Desh-Rae-Halra
Explorer
Hi Gang,
The Numenera Kickstarter is winding down, and in a tiredness invoked delirium I imagined myself writing a crazy Promo Ad for it. Below is the result:
(You could probably read less and learn more by just going to the damn site).
Numenera: A new roleplaying game from Monte Cook by Monte Cook — Kickstarter
I am in no way associated with Monte Cook or Numenera, I just think this is a great project and will be next year's Object of Desire, like Ptolus was:
Lights, Camera, ACTION!
[Narrator]Hey gamers,
Have you found yourself browsing the net or your local friendly local gaming store only to find that every game you like is getting a new edition while you are still happy with the old one? <Show image of B&B (Barbarians & Battles Axes) 10th Edition>
Do you notice that even the “new” games are just a rehash of a sub-genre that has been beaten to death? Ever wish you could discover that RPG that takes gaming to a whole new level? Well…
[R.Lee Ermey clip/wav file from Full Metal Jacket plays] “ Reveille! Reveille! Reveille!Drop your cocks and grab your socks”
[Narrator]We’ve got a game for you that is going to blow your mind! Its called Numenera
<show phonetic pronunciation on screen with 2nd voice pronouncing it>
[Narrator]Yes, Numenera and its being written by none other than Monte Cook.
[2nd voice] Who?
[Narrator] Monte Cook! Remember back at Gencon in 2007 when people were getting blissful hernias from carrying that big Ptolus book around? Remember how bad-ass that was, and when you played it, you found yourself wishing you had been in that campaign world as Monte was building it?!
Well that kind of opportunity is here right now my friends! You want in on the ground floor of his new science-fantasy game set in the distant future? Well the elevator doors to Nirvana have opened and we’re inviting you in, but they doors wont stay open long!
Get over to Kickstarter right now! YOU are going to get the deal of a lifetime!!
You are going to get the Numenera Core book. 416 pages chock full of gaming goodness! Its got the rules system, GM advice, monsters, NPCs, ideas and adventure material. And that’s all you need. No more having to buy 3 books in order to get the game going, Numenera is all-in-one!
But we are not stopping there. For your $60 pledge, you are going to get a PDF selection that will blow your mind! Not one, not two, but THREE, yes THREE adventures AND a 64 page Players Guide!
Still on the fence?
{Insert clip: R. Lee Ermey/ FMJ “Did your mother have any children that lived?”}
FINE! Need more monsters? Monte will throw that in too. 160 more pages of monsters in the Ninth World Bestiary PDF for FREE! Its got crazy monsters like the Iron Wind: A flying carnivorous cybernetic God-fart that will put terror back into the power-gamer of your group!
YOU WANT MORE?? YOU GOT MORE!!!
Monte will throw in Sir Arthur’s Compendium, another 160 pages of tech goodies that will mesmerize even the most greedy Loot Vacuum player in your party! And for the science nerd in you, it’s stuffed full of physics, quantum mechanics, bioengineering, ITS GOT ALL THE STUFF YOU WANT TO READ ABOUT as it relates to the world of Numenera.
BUT WAIT, THERES MORE! The Monte Cook engine of generosity doesn’t stop there. To make the trifecta of supplements, Monte is throwing in the PDF of the Ninth World Guidebook!!!
So lets recap! For $60 you get
- The 416 page Hardback Core Book in print
- The 64 page Player’s guide (PDF)
- THREE 32 page adventures (PDF)
- The 160 page Bestiary (PDF)
- Sir Arthur’s Compendium, another 160 pages (PDF)
- And the 200 page Ninth World Guidebook PDFs
And as an added bonus, EVERYTHING IS IN FULL COLOR!
Are you not convinced that this is the absolute deal of the century?
{Insert R. Lee Ermey/FMJ clip “What is your major malfunction numbnuts?!!}
On top of all this, you are also going to get the PDFs for the GM Screen, PDFs for 3-D Paper Fold-Up Terrain, and PDF’s of the Cipher, XP, and Creature cards to enhance your game play experience.: That adds up to
- The 120 card Cypher deck, enabling you to create tech on the fly
- 30 XP cards
- The 100 card Creature Deck, like an impromptu monster generator at your fingertips
ALL FOR $60!!!!!
