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The Book of Just Jesus
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<blockquote data-quote="Altalazar" data-source="post: 49583" data-attributes="member: 939"><p>On the Eighth Day, we rested and walked again. Whilst we walked the trail, my patience everlasting as I explained yet again to Si Nu that he must have faith FIRST, then I can perform miracles for him, a loud crash was heard in the underbrush, by the horses. </p><p> One of the One True God's creatures, was before us! He was six cubits tall, twelve cubits long, and covered in awesome stripes, a shining example of the beauty of the One True God's creations! "Chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarge!!!!"</p><p> Nature is Man's to exploit, and so exploit it we will!</p><p> Muhammed on his horse charges ahead, swiping at the beast, but his curved sword does not swing true, much like his great, yet curved view of the One True Path to the One True God does not quite swing true!</p><p> God's creature must be pure of heart, for his claws swung true and ripped deep gashes across Muhammed's breast. </p><p> The Cook dismounts my ass, then slaps my ass on the ass, but to no avail. Judas is unmoved.</p><p> The witch swings a stick and calls forth an abomination, which is no match for the pure-hearted Creature of the One True God. It flailed about uselessly with much gnawing and mashing of teeth.</p><p> I, Just Jesus, smote it with my Greatsword of the One True God. I stood fast even as Muhammed charged off on his mount Mary, and finally dispatched God's Creature back to meet him in heaven. I knelt and said a short prayer, painting the Giant Red Cross on its back. </p><p> The priest of the false god and came forth to heal me. Drawing upon the faith in myself, I was healed, as was Muhammed. His strange rituals have no use, only faith can heal a true heart!</p><p> </p><p>Another day dawns for Just Jesus and his Disciples</p><p></p><p> On the final day of our journey to the temple of false, worldly knowledge we come upon a clearing. As we enter, Si Nu asks again "So, can you be making this water into wine? Can I have some wine from this water?" </p><p> Patiently, I ask, "Do you believe I can?"</p><p> "No, I do Not!"</p><p> "As soon as you think I can in your heart, you shall have your wine."</p><p>We fully enter the clearing. Many bodies of the fallen line the One True God's earth. The false god of fire's temple is burned to the ground. So much for this false god's claims of controlling the force of fire - only the One True God can control the uncontrollable!</p><p> Si Nu taunts, "Watch - will Just Jesus be raising the dead, now?"</p><p> I, Just Jesus, patiently shake my head. "You must believe BEFORE you die, my son." </p><p> Muhammed studies the ground, looking at the worldly tracks. "These almost look like lizard tracks, and yet they are way too big."</p><p> Drakyve is asked, "Are these clerics of fire?"</p><p> Muhammed mutters under his breath. "They could have been with 80 virgins. No sex on earth, and now for these poor souls, no sex in heaven."</p><p> Muhammed still does not follow the One True Path to the One True God. On the One True Path, there is no sex in either place.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Altalazar, post: 49583, member: 939"] On the Eighth Day, we rested and walked again. Whilst we walked the trail, my patience everlasting as I explained yet again to Si Nu that he must have faith FIRST, then I can perform miracles for him, a loud crash was heard in the underbrush, by the horses. One of the One True God's creatures, was before us! He was six cubits tall, twelve cubits long, and covered in awesome stripes, a shining example of the beauty of the One True God's creations! "Chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarge!!!!" Nature is Man's to exploit, and so exploit it we will! Muhammed on his horse charges ahead, swiping at the beast, but his curved sword does not swing true, much like his great, yet curved view of the One True Path to the One True God does not quite swing true! God's creature must be pure of heart, for his claws swung true and ripped deep gashes across Muhammed's breast. The Cook dismounts my ass, then slaps my ass on the ass, but to no avail. Judas is unmoved. The witch swings a stick and calls forth an abomination, which is no match for the pure-hearted Creature of the One True God. It flailed about uselessly with much gnawing and mashing of teeth. I, Just Jesus, smote it with my Greatsword of the One True God. I stood fast even as Muhammed charged off on his mount Mary, and finally dispatched God's Creature back to meet him in heaven. I knelt and said a short prayer, painting the Giant Red Cross on its back. The priest of the false god and came forth to heal me. Drawing upon the faith in myself, I was healed, as was Muhammed. His strange rituals have no use, only faith can heal a true heart! Another day dawns for Just Jesus and his Disciples On the final day of our journey to the temple of false, worldly knowledge we come upon a clearing. As we enter, Si Nu asks again "So, can you be making this water into wine? Can I have some wine from this water?" Patiently, I ask, "Do you believe I can?" "No, I do Not!" "As soon as you think I can in your heart, you shall have your wine." We fully enter the clearing. Many bodies of the fallen line the One True God's earth. The false god of fire's temple is burned to the ground. So much for this false god's claims of controlling the force of fire - only the One True God can control the uncontrollable! Si Nu taunts, "Watch - will Just Jesus be raising the dead, now?" I, Just Jesus, patiently shake my head. "You must believe BEFORE you die, my son." Muhammed studies the ground, looking at the worldly tracks. "These almost look like lizard tracks, and yet they are way too big." Drakyve is asked, "Are these clerics of fire?" Muhammed mutters under his breath. "They could have been with 80 virgins. No sex on earth, and now for these poor souls, no sex in heaven." Muhammed still does not follow the One True Path to the One True God. On the One True Path, there is no sex in either place. [/QUOTE]
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