Since every Handbook needs a pop quiz, I would like to re-submit my "Dungeoneer's Survival test" from a couple of years back. This test will separate the old-school gamers from the new, for sure.
1. You are a low-level party and have been tracking a group of orcs in the wilderness to dispatch them. When you find the orcs, they are engaged in battle with a Gargantuan black dragon that is easily 40 feet long, who is mopping the ground with them. The dragon is obviously defending a large cave that looks like its lair. The dragon has not seen you yet.
DO YOU:
a) Wait for the battle to finish, then see how badly wounded the dragon seems. Retreat if the dragon seems still quite healthy.
b) Charge into battle screaming, and attack the orcs and the dragon simultaneously.
c) Look up to the sky, mutter "A 40-foot long dragon? Are you kidding us?" and sneak away, looking for an easier target.
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2. You have just finished slaying some evil orcs in a guardroom of a temple dedicated to an evil god. The room contains little furniture, save 3 chairs and a table, and some sleeping pallets.
WHAT DO YOU DO?
a) Search the room for treasure, loot the bodies of any useful belongings, and move along.
b) administer last rites for the poor orcs' souls, cover them with any spare blankets you have or the pallets, say a small prayer for the unnecessary bloodshed, and move along.
c) Remove the legs from the tables and check for hollow areas, dissasemble the tabletops into their constituent boards, check the walls for secret doors in 1-foot increments, assign one party member to search the pallets straw by straw, and ask the mage to perform exploratory surgery on the orcs you killed in order to determine if they perhaps swallowed any valuables before you burst the door down on your way in.
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3. You have come to another room in the evil temple, containing nothing but two empty alcoves, and a stone statue in the center of the room with two emeralds for eyes.
WHAT DO YOU DO?
a) have the fighters watch the statue carefully, as the party rogue prepares to deftly pry the gems from the eye sockets.
b) knowing that your party has to face horrible evil ahead, it presses onward, knowing that it will have a chance at fabulous wealth AFTER the evil has been faced and defeated.
c) Leave the statue? Are you kidding? Have the party mage cast rock to mud under the statue, and let it sink in just enough to get to chest height. Then cast dispel magic to return the mud to stone, and let the rogue pry out the gem eyes (while watching him like a hawk, of course).
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4. Your party has just defeated the evil Priest of the temple after a pitched battle. On the high priest is a magic item that the party has never seen before. They know it has a button to activate it.
WHAT DO YOU DO?
a) Pick a party member to be the tester. Load the tester down with so much gear that he can barely move, and let him activate the item.
b) Pick a party member to be the tester. Strip the party member naked, and let him activate the item.
c) The mere fact that one would CONSIDER having a party member test an unidentified item in the middle of a dungeon means that one should have one's head examined. You laugh and pack the item away in your portable hole so the city sage can work on it later.
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5. Deep in the bowels of Mount Pain, you come to the crucial encounter with Alastryx, the deep dragon who rules this domain. He swiftly lifts himself up to his great height, and almost instantaneously swipes and hits your group's toughest fighter, killing him dead on the spot with ONE blow.
WHAT DO YOU DO NEXT?
a) Immediately drop your weapons, plead for your lives, and give him all your items in exchange for life and escape.
b) Attack him immediately, because you are certain that he can't get in a lucky shot like that again.
c) The Mages and Clerics of the party shout, "We bring you food and treasure, Great Lord!" and then activate their Teleports and Words of Recall, leaving the party fighters and rogues behind.
6. After a tremendous battle, you have finally slain the Huge Blue Dragon Con-ed, and though broken and battered, your eyes gleam as you gaze upon his treasure. Unfortunately, you realize that there are so many coins here, that even packing yourself full, you cannot carry it all.
WHAT DO YOU DO?
a) Prioritize the treasure, then take only those things that are magical and most valuable with you, while still keeping off enough weight to be able to flee properly in a potential battle.
b) Leave several party members behind, while the mages make several trips via teleport to town and return in order to eventually ferry out all the treasure.
c) After loading yourselves full, you also use the mages' teleports, teleports without error, and teleport circles to get all the treasure home. That which cannot be taken due to size is Shrink Item'ed down or is hauled in huge chests using the Fabricate spell and any raw materials that can be found.
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7. Your party has been called upon to follow the tracherous Drow Elves into the Earth. You expect to journey for at least 3 months, yet bringing 3 months of food is not feasible.
WHAT DO YOU DO?
a) Depend on the clerics' create food & water to supply the party.
b) Bring along several pack mules to carry all the food.
c) Polymorph several large Angus cattle into sparrows, and bring along suffcient food water and medicines to keep them alive. You also place them in a cage away from your body, just in case one of them dies and reverts to form. Just kill one every time you need fresh food, and for gods' sake don't kill one while still in the cage - the domino effect as each bird gets crushed and dies would be catastrophic. And FOR GOD'S SAKE DON'T LET THEM GET EXPOSED TO POISON GASES!!!!!
