Okay, here is everyone's chance to encounter the Tarrasque in play.
You are Bullywulf, legendary hero (Fighter 18/Cleric 17/Thief 20). You wield Excaliper, the legendary twin sword famous for "measuring out the final moments of monsters' lives."
You have tracked the legendary beast to its lair. After spending an hour scouting and listening, you believe it may be asleep.
What do you do? (Choose one sblock)
1. Charge in and skewer it while it is asleep.
[sblock]It wasn't asleep. It breathes paralyzing acid on you (What? Stupid DM: always altering the monsters) swallows you whole and you are slowly digested over several hours, wishing for sudden death the entire time.[/sblock]
2. Sneak in and look to sneak attack it, doing my massive extra damage.
[sblock]You catch it unawares and deal nearly 500 hit points of damage in one shot. That seems to anger it slightly and it impales you on both of its horns and then shoves them into the cave wall behind you. For several minutes its gaze stuns you into inaction as it slowly awakens. First one claw, then another slowly peel all of your equipment, armor and clothes off. It scrapes all of your belongings into a pile. Next it backs away from the wall and lowers its horns. You slide to the ground in great pain but not dead. It flicks a claw at you as if to say "Go away." You scramble away, naked but happy to be alive. You grin and run to freedom.[sblock]Only to be cruelly grabbed from behind as it pounces and grinds you into a thick marinara sauce.[/sblock][/sblock]
3. Spend time buffing myself as much as I can, then carefully walk in with my sword drawn.
[sblock]It charges as you first come into view. You fail your Will save and run screaming away for at least 12 seconds before it pins you to the ground with its tail spike. You continually fail your Grapple/Escape checks as it sucks your flesh off your bones one agonizing limb at a time.[/sblock]
4. Blow the legendary Horn of Hero Summoning, and gain 1000 bloodthirst barbarian allies.
[sblock]They last 3 rounds, total. Cautiously bringing up the rear, you are just in time to observe the last of them being made into chunky salsa. Unfortunately, a hitherto-unknown side effect of blowing the Horn has rendered you unable to take offensive actions for 10 rounds. You live 4 rounds as it slowly, oh-so-slowly, squeezes your skull in its mouth. Yes, since you asked, its breath is truly horrific.[/sblock]
Summary (Open after you have chosen one sblock from above)
[sblock]Even with all your legendary stuff and your legendary self, you were no match for the legendary tarrasque. Better luck next character![/sblock]