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Message: <blockquote data-quote="STARP_JVP" data-source="post: 2740441" data-attributes="member: 31580">OK. I think I can make a sizable contribution here. There's this one player in my group...well, see for yourself. Here are some samples of his handiwork.Using a flame strike spell while me and another PC are in melee range of his target.Using a summon swarm spell (I forget why, but it wasn't necessary by any means) and then using a gust of wind to disperse the swarm. The swarm had attacked my friend the cleric who was inside her tent. When Sir Isaac used the gust of wind, it blew the tent fifty feet backwards into a tree, with the cleric still inside. A moment later she emerged and said a striong of very un-holy words before climbing down the tree.While about 7th level, the PCs encountered a Pit Fiend. Now, there was no way they were going to win that fight - the idea was that the pit fiend filled a story role, and wasn't a combatant. The pit fiend didn't even take notice of the PCs' presence - they were, after all, like ants to him. All this was, of course, until Mozart says "I hit it with my greataxe." I was in a charitable mood so I said that the pit fiend still ignored him after the axe bounced off him, but had I been feeling more malicious I would have beaten the living snot out of him.This same PC had a habit of going after the low-level minions while his less-combat-oriented PCs got spanked when they went up again the various bosses. As a result, John Nash would then boast "I got fifteen!" to which his companions would say "Great. We got one, between us, and he beat the crap out of us. You're a real big hero."The one time this guy did go up against a boss, he regretted it. In the same adventure as the pit fiend incident, an ice devil showed up. This is a CR 13 creature. Like the pit fiend, it was there to serve a story purpose - ie. eating the town. The smart and intended thing for the PCs to do was to find the source of the demon invasion and stop it. Hawking decided to go after the ice devil. This one didn't ignore him, and he's bloody lucky he passed his massive damage save, that's all I can say.Einstein had only a passing role in this one, but it's still funny. Einstein was pretending to be a great general in order to drum up support for the resistance. The great "General Toth" was to be the face of the struggle against oppression. Which is fine. However, the effect was rather spoiled when, after apprehended some prisoners, the party's mage said "General Toth, would you guard these prisoners?", thereby alerting the prisoners, whom they released, that the great "General Toth" was anything but the leader.When fighting a large (or possible Huge) snake, Asimov decides to kill it by jumping on its back and covering its eyes, meaning a screaming warrior is dragged by a blinded snake (which doesn't really affect it much anyway) through a dungeon hollering for help.In the same campaign, Kasparov has a mount which is, I swear to god, a bird, which we all referred to as "Big Bird". We are fighting some dudes, many of whom are several hundred feet away. We're all mounted on horses, but Sherlock decides to fly on ahead on big bird. He lands in front of the guys three rounds before we get there - and, as he's outnumbered five to one, gets resoundly pummelled and has to meekly ask for our assistance.But, for true unadulterated gormlessness, this story takes the cake.We are in a city, looking for the person or persons who captured the DMPC, our friend (we actually like this DMPC. I know - we're weird). Anyway, I managed to locate someone who was the go-between between thugs and clients, and I was pretty sure I could get him to talk. Unfortunately, while I was tailing him, he spotted me and ran. Sounds like an exciting chase? Well, it was. I ran after him for a bit but started to fail my Con checks, so I dropped out. Wittgenstein decides to continue the chase, and he catches up to the guy, but not before the guy finds some local watchmen and says "help". So the watchmen protect the guy and, swords out, tell Socrates to lower his weapon. At this point, I arrive, having cried "stop thief" before, hoping the guards would take the guy, as had just happened.This was my plan. As a bard (well, a sort of bard. Lone Wolf Sage of Lyris, actually) I was a skilled talker, and my plan, which I think was a good one, was to persuade the guards to turn the "thief" over to me, where I would deal with him myself. This had a reasonable chance of success. Unfortunately, Plato got in the way. He still had his sword out, and the guards did too. Everything would have been alright if he'd just dropped his weapon, as I had done, and let me handle it. The PC had the power to shatter stuff.Me: Dude, just drop it.Sartre: I shatter their swords.The room exploded into cries of "No!" and people clutching their heads, banging heads on the floor, etc. The DM just stared, mouth open, at the new winner of the Big Dumb White Guy pageant. Finally, after five minutes of hysterics, he did the combat - which resulted in da Vinci standing in a pile of dead guards - with ten more on the way. He was dragged off to the stockade and hanged for his crime, and all of us merely said "What's for lunch?"This player is best summed up in the following actual exchange. An NPC informed the players of the presence of mind flayers. Then:Pythagorus (alarmed): Mind Flayers?Another PC: Relax. You're quite safe.We now have awards for this kind of behaviour. This guy wins every time.</blockquote>

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