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The Adventures of the Knights of Spellforge Keep

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Spatula said:
Murder-hole: A hole cut in the roof of passages needing defense, such as in gatehouses or along the top of curtain walls. Through murder holes could be poured hot water, oil, stones or archers could fire through them wrecking havoc on the assaulting troops.

http://www.chronique.com/Library/Glossaries/glossary-KCT/gloss_m.htm#murder-hole

Although in the story hour, it sounds more like arrow slits (since murder holes are part of the ceiling, not the walls).

What about those round holes in the walls that allow for spears and other pointy things to be shoved through? Smaller at the end where the spear goes in then when it goes out, it allows for aiming while still providing cover. Aren't those called murder holes too?

Sammael99 said:
Doc,

If you don't write some more, we'll unleash Lela on you !

BEWARE !

Lela's eyes gain a wicked glint as she reaches into her bad and removes a drinking straw, an empty two litter bottle (formerly holding Sprite) w/o a lid, and a pair of metal tongs.

"I can make him write," Lela's voice is filled with maniacal mirth.


Did I mention that Lela recently became Drow?
 
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Okay, as requested by Wee Jas, here's a parody song sung to the tune of "Lola." For obvious reasons, it's dedicated to Lela, our own Story Hour Addict from Utah.

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LELA

I met her on the web down at EN World where I
Spend my time when I'm not watching old Bob Vila
V-I-L-A Vila
On Doc Midnight's site there are many addicts
There's Horacio, Tsunami, and a girl who's called Lela
L-E-L-A Lela, Le-le-le-le-Lela

Well, I'm not quite sure if the description's off
But apparently she looks a lot like Tasslehoff
Oh that Lela, Le-le-le-le-Lela
At 7 feet tall and some 400 pounds
I don't think that I'd fight her even for a few rounds
Oh that Lela, Le-le-le-le-Lela, Le-le-le-le-Lela

Well, I left the Knights of Spellforge Keep
Thought I'd give something else a peek
A Feng Shui game written up movie style
I thought, "Dear me, this ought to bring a smile"
Well, I took a virtual seat in the back
And who should I see there chowing down on a snack?
Lela, Le-le-le-le-Lela, Le-le-le-le-Lela
Lela, Le-le-le-le-Lela, Le-le-le-le-Lela

She sat by a guy
Who wore a bowtie
And tuxedo pants
With a well-oiled chest
And I didn't need to see the rest

Well all I can say is I know what I saw
And I guess that's the kind of thing they do in Utah
Oh that Lela, Le-le-le-le-Lela
Sometimes she seems like a pain in the neck
It's a sure thing she likes to pick on poor Vek
Oh that Lela, Le-le-le-le-Lela

With all my time spent on message boards
I'm using my typing skills, not my vocal cords
So Lela, smile, and know that you're in luck
I might write songs, but my voice sure does suck

Well, I know your wookiee sig is not about you
So I'll just picture the Leela from "Doctor Who"
Okay, Lela?
Le-le-le-le-Lela, Le-le-le-le-Lela
Lela, Le-le-le-le-Lela, Le-le-le-le-Lela

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Okay, now that I'm done with that, I just want to make sure that everyone understands that this is all intended in good fun. I am in no way endorsing the fact that Lela is a pain in the neck, or that she bears any resemblance at all to a wookiee, despite what her sig says. Quite the contrary, I think she adds quite a lot to this (and a few other) Story Hour forums.

However, if you should be offended, Lela, please feel free to come up with a retaliatory song about me. (Good luck finding something to rhyme with "Johnathan," though!)

And anyway, it's not really my fault. *points at Wee Jas* Vek made me do it!

Johnathan
Self-Appointed, Unofficial Bard to the Knights of Spellforge Keep Campaign
 


(Dead Milkmen style: )
Johnathan Johnathan
Prattle-ing on again
Johnathan Johnathan
Writing up songs and then
fleeing back into HELLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!

(Judas Priest style: )
In the black depths of Hell
where the demons and hounds
and the devil's dark bell
is rung once and it sounds

for JOHNATHAN!!!! JOHNATHAN!!!!
Crushing hope and scattering dreams!
it's JOHNATHAN!!!! JOHNATHAN!!!!
slaking his thirst on the innocents' screams!

Ebony claws wait
to sink into YOU!!!
Pure malice and hate
and destruction he knew

cause he's JOHNATHAN!!!! JOHNATHAN!!!!
Laughs at pleas for kindness and mercy!
oh, JOHNATHAN!!!! JOHNATHAN!!!!
Reigning as king of the D&D nerds, he....

is...

