Stocking libraries - a brainstorming thread


So, I thought some community brainstorming here might be fun. I'm looking for interesting titles of books to hide in the many libraries of the world that our parties might run across. Feel free to add your own. Some examples:

1. Of Wights and Men
2. The Dragon With the Girl Tattoo
3. Fifty Shades of Drow
4. To Kill A Minotaur (actually about an orc on trial for a murder he didn't commit...)
5. Bahamut Shrugged
6. DeathHouse Five
7. Flowers For Acererak
8. Bunions And Flagons: Player's Handbook
9. Memoirs of a Goblin
10. Lord of the Flumphs
11. The Worg in the Willows
12. One Flew Over the Wyvern's Nest


and so on!


Great Expectorations: Field Guide to Spitting Monsters
The Life of Brian
The Great Gygax
The Call of the Wild Things
Moby Kracken
The Gargoyles of Wrath
Things Catch Fire: Evokers Handbook
The Cockatrice In the Rye


Do they have to be specifically D&D themed or can they be simply parodies of real world mystical and/or old-timey texts, and/or generically fantasy parodies of real books?

26.) The Book of Statistically Random Numbers
27.) The Dead Cat Scrolls
28.) The Book of Reevaluation
29.) Lembas Bread Tiger
30.) What Color is Your Ring of Feather Falling
31.) The Dark Lotus Sutra
32.) The Gouda Purana
33.) The Revelation of Jon Irenicus
34.) The Book of Anomalous Prayer
35.) The Technical Writing Edda
36.) The Book of Coming Forth Out Of The Closet
37.) Liberation Through Sightseeing in the Flyover States
38.) The Book of Dreamcast
39.) The Book of the Prophet Jambalaya
40.) The Book of the Post-Apocalypse
41.) Lifestyles of the Rich and All-Powerful
42.) La Hombre de Murciélagos del Alma (The Dark Knight Of The Soul)
43.) Better Gnomes And Goblins
44.) This Old Dungeon
45.) The Actuaries of the Apostles
46.) Ketchup On The Rye
47.) Dreamtime Magazine
48.) The Madness of King Beer
49.) The Tragedy of McDonalds
50.) The Furry Wives of Windsor
51.) Loathing's Labors Lost
52.) The Taming of the Shoe
53.) The Epistle of the Imprisoned Prince
54.) The Epistle of the Foreign Apothecary
55.) The Epistle of G1rthPilz
56.) The Divine Tragedy
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DM Magic

I have a couple tables I use for random books and such. Here's titles:

Quotes from King Regenald VI
Amathar’s Chronicles of the Tetrad Heresy: How Eleven Monks Took On an Empire
The Art of the Eladrin
The Autobiography of Sir Keveron Truelance the Third, Esquire
The Day Of Fire: A Play In Five Acts
Distaff And Shepherd’s Crook: The Importance of Textiles
A History of the War-Priests of Bzondricanth
Last Words of the Condemned: A Collection of Confessions
A Doctor’s Guide to the Medicinal Benefits of Bloodletting
Phaedra’s Collected Fables and Nursery Rhymes
A Discourse on Friendship
Shezifar’s Tome of Unfulfilled Prophecies
Essays on the Nature of Love
Common Signs and Omens
Truth, Beauty, and the Knightly Ideal
Weights and Measures
A Herald’s Guide to Pennants, Standards, and Crests
The Tears of the Blood Saints
Common Causes for Border Wars
Fasting and Spiritual Growth
Wildlife of the Abrugulian Moors
Dawn of the Primordials: A Tale Told In Three Parts
Essentials For the Equestrian
A Nation at War: Zokathra Marches
Bear’s Hollow: A Sketchbook
Construction of a Keep
Designing and Planting a Hedge Maze For Beginners
Overview of Dwarven Epic Poetry
Battle Hymns of the Celestial Tower Before the Fall
The Traveling Bestiary of Farlad
Principles of Finance
The Sad Tale of Sargon Rex
Encyclopedia of Common Plants
A Guide to Giantish Runes
Sex, Love, and Shadow Puppetry
A Culinary History of the Barony of Jarik
Leeches in Contemporary Medicine
A Common-to-Beholder Dictionary
The Tale of the Carpenter and The Dragon
Torture and Morality: One King’s Search to Become a God
The Care and Feeding of Falcons
Symptoms and Treatments for Conjuritis
Whispering Leaves: A Translated Anthology of Elven Poetry
Castle Sanitation: A Guide
The Brewing Storm: Signs Every Tax Collector Should Know
The Meaning of Fealty
Haunted Sites of the Realm
Negotiating With Trade Guilds: Politics Deep in the Hirogen Empire
The Life of Saint Ryla
Collected Tavern Songs Volume IX
The Mosaics of the Monastery of the Crystal Cartel
Proper Administration of a Royal Granary
Legal Codes of the Realm, New Edition
Common Phrases in Abyssal
The Burning Candle: A Romance
Basics of Winter Food Preservation
What Is Evil: Collected Essays
Seeking the Philosopher’s Stone
Burial Customs of Ancient Peoples
Court Mannerisms and Etiquette
Cultivating Common Pipeweeds
The Fashions of the Court of Baron Uther XVII
The Indispensable Vizier
The Ice Saga of Eonyl: The Frost-Reaver of Cartahena
Heraldry of the Realm
An Introduction to Ale-Brewing
Barbarian Tribes of the North
The Mystery of the Dolmen of Drychwood
Deployment of Spearmen on the Battlefield
The Chandler’s Craft
Sehanine’s Dream, Fourth Edition
Basics of Financial Recordkeeping
Lady Thanagar and the Birdpeople of Farscopos
Principles of Governing and Lordship: A Guide for Novices
Great Sculptors of History
Military Decorations of the Seventh Dynasty of Reece
The Sins of the Kingpriest: A Play
A History of the Fourth Age
An Illustrated Guide to Gems
Administration of Low Justice
On the March: A Lieutenant’s Manual of Battlefield Cadences
Pirates of the Azure Sea
Matters of the Hart: A Guide to Hunting and Trapping
Tales of Valor and Triumph During the High Clerist’s Reign
Tenets of Statesmanship
Interpreting Goblin Pictoglyphs
The Dreamsong of Viscountess Emilia Quinston
Eleven Knightly Virtues
Mathematics and Astronomy: Fundamental Truths of Our World
Customs of Established Religions
Bloodlines of the Lords of Rissel
Principles of Astral Navigation
The Halfling Calendar: Abridged
The Wisdom of Our Three Kings
Basics of Husbandry
Conventions of Bardic Music
A Treatise on Medicinal Herbs
A History of the Noble House of Zephron
The Virtues of Courtly Love
The Tale of Etienne And The Fox

Here's authors:

Mora Pol
Duke of Corbomite
Ro Laren
Elim Garak
First Minister Shakaar Edon
Horacio Quarrington
Kimara Cretak
Winn Adami
Alexander Rozhenko
Sylvia Tilly
First Maje Jal Culluh
Glinn Daro
Gul Dukat
Luther Sloan
Enabran Tain
Wilton Yale
Samantha Wildman
Kira Nerys
Nagus Zek
Reginald Barclay
Prylar Rhit
Duras, Son of Ja’rod
Praetor Decius
Prefect Aakhus
Legate Damar
Opaka Sulan
Gabriel Lorca
Lord Erskine Caldwell III
Dohlman of Elas
Shakaar Edon
Ezri Dax
Thy’lek Shran
Alynna Nechayev
Lady Atilla Ilhan
Groppler Zorn
Tora Ziyal
Hugh Culber
Kasidy Yates
Macet Vash
Regent Oxilon IV
Maximilian Forrest

And here's filler categories:

Account records
Astral chart
Forbidden lore
Heretical text
Legal code
Lunatic’s ravings
Magic tricks
Navigational chart
Prayer book
Property deed
Sheet music
Magic scroll


157.) The Omnomnomicon
158.) The Narcotic Manuscripts
159.) The Eiderdown Shards
160.) The Seven Cryptical Books of Hand-Jive
161.) The Tragedy of Romeo and Julio
162.) Diuretics: The New Science of Renal Health
163.) The First and Second Book of Mackerels
164.) The Trip of Tacos
165.) Tafsir of the Two Mystogans
166.) The Boxspring Book
167.) The Dreamhouse Essays
168.) The Frugal Cannibal Cooks A Wino
169.) The Frugal Cannibal Cooks Three Ancient Corpses
170.) The Frugal Cannibal Cooks A Whole Family
171.) 101 Paranormal Activities You Can Try At Home
172.) The Queen of Stone And Light
173.) The Mahaburrito
174.) The King In Brown Pants
175.) The First Book of Macklemore
176.) The Book of Jurors
177.) The First Book of Unelected Autocrats
178.) The First Book of the Chronic
179.) The Emerald Cellphone of Hermes Trismegistus
180.) The Nekonomicom
181.) Mysteries of the Tequila Worm
182.) Impronounceable Cults
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187 The Word of Bane (or other deity)
188 Killing __ (insert folk hero's name here)
189 Musical Scores (owner is a bard)
190 Practicing Rhabdomancy (means finding water with a forked stick)
191 Goodnight Moons and other childrens' stories
192 Basic Kobold (language translator and dictionary)
193 One-Dragon Ante: Solitaire
194 The True History of Cyric (but Cyric is the god of lies)
195 untitled book that is a bunch of notes not an organized text
196 Secret Path to Wealth (fake book with secret compartment holding gems)
197 1001 Bad Puns and Silly Limericks
198 This Glyph Means "Explosive Runes"!
199 the Glyph of Warding on the cover really is an Explosive Rune
200 The Clockwork Chime Of Midnight (murder mystery)

