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<blockquote data-quote="Villano" data-source="post: 1259953" data-attributes="member: 505"><p><strong>Homer:</strong> Oh, everything's too damned expensive these days. This Bible cost 15 bucks! And talk about a preachy book! Everybody's a sinner! Well, except this guy. </p><p></p><p><strong>Bart:</strong> This sucks!</p><p><strong>Marge:</strong> Bart! Where did you learn such language?!</p><p><strong>Homer</strong> (on the telephone): Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked a suck! </p><p></p><p><strong>Homer:</strong> You know, Moe, my mom once said something that really stuck with me. She said, "Homer, you're a big disappointment", and God bless her soul, she was really onto something.</p><p></p><p><strong>Homer:</strong> They have the Internet on computers, now?</p><p></p><p><strong>Homer</strong> (helping Bart break off a fictional date he set for his teacher): Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You.</p><p></p><p><strong>Homer:</strong> Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?</p><p></p><p><strong>Homer:</strong> Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such. </p><p></p><p><strong>Homer:</strong> Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races. </p><p></p><p><strong>Homer:</strong> I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here. </p><p></p><p><strong>Homer:</strong> English - Who needs that? I'm never going to England!</p><p></p><p><strong>Homer:</strong> What now on the what what?</p><p></p><p><strong>Lenny</strong> (after being hit in the eye with pudding): My eye! I'm not supposed to get pudding in it! </p><p></p><p><strong>Krabappel:</strong> Embiggens? I'd never heard of that word until I moved to Springfield. </p><p><strong>Hoover:</strong> I don't know why, its a perfectly cromulent word.</p><p></p><p><strong>Cop:</strong> Did you hold a grudge against Mr. Burns? </p><p><strong>Moe:</strong> No. *bzzz* All right, maybe I did. But I didn't shoot him. *ding *</p><p><strong>Cop:</strong> Checks out. Okay, sir, you're free to go. </p><p><strong>Moe:</strong> Good, 'cuz I got a hot date tonight. *bzzz* A date. *bzzz* Dinner with friends. *bzzz* Dinner alone. *bzzz* Watching TV alone. *bzzz* ALL RIGHT! I'm going to sit at home and ogle the ladies in the Victoria's Secret catalogue. *bzzz* (hangs head in shame) Sears catalogue. *ding* Now would you unhook this already, please?! I don't deserve this kind of shabby treatment. *bzzz*</p><p></p><p><strong>Mulder:</strong> Look at this Scully -- there's been another U.F.O. sighting in the heartland of America. We have to get there right away. </p><p><strong>Scully:</strong> Well, gee, Mulder, there's also this shipment of illegal drugs and weapons coming into New Jersey tonight. </p><p><strong>Mulder:</strong> I <em>hardly</em> think the F.B.I. is concerned with matters like that.</p><p></p><p><strong>Lisa:</strong> Wait! Doesn't the Bible say, "Judge not, lest ye be judged"?</p><p><strong>Wiggum:</strong> The Bible says a lot of things. </p><p></p><p><strong>Bart</strong> (crank calling Moe): Is Homer there? Last name "Sexual"?</p><p></p><p><strong>Bart:</strong> Dad, why did you bring me to a gay steel mill?</p><p><strong>Homer</strong> (sobbing): I don't know!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Villano, post: 1259953, member: 505"] [B]Homer:[/B] Oh, everything's too damned expensive these days. This Bible cost 15 bucks! And talk about a preachy book! Everybody's a sinner! Well, except this guy. [B]Bart:[/B] This sucks! [B]Marge:[/B] Bart! Where did you learn such language?! [B]Homer[/B] (on the telephone): Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked a suck! [B]Homer:[/B] You know, Moe, my mom once said something that really stuck with me. She said, "Homer, you're a big disappointment", and God bless her soul, she was really onto something. [B]Homer:[/B] They have the Internet on computers, now? [B]Homer[/B] (helping Bart break off a fictional date he set for his teacher): Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You. [B]Homer:[/B] Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream? [B]Homer:[/B] Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such. [B]Homer:[/B] Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races. [B]Homer:[/B] I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here. [B]Homer:[/B] English - Who needs that? I'm never going to England! [B]Homer:[/B] What now on the what what? [B]Lenny[/B] (after being hit in the eye with pudding): My eye! I'm not supposed to get pudding in it! [B]Krabappel:[/B] Embiggens? I'd never heard of that word until I moved to Springfield. [B]Hoover:[/B] I don't know why, its a perfectly cromulent word. [B]Cop:[/B] Did you hold a grudge against Mr. Burns? [B]Moe:[/B] No. *bzzz* All right, maybe I did. But I didn't shoot him. *ding * [B]Cop:[/B] Checks out. Okay, sir, you're free to go. [B]Moe:[/B] Good, 'cuz I got a hot date tonight. *bzzz* A date. *bzzz* Dinner with friends. *bzzz* Dinner alone. *bzzz* Watching TV alone. *bzzz* ALL RIGHT! I'm going to sit at home and ogle the ladies in the Victoria's Secret catalogue. *bzzz* (hangs head in shame) Sears catalogue. *ding* Now would you unhook this already, please?! I don't deserve this kind of shabby treatment. *bzzz* [B]Mulder:[/B] Look at this Scully -- there's been another U.F.O. sighting in the heartland of America. We have to get there right away. [B]Scully:[/B] Well, gee, Mulder, there's also this shipment of illegal drugs and weapons coming into New Jersey tonight. [B]Mulder:[/B] I [I]hardly[/I] think the F.B.I. is concerned with matters like that. [B]Lisa:[/B] Wait! Doesn't the Bible say, "Judge not, lest ye be judged"? [B]Wiggum:[/B] The Bible says a lot of things. [B]Bart[/B] (crank calling Moe): Is Homer there? Last name "Sexual"? [B]Bart:[/B] Dad, why did you bring me to a gay steel mill? [B]Homer[/B] (sobbing): I don't know! [/QUOTE]
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