The Confessional...my roleplay sins

[Ravilah]

So I need to confess...I am not a good roleplayer.

I'm a pretty good GM; I've been told so by many people. But I can see now that I am a terrible player. When I am the GM, I am in control at all times, there are no complete unknowns, and no character I have made can truly die unless I allow it to be so. So when I am a player, I hate my loss of power...and so I become a power gamer, grasping for more XP, haggling (constantly haggling) for more powerful items, and repeatedly checking the rules to make sure my GM is not cheating me.

I get sullen and pouty when my dice rolls come up short more than once in a row. I snidely suggest that the GM is playing favorites if other players get rewards that I don't. My engagement with the story is limited because I always want to be off getting more XP, weapons, or treasure.

I can hear myself doing these things, and yet I can't seem to stop myself. If I were one of my own players, I'd have punched me in the face (or had my character eaten by a grue) ages ago. So I repent of my tabletop sins, and will endeavor to hereafter roleplay with respect for my GM and the other players! Amen.

Oh. . . and also there was this time when the Cloud Giant actually rolled a 19 and I lied and told the players it was a crit. Really sorry.


Well, I feel better now that's off my chest. The confessional is now open for anyone else that needs roleplay absolution.

 

[Gilladian]

I've had a few problems being the non-dm player; I want the control, but where I fall down as a player is that I want to control the STORY. I am always trying to find ways to control what's going to happen next! I want to be in every scene. I want to be important! I want to lead the way, because naturally nobody can do it better than me!

I have to bite my tongue and not hog the limelite when I'm a player; I'm so used to being in every scene as the DM. It's a terrible disease to have.

 

[pogre]

I used to be the same way. 20 years ago I could have made exactly the same post.

Try viewing playing as a tool to make you a better DM. These days I enjoy playing from time-to-time. Playing is good for me, because it forces me to see things from the other side of the screen. I try to be a great player instead of focusing on the fact that I am not DMing. I also try to see what is working and what is not for the DM. It's been pretty helpful - it's all about attitude.

 

[Gilladian]

Oh, yeah. I need to play occasionally, and it is good for me. I did rather exaggerate my failings, I think; one problem is that I only get to play online, and we usually play something that is more or less a cooperatively-dmed game, so I'm only half-playing, half-dming... not a good way to learn to step back and relax! Just recently, though, my brother decided to run his (online) pirate-themed 4e game for us. And since I refuse to DM 4e (long story), I'm "just" a player. We'll see how long that lasts!