Ogre Mage

201. The Tymora's Luck Club
202. Murder on the Lightning Rail Express
203. The Nymphmaid's Tale
204. Invisible Stalker
205. Waiting for Akadi to Exhale
206. Passage to Evermeet
207. The Warlock of Undermountain (a Fighting Fantasy gamebook)
208. The Mystery of Shar's Rock (a choose your own adventure book)
209. 100 Years of Sphinxes
210. Crazy Rich Waterdavians
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211.) Goodnight Death Asteroid
212.) The Stealing Tree
213.) Prayer For An Old Person
214.) The Very Poisonous Caterpiller
215.) The Book of Transfinite Numbers
216.) The Acts of Congress
217.) The Book Of Executioners
218.) Murder On The Kara-Tur Express
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Here are a bunch I've been collecting into a text file from various sources
One of the canonical satirical works of Kessler, War of the Five Ducks
The Miron Code
Black Hearts and Bloody Hands
Red Hot Iron, White Hot Iron, Cold Black Iron
The Forgotten Continent
The Vampire Slattern Saga
13 Shades of Gray
The Hitcher's Guide to Zilargo
The Flame Delusion
A Brief History of the Planes
All Quiet on the Droaamish Front
7 Cantrips of Highly Destructive Wizards

a bunch of cheap Romances written by an aberration who feeds off of romance and arousal. She lives in Sharn.

The Barbarians body.
Bride of the Bard.
Temptation in Thrane.
Druids in the Night.
Warriors Wedding.
Touch of the Monk.
White hot Paladin Love.
The Ranger in Black.
Romancing the Rogue.
A Sorcerous Affair.
I was loved by a Warlock.
Wizards first Wife.
Illithid love. (As a play on Illicit love.)
Love Conquers All, a How-To Guide for Non-Standard Partnerships.
Briney Lips, Or: How A Handsome Khoravar Sailor Stole My Heart (Unabridged)" complete with a detailed cover drawing of a half-elf sailor with AMAZING abs

Scorpion and Skull - A Study of Drow
Serpentis Fragmentum - The Study of Ancient Xen'drik Serpent Cults

Morolynn's Morticery and Other Uncommon Undead
Accounts from the 3rd Witherstone Expedition.
Trade Laws of the Old Empire
Magebred Hamsters and You.
He Stood Unmoved: A Biography of Bastion.

Naturalist's Guide to Eberron Vol. 1
Lhazaar Lover
Sharn's Hottest Districts
Six Months in Riedra (a travelogue)
Six Months in Riedra (not a travelogue)
Monsters are Mothers

One of the canonical satirical works of Kessler, War of the Five Ducks
The Miron Code
Black Hearts and Bloody Hands
Red Hot Iron, White Hot Iron, Cold Black Iron
The Forgotten Continent
The Vampire Slattern Saga
13 Shades of Gray
The Hitcher's Guide to Zilargo
The Flame Delusion
A Brief History of the Planes
All Quiet on the Droaamish Front
7 Cantrips of Highly Destructive Wizards

A primer for the undead in Karrnath, meant for easing young kids into the idea of older family being undead. "So Grandpa's still coming to holiday dinner."

A double-faced, hand-written pslam-style book: one side is titled, History of Drooamish Intellectuals and signed, "With Love, your Aunt Nellie". Other side is titled, List of Darguuni Pacifists. The sketch-filled margins are a pornographic flip-book.

The qualifying thesis of Nelson Nelsor (ne: the Zilargo Nelsors) for formal acceptance into The Trust entitled:
The Effects of Geography & Giganomics on Ahistorical Factors pertaining to the Five Nations & Lesser Powers, from their Origins down to the Present Day.
It is 22 1/2" by 16", weighs 18 pounds, and is over 800 pages long in its current form. It is periodically updated with new pages, revisions, and petulantly thick over-writing by low ranking grad-scholars.
These expensive editions are magically linked to a master copy which allows them to be updated in real-time. The book is able to automatically recycle fabric & paper, converting those materials into newly updated pages.
A side-effect of updates is that the book will consume other books, scrolls, sleeves, blouses, even skirt or pant fronts if the book is being held in the lap at the time of an update. Spell books & scrolls may inadvertently release their spell effects while being consumed.
The book is widely-considered to be the most obnoxiously tedious expression of writing in any language. It is unclear how traveling thesis sales-gnomes have been so successful in disseminating the book throughout every respectable library in Khorvairre, but the rumors that it contains cypher keys to the code languages of many intelligence agencies are thoroughly definitely probably specious.


