The Case of the Missing Sandwich

[Zappo]

The "it doesn't exist here" DM. I once wanted to go on holiday in a Star Wars campaign, and the DM told me that there weren't any travel agencies or organized holidays. A few game months later, I was filthy rich and about to purchase the second cruise ship of my fleet.

edit: then there was the "there are no insurance companies" accident, but I never had time to exploit that properly because the campaign was terminated.

 

[jasper]

Excuse me Mr. Tsyr, I am jasper from the greyhawk butchers association. And I heard you been selling meat with out being a member in good standing. I going have to break one of your knee caps.
Thud!

Excuse me Mr. Tsyr, I am jasper from Bakers Reading Associates Expanding Democracy. I heard you needed some dough and have set up an illegal bread stall. I going have to break one of your knee caps.
Thud!

Excuse me Mr. Tsyr, I am Jasper from the Teamsters. I hope you were having a good day. But i heard you were carting around consumables in an unlicense cart and without a Carting license. I going have to break one of your knee caps.
Thud!

Nice dig at your dm.

 

[I'm A Banana]

I'd have you make a Profession (cook) or Craft (food) check or something in order to do it, but the DC's low, and your bonuses are good...

Nice.

 

[Tsyr]

Excuse me Mr. Tsyr, I am jasper from the greyhawk butchers association. And I heard you been selling meat with out being a member in good standing. I going have to break one of your knee caps.
Thud!

Excuse me Mr. Tsyr, I am jasper from Bakers Reading Associates Expanding Democracy. I heard you needed some dough and have set up an illegal bread stall. I going have to break one of your knee caps.
Thud!

Excuse me Mr. Tsyr, I am Jasper from the Teamsters. I hope you were having a good day. But i heard you were carting around consumables in an unlicense cart and without a Carting license. I going have to break one of your knee caps.
Thud!

Nice dig at your dm.

In a world without sandwiches, I highly doubt any of those exist...

And even so, I'm covered... I'm a carnie. I can do whatever I want

 

[Tsyr]

I'd have you make a Profession (cook) or Craft (food) check or something in order to do it, but the DC's low, and your bonuses are good...

Nice.

As it so happens, almost all of my characters take ranks in that skill

But I can't imagine slitting a slice of bread takes much cooking skill... Maybe for roasting the beef...

 

[Celebrim]

If some player tried that with a character I'd smile and say, "Hmm... your character must be a genious, so make a DC 20 intelligence check to prove it."

If that worked, I'd say, "Indeed, your character is a genious and in a creative frame of mind, but you must also have the knowledge on how to implement your idea so make a DC 15, Profession (Cook) check."

Only if that worked, would I say, "Congradulations, you've just invented the Jarvis."

If either check failed, I would say, "I think your metagaming, and that the idea is coming from the player's knowledge and not the character's. Sorry, but you are not allowed to try to invent the Sandwich, nor may you recheck your rolls until an appropriate oppurtunity occurs in a game session."

Of course, for more complex ideas, the DC's would go up.

 

[I'm A Banana]

I guess it would've taken that cooking knowledge, though...like, to invent a new architecture style, or to make this wonderful invention known as the Chair, or things like that...just a little something to demonstrate that this is in-character knowledge.

But, yeah, very clever. This is why everything in my world already exists somewhere....

 

[Tsyr]

If some player tried that with a character I'd smile and say, "Hmm... your character must be a genious, so make a DC 20 intelligence check to prove it."

You think only geniouses invent things?

Heck yeah I'm metagaming, but I don't care for something like this

 

[Tewligan]

Editted for some atrocious spelling!

Heh - I'm not usually the sort of jerk who points out spelling mistakes, but this line made me chuckle.

 

[Celebrim]

"Heck yeah I'm metagaming, but I don't care for something like this"

?!?!?!?

No, that's not enough emphasis.

?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

If a PC pulled a stunt like this just to grab attention for himself and then he had the temerity to tell me that he didn't care for me as DM doing my job, I'd tell him fine, go find a DM that lets you metagame to your hearts content - I'm here to arbitrate a roleplaying game not facilitate your personal ego trip. If you want to metagame and get in contests with me, then I don't have time to waste on you so get off my table, because there is a game going on and you are getting in the way.

"You think only geniouses invent things?"

No, of course not. If I thought _only_ geniouses invented things I would have made the DC significantly higher than 20 to rule ordinary people out of the equation. I think alot of things are invented by accident, or by mistake, or by dumb luck, but it certainly helps to be a genious. I think most things are invented by creative, intelligent, thoughtful, knowledgable people. I think very little of the RP skills of a player with a 6 intelligence character (or even an average int character) who thinks he should be allowed to go around inventing things just because his player can describe how they are done. It took 70,000 years of people plenty smarter than you before anyone thought to invent something obvious like _hay_, so don't try to tell me that you should be allowed to go around inventing everything invented in the last 1000 years just because they seem obvious to the player.

Look, as far as a character inventing sandwiches goes, I find it slightly amusing and creative enough to somewhat excuse the metagaming. But its still metagaming, not roleplaying and I'm not going to let you set precedents which I then have to overrule by DM fiat. I have a responcibility to all of my players to be fair and impartial. If you decide, "Heck, I'm going to invent a sandwich even though I know it is metagaming", and I say, "Ok, no harm in that.", then what happens when Joe Gamer wants to invent blue jeans, simple compound interest, algebra, the assembly line, the bicycle, or the telescope? What am I so supposed to say, "Heh, I let Tysr invent sandwiches, but inventing sweetened condenced milk is just out of the question." Why? The two things aren't really all that different. Am I just supposed to let anyone invent anything he can describe the steps to in detail? What kind of DM's rule is "I'll let you invent things if I think it is harmless, but if it is going to radically alter the culture of my world THEN I'll crack down on your metagaming." That's called 'railroading'. DM's don't decide what players do. They decide what players can do.

You want to jump over the chasm, fine, make a DC 35 jump check. You want to convince the gaurd to let you in the gate after nightfall, fine, tell me what your story is and make a DC 25 bluff or diplomacy check. You want to invent something that doesn't exist, fine, make an idea roll and a profession or craft check. If you don't like my rulings, fine, no one is making you play.