the best in regards to yourself and try not to focus on your regrets in life… They can drag you down.

 

[Hijinks]

Are you angry because you think she might have been seeing him behind your back? That would hurt me, if I were in your shoes and suspected that.

It's very hard to hear that an ex has gotten over you. I've had to go through it several times. It's probably the hardest when you can't find anyone who will let you just talk it out and get it out of your system. If you need a person like that, feel free to contact me. I've been there.