I think we're on number 263, if I parsed tetrasodium's list correctly and not counting the part that appeared twice

263.)The Rhombicuboctahedron Texts
264.) The Nag Me All Day Codex
265.) The Red Book of Herring
266.) The Epic of Gilligan
267.) The Iodized Psalter
268.) The Joy of Cooking People
269.) Flying Carpets From Outer Space
270.) Ars Goatse
271.) The Hero With 1000 Feces
272.) The Inferno Lost
273.) The Inferno Regained
274.) The Phonebook of the Dead
275.) Fear and Loathing in Lost Continents
276.) The Rime of The Ancient Marinade
277.) The Telltale Colon
278.) Fantastically Evil Beasts and Where to Find Them
279.) Harmonicas of the World (Harmonicas Mundi)
280.) On The Nature of Air Smithing (De Re Aerosmith)
281.) On the Mundanity of the World (De Mundi Mundane)
282.) Regarding All Colleges (De University Universitate)
283.) The Linen Book of Linens
284.) The Book of the Prophet Jose
285.) The Encyclopedia Satannica
286.) The Divine Oscarbait Drama
287.) The Song of Rolex
288.) The Divine Opera
289.) The IMRAD Edda
290.) The Art of Courtney Love
291.) The Summa of Ludacris
292.) The Book of Banal Prayer
293.) The Tale of Dan Cain's Campaign
294.) Diegetics [sic]
295.) A Short History of Dwarven Philosophy
296.) The Acts of Gods
297.) The Nudnik Manuscript
298.) Magnificent Mansions of the Rich and Famous
299.) The Volume of Not Letting the Heart of a Man Be Snatched Away From Him In A Bar Somewhere
300.) The Affirmative Denial
301.) The Lesser Key of Imagination
302.) The Final Folio
303.) The Annals of Salisbury Steak
304.) Vast Active Living Ignorance System
305.) The Book of Terry the Contender
306.) The Coronation of Louie the Ape
307.) The Searing Catalog
308.) The Opiate Diagrams
309.) The Prey Codex
310.) A Song of Fire and More Fire
311.) Their Eyes Were Watching A Play About Talking Animals
312.) Book to the Illuminati, In Praise of the New Order
313.) The Book of Juggalos
314.) Yuengling Saga
315.) The Nun's Priest's Father's Brother's Nephew's Cousin's Former Roommate's Tale
316.) Radio Free Avalon
317.) How To Eat A Child
318.) The Mimosa Sutra
319.) The Song of Rolaids
320.) The Texmexonomicon
321.) The Law Codex of Vindaloo
(geez a lot of these parodies are cookbooks; there's gotta be a campaign concept in that somewhere)
322.) Quaternion Mathematics in Crop Rotation
323.) The Me-Gusta Codex
324.) The Tales of Count Luchador
325.) The Cantilever Tales
326.) Battlefield Oerth
327.) Fear Of A Dwarf Planet (full score and sheet music)
328.) The Epic of Biomesh
329.) Hot Bodies (a treatise on fire magic containing graphic illustrations of its effects on human targets)
330.) The Coloring Book Out of Space (a sinister lovecraftian tome for youngsters
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I think we're on number 263, if I parsed tetrasodium's list correctly and not counting the part that appeared twice
I'm pretty sure that the vast majority (90%+) of my list was taken from discussions like this for those times it might come in useful & wouldn't be surprised it lots of it was duplicated. I think there is also a page or so of various plays somewhere in rising but not sure where


Sparkly Dude
Yes to this thread!

Perusing your local library's catalog will present an exhaustive list of titling inspiration. Sort by genre to stock shelves applicable to the collection's owner. For example, a noble lord might be well-served by having histories and biographies define his holdings whereas a collection of arcane tomes might predominantly feature science and nature materials.

Boston Public Library makes it easy: Books


Rotten DM
331 Orc and pie 300 receipes
332 Bubbles and squeak and 101 swamp dishes
333 Blood Sausage 60 receipes for the hungry vampire
334 dead letters or how to kill your victim with no one be the wiser