JOOOHHHHHHHNNN....
AAAAAA......

(drums pound, slow, to high-pitched climax: )

THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
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Richards said:


Okay, now that I'm done with that, I just want to make sure that everyone understands that this is all intended in good fun. I am in no way endorsing the fact that Lela is a pain in the neck, or that she bears any resemblance at all to a wookiee, despite what her sig says. Quite the contrary, I think she adds quite a lot to this (and a few other) Story Hour forums.

However, if you should be offended, Lela, please feel free to come up with a retaliatory song about me. (Good luck finding something to rhyme with "Johnathan," though!)


Not offended at all JR. And I'll let Doc be he who fights back.

This is likely the coolest thing I've ever seen on these boards and I think I might just come back and read it when I need a lift.

Thanks a ton,

Richards said:


And anyway, it's not really my fault. *points at Wee Jas* Vek made me do it!

I knew Vek had some good qualities. Somewhere under that boney exterior there's a soft caring spirit waiting to be set free. ;) :p
 

Vek made me do it!

I blame P Kitty of course.

I knew Vek had some good qualities. Somewhere under that boney exterior there's a soft caring spirit waiting to be set free

Now don't start those rumors again! Doc compares me to Golem and Grumbar says I'm like Darth Vader "All evil on the outside but just a crusty old man on the inside".

I'm just nice to them so I get the good magical items when they die
:cool:
 

Wee Jas said:


I blame P Kitty of course.



Now don't start those rumors again! Doc compares me to Golem and Grumbar says I'm like Darth Vader "All evil on the outside but just a crusty old man on the inside".

I'm just nice to them so I get the good magical items when they die
:cool:

You have a Vorpel sword. What exactly would you want from Grumbar?
 


LAST TIME: Grumbar and Edge were trapped in a force cage, leaving Vek, Jamison and Kizzlorn to deal with an attacking ice monster.

The huge ice creature started moving towards the wall. Kizzlorn backed away from it. “We’re about to have VERY BIG company… Fire spells on ready, people! Vek, can you get that cage open? We’re going to need their muscle.”

Vek thought quickly. “Yes,” he said. “Just keep whatever-it-is away from me for a few seconds while I work this spell.” He began casting.

BOOOOM!!! The thing smashed through the wall and lumbered towards them. Kizzlorn and Jamison unleashed a hell of fire on it, and they melted away some of the icicles.

Vek’s spell began working, and he said “Hurry… we have to be quick. This spell negates all magic in the area, meaning we’re all very vulnerable out here without our magical protections.” The cage of force around Edge and Grumbar blinked away, and they ran through and up to the monster. Vek let the spell end.

They pounded away at it. It swung a massive arm that raked across Grumbar, leaving several broken icicles protruding from his flesh. The fire spells were weakening the creature, and Grumbar was smashing away at it with his greatsword. Edge was knocking large chunks out with his lightning-fast punches and kicks.

“Oop- OH NO!” Grumbar’s grip on the sword loosened, and it flew past the monster to lie amidst the rubble. Edge cartwheeled over across the ground, then did a graceful flip through the air over the creature’s icy arm to land in a kneel next to the sword.

“Here!” He tossed it through the icicle monster’s legs, hilt-first, towards the half-orc, who caught it and swept it upward. It split the thing in two halves. It screeched and crumbled to the ground as shards and chunks of ice.

“Good work,” Grumbar said. “You stay by me.” He smiled in Edge’s direction, but Edge was already gone… hiding in the shadows as was his preferred way of moving about.

The group collected a great number of diamonds from the floor in the ice room. They looted the ettin’s corpse, and Edge sidled up to Jamison. “Gregg,” he said. “I couldn’t help but notice that when Vek’s antimagic field went up, you changed into a different person. What’s the illusion for?”

Jamison paused for a moment, then sighed and removed his hat of disguise. The illusion melted away to reveal Jamison’s true form. He saw no recognition in Edge’s eyes. ”My name isn’t Gregg Flamebrow. I’m traveling in disguise… because I’m wanted. My name is Jamison Crow.”

At this, Edge’s eyebrows did a little jump. “Crow. I know about Jamison Crow. He’s one of the most famed villains in the land. Why would you claim to be him?”

“I was under the control of an artifact… from the Temple of Elemental Evil. It turned me into a soulless killing instrument when I touched it. Calculating, monstrous, merciless.”

“So… you HAVEN’T escaped unscathed through touching things you know you shouldn’t.”

