The Hitchhicker's Guide to the Dungeon

[D-rock]

The wizard did it part II
Dungeon ecology

It has come to the guide's knowledge that in some of the older dungeons that spot the world there was a strange and madening mismatch of creatures living in such a limited space. Although, this seems to defy all reason there would be instances of illithids living next to kobolds, living next to monsorous spiders living next to giants all in their 10X10 foot living spaces. Why the spider didn't just eat the kobolds is open to debate. Why the creatures would just do nothing all day but sit in a small room all there lives is also not understood. It would seem that they would need food or at least a place to go to the bathroom. Sages when confronted with this predicament would ponder for a few minutes and come to the conclusion that "yup it's magic so a wizard must of did it".

 

[D-rock]

The local watering holes

There are strange reports that we have been getting from people concerning palces called "taverns". On the surface this looks like a place where they sell delicious tasting drinks, but that now seems to be a falsehood. After much study it seems that these places exist for the purposes of either 1. being a secret entrence to some long lost sewer/dungeon system. 2. to procure information that is otherwise hard to find. 3. and this is the most important, THE BAR FIGHT. In fact it would seem that every adventurer worth their salt is required to get in at least one good barfight in their lives.

 

[D-rock]

Explosives and wepon depots

It would seem that these places are areas to store a large quantity of explosive material for distribution to people when they need it. This is another strange facet of the universe that is just not true. These places exist for the sole purpose of blowing up to spectatular effect. Some times this cinamatic explosion will have the added benifits of eliminating enimies that were too tough to beat, or hard to see at the time, causing a great distraction where it then becomes easier to sneek into a heavily fortified compound, or causing a hole to oppen up into a previously unknown secret chanmber. So if you happen to be adventuring and come to one of these, just whip a torch, granade, zippo lighter. or whatever you happen to be hauling around at the time that is flamible. Then feel good about it and sit back and watch the show.

 

[Kae'Yoss]

The local watering holes

There are strange reports that we have been getting from people concerning palces called "taverns". On the surface this looks like a place where they sell delicious tasting drinks, but that now seems to be a falsehood. After much study it seems that these places exist for the purposes of either 1. being a secret entrence to some long lost sewer/dungeon system. 2. to procure information that is otherwise hard to find. 3. and this is the most important, THE BAR FIGHT. In fact it would seem that every adventurer worth their salt is required to get in at least one good barfight in their lives.

The newer versions of the Guide also have the following information

The most peculiar function of taverns is that they spawn adventuring groups. Every adventurer feels the urge to visit a certain tavern, team up with people they have never seen before (and would never work or even talk with in normal circumstances, except maybe in THE BAR FIGHT mentioned above, and then only in short sentences like "have at thee, you dastarde!") and then go on a mission that they received by another patron of said watering hole that is of even more sinister and untrustworthy nature. Sages have come to the conclusion that this must be something anchored deep down into the core of every species in the universe, and are sure that no other than the Overpower Itself has put it there.

The tavern with the record of most adventuring parties spawned is a peculiar location called "Ye Olde Glass of Ale Shoppe" which has spewed forth several millions of adventuring parties of the oddest compositions (paladins working together with thieves, renegade drow rangers working with champions of the elven gods, dwarves working together with anyone else). Noone can agree on the exact location of this tavern and most sages speculate that it exists in many places at once, or maybe nowhere at all. (The truth, of course, is that both speculations are correct).