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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Chaosmancer" data-source="post: 8717843" data-attributes="member: 6801228">No, I get that part of it. But it is the follow-up.Do I avoid that tone of voice in the future?Do I avoid any semblance of spider torture?Do I avoid spiders?Do I avoid the Duke?What if it was something else entirely?I don't know what is needed to not make my player that uncomfortable again. But, in the context of the X-Card, I'm also not supposed to ask them for that clarification, because it could come across as interrogating them about things they would rather not talk about.I love the concept of the X-card in theory, and I fully support its use, and yes you just stop and time skip to the next scene, but I never want my players to feel uncomfortable, and I don't know how to use the X-card in a way that prevents me from making the same mistake twice, which is what I think the guy who was talking about S&M was getting at. If a safeword is used, you need to know why it was used, so you can avoid that same mistake in the future. Otherwise you are just going to make them uncomfortable repeatedly as you stumble around.</blockquote>