I don't know what has happened and in truth I don't need to.  Its not of my business however.....
Pain is like anger....once one understands it, it can be used to better one self.  Time and understanding are all that it requires.
and yes.... easier said than done.
The weekend I learned I was dying from cancer I was..... not there.   Then it took a song to regain my focus.  From that moment I took the emotions of why me after all of this and pushed away the despair and now I'm here to annoy everyone daily  

  .
Take time, relax.  It doesn't happen over night but you can build from this.