Plus, Monte will throw in an app for iOS, Android, or PC. Why?
Ever want to create a character while you are waiting in a long line, like at the Secretary of State to renew your driver’s license, or at the Post Office, especially around the holidays, or even while taking a dump?
YOU GOT IT! And this app will not only make characters but it has the rule set built in!
Hell, we will even put your name in the back of the Core book
We are nowhere near done yet! Strap yourself in because we have Add-Ons Galore!
Into card games but don’t want to get sucked into another collectible card power-creep money vacuum? Well Monte has teamed up with AEG to bring you:
Thunderstone: Numenera style! {Insert Thunderstone details}
We got T-Shirts, we have a special set of Numenera dice, not to mention that if you want print copies of any of those Full Color PDFs, its just an Add-On Fee to your pledge!
Now remember, shipping is extra if you are outside North America* <Insert disclaimer about Thunderstone having free shipping only in the US>
The Numenera Core Book will be shipping out next summer, and then almost every month you will get a new supplement delivered to you (electronically or shipped, depending on you choice of PDF or Print materials).
So you may be asking yourself “how do I know this will be a great product”?
A. Its Monte f**king Cook. Look at his track record of success and innovation in the gaming industry!
B. But if you are a Doubting Thomas, if he doesn’t pull through (no pressure Monte) and it sucks, you can be guaranteed that an angry internet horde will descend on every forum and berate him mercilessly, his rpg career will be over, and he will end up foaming triple upside-down caramel lattes for a living.
And I realize we didn’t even mention the ART of Numenera. This is Kieran Yanner we are talking about – so you will NOT get a product that looks like it came from a high-school sketch that was colored in with MS Paint or just crayons because the artist was lazy. THIS IS ART YOU WILL WANT TO SHOW YOUR FRIENDS!.
Oh, and Monte is throwing in a Full Color Map of Numenera, illustrated by none other than Christopher West.
You want a Deluxe version of the Core book. We’ve got Deluxe. This book redefines DELUXE with {enter Deluxe product description}
But this is Kickstarter, and time is running out. In fact, you have until just after lunch on Monday to get on board. Don’t miss out! Pledge today!
The Numenera Kickstarter is winding down, and in a tiredness invoked delirium I imagined myself writing a crazy Promo Ad for it. Below is the result:
(You could probably read less and learn more by just going to the damn site).
Numenera: A new roleplaying game from Monte Cook by Monte Cook — Kickstarter
I am in no way associated with Monte Cook or Numenera, I just think this is a great project and will be next year's Object of Desire, like Ptolus was:
Lights, Camera, ACTION!
[Narrator]Hey gamers,
Have you found yourself browsing the net or your local friendly local gaming store only to find that every game you like is getting a new edition while you are still happy with the old one? <Show image of B&B (Barbarians & Battles Axes) 10th Edition>
Do you notice that even the “new” games are just a rehash of a sub-genre that has been beaten to death? Ever wish you could discover that RPG that takes gaming to a whole new level? Well…
[R.Lee Ermey clip/wav file from Full Metal Jacket plays] “ Reveille! Reveille! Reveille!Drop your cocks and grab your socks”
[Narrator]We’ve got a game for you that is going to blow your mind! Its called Numenera
<show phonetic pronunciation on screen with 2nd voice pronouncing it>
[Narrator]Yes, Numenera and its being written by none other than Monte Cook.
[2nd voice] Who?
[Narrator] Monte Cook! Remember back at Gencon in 2007 when people were getting blissful hernias from carrying that big Ptolus book around? Remember how bad-ass that was, and when you played it, you found yourself wishing you had been in that campaign world as Monte was building it?!
Well that kind of opportunity is here right now my friends! You want in on the ground floor of his new science-fantasy game set in the distant future? Well the elevator doors to Nirvana have opened and we’re inviting you in, but they doors wont stay open long!
Get over to Kickstarter right now! YOU are going to get the deal of a lifetime!!
You are going to get the Numenera Core book. 416 pages chock full of gaming goodness! Its got the rules system, GM advice, monsters, NPCs, ideas and adventure material. And that’s all you need. No more having to buy 3 books in order to get the game going, Numenera is all-in-one!
