The "Favorite Simpsons Quotes" thread.

[Dark Jezter]

Over nearly the last decade and a half, the Simpsons have become a major part of our culture. From "D'oh" being added to the dictionary, to being able to mention "pulling a Homer" and having everyone know what you are talking about. So, I started up this thread for ENWorld Simpson fans to contribute their favorite quotes from this classic sitcom.

I'll start:

Homer: "We played Dungeons & Dragons for three hours. Then I was slain by an elf."

Comic Book Guy: "Last night's Itchy & Scratchy was, without a doubt, the worst episode ever. Rest assured I was on the internet within minutes registering my disgust throughout the world."
Bart: "Hey, I know it wasn't great, but what right do you have to complain?"
Comic Book Guy: "As a loyal viewer, I feel they owe me."
Bart: "What? They've given you thousands of hours of entertainment for free. What could they possibly owe you? I mean, if anything, you owe them."
Comic Book Guy: "Worst episode ever."

Comic Book Guy: *reading comic book while walking down street* "But Aquaman, you can't marry a woman without gills; you're from two different worlds."
*looks up and sees missile heading right for him*
Comic Book Guy: "Oh, I've wasted my life."

Homer: *explaining classic Rock & Roll to his children* "...Now, Grand Funk Railroad paved the way for Jefferson Airplane, which cleared the way for Jefferson Starship. The stage was now set for the Alan Parsons Project, which I believe was some sort of hovercraft..."

*Homer wrecks his car and is trying to explain how it happened to an Insurance Agent.*
Insurance Guy: Now, before I give you the check, one more question. This place "Moe's'' you left just before the accident. This is a business of some kind?
Homer Brain: "Don't tell him you were at a bar! Awww... but what other buisinesses are open at night?"
Homer: "Uhhh... I was at a pornography store, I was buying pornography."
Homer's Brain: "Heh heh... I would've never thought of that!"

 

[Tsyr]

Abe: The metric system the tool of the devil! My car gets 40 rods to the hodshead, and that's the way I likes it!

 

[Piratecat]

"You did it, Nibbles! Now, chew through my ball sack."

"My cat's breath smells like cat food."

 

[Maerdwyn]

Homer: Why do you mock me, o Lord?
Marge: Homer, that's not God. That's just a waffle that Bart tossed up there. (she scrapes it down with a broom)
Homer: Oh, Lord, I know I should not eat Thee, but...mmm...sacrilicious.

 

[Ankh-Morpork Guard]

Homer: Why do you mock me, o Lord?
Marge: Homer, that's not God. That's just a waffle that Bart tossed up there. (she scrapes it down with a broom)
Homer: Oh, Lord, I know I should not eat Thee, but...mmm...sacrilicious.

That.Is.Great.

"I bent my Wookie!"

 

[Mark]

"They have the Internet on computers, now?"

 

[Psychotic Dreamer]

I'm not sure if I have these quotes right, but:

"I think my bed wet me."
"Tastes like burning."
"Me fail English? That's unpossible!"
"That's where I saw the leprechaun! He told me to burn things."
"Hi Principal Skinner! Hi Super Nintendo Chalmers!"

You know I'm noticing a theme in the quotes I like. There are so many. This is one of my favorites from Homer:

"I am so smart! I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T! I mean, S-M-A-R-T!"


Anthony Kiedis: You told our agent this place holds 30,000 people!
Moe: It does. We had 30,000 here last night. Now play! The audience is getting restless!
Barney: [flicking a lighter] We want chilly-willy! We want chilly-willy!

 

[Storminator]

Abe: The metric system the tool of the devil! My car gets 40 rods to the hodshead, and that's the way I likes it!

Mr Burns: "Damn these metric booby traps!"

Stonecutter song: "Who keeps the metric system down? We do!"

PS

 

[Tarrasque Wrangler]

Homer (atop pile of sugar): In America, first you get the sugar. Then you get the power. Then you get the women.

 

[EricNoah]

Wiggum: "Where's your messiah now, Flanders?"

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Burns at a ballet: "Far too much dancing, not nearly enough prancing!"

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Homer, defending his crazy "sugar scheme": 'Never, Marge! Never. I can't live the button-down life like you. I want it all: the terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles. Sure, I might offend a few of the bluenoses with my cocky stride and musky odor. Oh, I'll never be the darling of the so called "City Fathers" who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about "What's to be done with this Homer Simpson?"'