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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Gradine" data-source="post: 9159329" data-attributes="member: 57112">So here's the thing; dehumanizing people sucks. A lot. We are watching right now on the global stage the kind of tragedy that unfolds when a people are systematically dehumanized for decades. It's less dangerous in the individual sense, but still not a really great precedent to set, you know?That said, people of LeNasa's caliber (that is, bigots) cannot be tolerated. But how can we do that in a culture that highlights the eminence of freedom of speech? The freedom of speech is our most valuable and sacred right; it allows us to say what we like (although with exceptions) without fear of legal repercussions. It's hopeless, right?Nah fam, there's so many different kinds of repercussions to enact. In a world where the law cannot uphold Popper's Paradox (something he himself specifically never advocated for, I'll add!), there is so, so much more room for us to fill in the gaps ourselves. There ain't no constitutional protections against the social consequences of anything. And that's a blessing.I'm not saying we call bigots subhuman, to fully dehumanize them; that's essentially trying to use a tool they've mastered against them, and that's never going to work. But we can, and I would argue morally must, turn our backs on them. Close our spaces to them. Give them no shelter, no comfort, no peace. It should not be easy to be a bigot. We kind of have to make it hard as hell for them.There's a couple of common arguments against this approach. One is the whole "so there's nothing they can do to be forgiven" refrain, which is patently false; folks who sincerely apologize for the harm they've caused and show signs of making things right are welcomed back into broader communities all the time. That's restorative justice, son, and it works like gangbusters. You don't really see it much because the higher-profile cases tend to feature a lot of either doubling-down or issuing bland non-apologies (usually along the lines of "sorry you were offended...") followed by refusing to ever bring it up again. You know, the Dinehart and Ernie approaches, respectively, to give a relevant example of both. We also got an example of the welcoming back in the case of Michael Hovermale; true, you can say his heel-face-turn didn't exactly stick, but you can't argue he wasn't welcomed back into the community after full-throatingly condemning the bigotry of his former colleagues.Then there's the argument that if you shut people off from healthy community you only drive them further into those that would radicalize their bigotry. Is there truth to that? Sure. There are also folks doing incredibly patient and amazing work doing outreach to de-radicalize people sucked into those communities, and that's to their credit. But you can't expect that level of commitment out of everybody. And if this sad ending to Ernie's tale has taught us anything, it's that when the chips are down, bigots aren't going to have your back. And that's when you can ask... was it worth it? That's when you can open the door, and try to coax them back in. For many it will be too late. But that's kind of the point too. Dying, friendless and alone, is the ultimate cost of embracing bigotry.Look, everyone involved in this whole sordid NuTSR/Wonderfilled shenangins, your Ernies and Lanasas, your Dineharts, your Leasons and Wards, your Dave Johnsons by any other name, alive or allegedly dead, have either directly engaged in open homophobia, transphobia, and/or racism, or are completely comfortable working alongside and being willingly associated with homophobes, transphobes, and racists. Which is, honestly, a distinction without a difference. Whatever fate they ultimately receive is either going to be exactly what they deserve or, more likely, far far better than what they deserve. Can they earn back any respect they may have at one point had from the community? Sure, though none of them have exactly been champing at the bit for a chance to redeem themselves. Once again, it genuinely worked for Hovermale (at least until whatever the hell ended up happening with him happened, but that was an unforced error on his part). Some will have substantially more work to do than others; Leason and Ward probably will end up having the most benefit of the doubt if they ever bother to try to distance themselves from the rest of these cretins.Can they earn forgiveness? Depends. As much as a person can do to make good of the damage they've done through any kind of restorative justice, nobody is actually owed forgiveness. Many of the people I've named have said incredibly disparaging things about people like me (and in one case, actually directly to me, leading to my twitter DMs being temporarily a flood of slurs and threats), or are perfectly happy and comfortable working alongside with these folks who are quite publicly saying and doing these things, so I'm not personally inclined towards forgiving any of them. But I'd never say never. And that's much different from being comfortable with them welcomed back after sincerely apologizing and working towards correcting the damage they've caused. That's always a win. But often, a person really has to hit rock bottom before they can see that that's their only way out.But the one has to come before the other. You don't get redemption without earning it, and until that happens, you don't deserve concern or care or even pity. That's the cost of your choices. That's the cost of the very real harm you've caused others.This has been kind of a rambly post, and I almost certainly ended up not where I thought I was heading. I'm sure I'll be excoriated for being callous towards a real human being who is dying, someone who I'm sure many of us at least used to admire, who many have likely met, and even some who might still consider a friend. But honestly? I'm tired, and my filter has run raw. You try being a part of a community so demonized and demoralized that nearly half of its members have actually attempted to end their own life; a community where people you know and care about are routinely harassed, and stalked, and who die, either by their own hand or another, at a pace you could not even begin to fathom if you weren't actually in it, and see how generous you feel like being in this moment.</blockquote>

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