“No. Many people have died, and I don’t even remember most of the things I did. I was freed from the stone’s control by Kizzlorn’s aunt, and have lived my life since then in trying to right the wrongs of the world and make it better. Better, at least, than it would be if I were to just die. Though I deserve death, I’m going to attempt to leave things a little brighter here. Do you understand?”

Edge shrugged and said “What’s in a man’s past is his own business. I won’t turn you in. It’s not for ME to judge you. Just know that we’re alright so long as you don’t turn on me… because when you do, I drop you. Fast.”

The group had picked up all the treasure, so they went upstairs. There, they found two ice golems standing against the west wall of a room. They stepped inside, and an alarm started ringing. The golems attacked.

“Damn,” Vek muttered. “Get them, I’ll silence the alarm. We can’t have everyone here coming down on us.”

“Why not,” Kizzlorn said as she blasted at a golem. “They know we’re here already. The dragon knows. Why isn’t he doing something about it?”

“I don’t know, Kizz. Just be glad he hasn’t, yet.”

The golems were dealt with quickly, and footsteps rushed to the door and opened them. There stood three men- two extremely large and dangerous looking, and the third looking the deadliest of all. His eyes were yellow and his skin was white and scaled. His lips pulled back to reveal large, jagged teeth. “Kill them all!” he ordered as Grumbar and Edge rushed at them.

Edge managed to trip one and was about to pummel him when the man died in a swirl of green fire- just like that. The man on the left turned into a goldfish and flopped on the ground, and the last man, the half-dragon, died suddenly and fell down without any blows being exchanged. Edge looked up to see Jamison and Vek laughing over the combat… The three attackers were doubtless very powerful, but it hadn’t even taken five seconds to destroy them.

Grumbar sighed and sheathed his sword. He looked at Edge and sadly said “It’s like that a lot. Most of the time the bad guys are dead by the time I get to them.”

Jamison picked up the goldfish and put it in a barrel in his bag of holding. “Here you go, little fishie,” he said. “Jame Zon will take care of you now.”

They walked on. They kicked in a door and found a small room with a few tables, a surprised dwarf… and hundreds of glittering gems. “Who… who are you?” the dwarf stammered.

“Who are we? We’re here to kill your boss, and possibly you too. Who are YOU?”

“Guh!! Don’t kill me… my name’s Dommeruth. I was abducted by the dragon from Latona, and made to stay here and work on gems for his accursed golems.”

“So you work FOR him.”

“As opposed to DYING? Well, yes, thank you! I’d rather NOT die, like everyone else I knew. Hey, if you guys are here to kill the dragon, you’ve gotta take me with you!” He started stuffing gems in his pockets. “You’re heroes, right? You gotta save someone that needs rescuin’!”

“Err… yes.” Vek agreed distastefully.

“Well, let’s go!” Dommeruth finished putting the gems into his pockets.

“So you plan to steal all this from your boss?”

“Severance pay. Let’s go, I said. I can’t wait to be out of here.”

They left through the river and camped up in the dead cryohydra’s chamber. The dwarf slept upon his bed of gems… his clothes’ pockets were absolutely stuffed with the things. He cradled some protectively with his arm.

Vek, while on watch that night, felt the dragon watching over him. He leaned over, rubbed a clear spot in the ice, and gazed into it. Within a moment he was looking at Acessiwal. The dragon could see and hear Vek, and Vek could see and hear the dragon.

”LICH.”

“Wyrm.”

”YOU’RE DOING… WELL. I HAD… EXPECTED… YOUR TRIP THROUGH… THE CORRIDORS OF… COLDHEART… TO TAKE LONGER.”

“Yes. Just one or two more days, and it looks like we’ll meet again. First, though, we plan to clear out the lower level and free any more slaves you have, in between killing your lackeys.”

”YES, I BELIEVE… YOU WILL TRY.”

“If you were worried, you’d teleport to us and stop us, though, right?” Vek laughed, mocking the dragon. “Well, I’ve got to go back to watching over the group while being scried upon by a cowardly ice lizard, so if you’ll excuse me…”

”MORMONT… I HAVE COME… TO A DECISION. I… WILL NOT FLEE THE BATTLE… WILL YOU, IF IT GOES POORLY?” This time it was the dragon’s turn to sneer and mock. Vek kept silent. ”WHATEVER THE... OUTCOME, OUR NEXT MEETING… WILL BE... OUR LAST.”

Vek dispelled the scrying ice and stood, thinking, over his sleeping companions.

MORE TO COME...
 
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