But we are not stopping there. For your $60 pledge, you are going to get a PDF selection that will blow your mind! Not one, not two, but THREE, yes THREE adventures AND a 64 page Players Guide!
Still on the fence?
{Insert clip: R. Lee Ermey/ FMJ “Did your mother have any children that lived?”}
FINE! Need more monsters? Monte will throw that in too. 160 more pages of monsters in the Ninth World Bestiary PDF for FREE! Its got crazy monsters like the Iron Wind: A flying carnivorous cybernetic God-fart that will put terror back into the power-gamer of your group!
YOU WANT MORE?? YOU GOT MORE!!!
Monte will throw in Sir Arthur’s Compendium, another 160 pages of tech goodies that will mesmerize even the most greedy Loot Vacuum player in your party! And for the science nerd in you, it’s stuffed full of physics, quantum mechanics, bioengineering, ITS GOT ALL THE STUFF YOU WANT TO READ ABOUT as it relates to the world of Numenera.
BUT WAIT, THERES MORE! The Monte Cook engine of generosity doesn’t stop there. To make the trifecta of supplements, Monte is throwing in the PDF of the Ninth World Guidebook!!!
So lets recap! For $60 you get
- The 416 page Hardback Core Book in print
- The 64 page Player’s guide (PDF)
- THREE 32 page adventures (PDF)
- The 160 page Bestiary (PDF)
- Sir Arthur’s Compendium, another 160 pages (PDF)
- And the 200 page Ninth World Guidebook PDFs
And as an added bonus, EVERYTHING IS IN FULL COLOR!
Are you not convinced that this is the absolute deal of the century?
{Insert R. Lee Ermey/FMJ clip “What is your major malfunction numbnuts?!!}
On top of all this, you are also going to get the PDFs for the GM Screen, PDFs for 3-D Paper Fold-Up Terrain, and PDF’s of the Cipher, XP, and Creature cards to enhance your game play experience.: That adds up to
- The 120 card Cypher deck, enabling you to create tech on the fly
- 30 XP cards
- The 100 card Creature Deck, like an impromptu monster generator at your fingertips
ALL FOR $60!!!!!
Plus, Monte will throw in an app for iOS, Android, or PC. Why?
Ever want to create a character while you are waiting in a long line, like at the Secretary of State to renew your driver’s license, or at the Post Office, especially around the holidays, or even while taking a dump?
YOU GOT IT! And this app will not only make characters but it has the rule set built in!
Hell, we will even put your name in the back of the Core book
We are nowhere near done yet! Strap yourself in because we have Add-Ons Galore!
Into card games but don’t want to get sucked into another collectible card power-creep money vacuum? Well Monte has teamed up with AEG to bring you:
Thunderstone: Numenera style! {Insert Thunderstone details}
We got T-Shirts, we have a special set of Numenera dice, not to mention that if you want print copies of any of those Full Color PDFs, its just an Add-On Fee to your pledge!
Now remember, shipping is extra if you are outside North America* <Insert disclaimer about Thunderstone having free shipping only in the US>
The Numenera Core Book will be shipping out next summer, and then almost every month you will get a new supplement delivered to you (electronically or shipped, depending on you choice of PDF or Print materials).
So you may be asking yourself “how do I know this will be a great product”?
A. Its Monte f**king Cook. Look at his track record of success and innovation in the gaming industry!
B. But if you are a Doubting Thomas, if he doesn’t pull through (no pressure Monte) and it sucks, you can be guaranteed that an angry internet horde will descend on every forum and berate him mercilessly, his rpg career will be over, and he will end up foaming triple upside-down caramel lattes for a living.
And I realize we didn’t even mention the ART of Numenera. This is Kieran Yanner we are talking about – so you will NOT get a product that looks like it came from a high-school sketch that was colored in with MS Paint or just crayons because the artist was lazy. THIS IS ART YOU WILL WANT TO SHOW YOUR FRIENDS!.
Oh, and Monte is throwing in a Full Color Map of Numenera, illustrated by none other than Christopher West.
You want a Deluxe version of the Core book. We’ve got Deluxe. This book redefines DELUXE with {enter Deluxe product description}
But this is Kickstarter, and time is running out. In fact, you have until just after lunch on Monday to get on board. Don’t miss out! Pledge today!
Last edited:
