Readye'en 9, CY 593
5: Our heroes find themselves in a Delicate Situation, or, You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it think.
That morning, with everyone healed, rested and in possession of a full compliment of spells, the guards smugly report a quiet evening. No disturbances at all, sir. Unfortunately, they can't explain the note slipped under the door, which reads:
"Your crew is alive and well. We need to talk. There are two Cloaks in the alley across the street who will take you to the meeting. Elijah says that a sharp tack like you would leave his weapons at home, if he knew what was good for her."
The note is stamped with the Seal of Stoink, a pair of hands crossed over a single coin.
Considering the fact that being weaponless would leave . . . um, . . . nobody without offensive capabilities, the party decides to leave the choppers at the base, and see what these 'Lord's Men' are all about.
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Aside: In a land run by thieves, the biggest, toughest thieves' guild runs the land. The Lord of Stoink is an honorific given to the rogue with the most influence in the city. An honorific that holds with it the writ to 'dispense justice' and set all matters of tariff and tax. A thief can squeeze a shop, a gang can gouge a district, but only the Lord can extort the whole city.
He who dies with the most victims wins.
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The party is met by a pair of disreputable-looking guards who eyeball them for concealed weapons, then look nervous at the fact they can't find any. They warily lead the group to a nearby alleyway, and after delivering a secret knock on a seemingly blank wall, a secret door opens into a long hallway. The hallway is filled by a gray-skinned, yellow fanged half-orc, bristling with arms and armor.
The half-orc looks the party over, and appears nervous at the fact that the party doesn't appear nervous. He leads them to a small antechamber containing exactly one table, four chairs, and three beings. A gaunt, pale human stands near the door, wearing clothes that are remarkable only by being so unremarkable. At the table is a half-elf dressed in bright colors and dripping with jewelry, sitting next to a halfling sporting a carefully coifed mane of hair.
The half elf begins the interview. "Where is the priest."
Heydricus casually pulls up a chair and says, "I don't know what you're talking about. My name is Heydricus, and these are my companions Ren Qi, Gnomer, Ethel, and Prisantha. We're here to retrieve our people."
The halfling leans close to the elf and mutters, "They don't look scared. You assured me they would be scared."
Prisantha chimes in. "If you mean Helthrax, I can explain. You see, it was a clever disguise. Here, I'll show you."
The duo look startled as Prisantha activates her hat of disguise and transforms herself into the visage of the fell priest. The rogue at the door curses and puts a hand to his weapon, but backs away at a signal from the half-elf.
The halfling says "I see. Allow me to introduce myself. I am the Lord of Stoink. The honorific here is My Lord, or if you prefer, Number One."
Heydricus and Prisantha start to explain their disguise, thinking that in this situation, honesty is the best policy. The two thieves listen carefully, occasionally whispering to one another. Things seem to be going well, and the Lord is about to say something when Gnomer jumps on to the table.
"You can't be the Lord, you're too short," he exclaims.
There is a long, uncomfortable silence, lamentably broken by more insults from the gnome. "And not a great looking guy either. Whew! You remind me of a horse I once owned, but I won't say which end of him!"
Heydricus attempts to break in and silence the cleric, but the damage has been done.
"No one talks to me that way," the Lord says. He gets up to leave the room glancing at the half-elf "You know what to do."
The half elf watches his master leave and whispers "There is no need for bloodshed, but you have to leave now."
"Not without my companions," Heydricus replies, tensing his spell-casting hand. Prisantha glances about for the most likely feeblemind target, and Ren-Qi cracks her neck meaningfully, straightening her shoulders and shifting her weight onto the balls of her feet. Ethel begins rummaging through her handbag for spell components.
The half-elf glances nervously at the party, and then whispers into Heydricus' ear. "Your friends are safe, and have been healed. You can't fight your way out of here. Meet me at the Loaded Dice tomorrow at noon."
There is an almost pleading tone to the half-elf's command, and after a moment's reflection Heydricus stonily agrees.
Score one for diplomacy.
The next day, Heydricus finds the half-elf sitting at a table outside the Loaded Dice, which despite the early hour, and its discouraging name, is filled with gamblers of all sorts. The half elf sunnily orders Heydricus the Blooded Veal, a house specialty he hastens to add.
Heydricus is in no mood for small talk, so they settle their business before the veal arrives. Elijah and the lads will be returned to the party before sundown. The Lord was primarily concerned that a powerful priest of Iuz, rumored to be in line for membership in the Lesser Boneheart, then rumored to be dead, had arrived in Stoink, consulting with a known psychopath. As far as the Fisters go, of course the Lord knows they've been enslaving citizens, but what do you want him to do about it? Weaken his forces fighting barbarians so that he can loose the city to another gang? The Lord has been covering up for the Fisters, in order to save face. As long as no one knows they're acting with impunity, they're not really acting with impunity, get it? The Lord was overjoyed to hear that the party sent so many Fisters to their shallow plots. More power to 'em, they almost got a medal.
After the fiasco with Gnomer, a hasty council was convened, and the Lord of Stoink was finally convinced that Heydricus and his group were worth more alive than dead, if they continued to assault the Stonefist stronghold.
Heydricus assures the half-elf that he intends to do just that, and bids him a good day, without touching his food.
True to their word, the Lord's Gang releases Elijah and the lads well before sundown. The party decides that no more time should be wasted, and moves toward the Stonefisters' stronghold to finish the job.
They find the Men of the Fist lying in wait for them; their severely depleted numbers entrenched in the extensive tunnels beneath the building.
The battle takes place in a large hall accessed by a pair of stairwells. The fighting is furious, and within a few seconds all Chaos breaks loose: Stonefisters supported by ettins charge from either stairwell, up into the room at large.
Prisantha has a field day disrupting the Men of the Fist's ranks. A second giant barbarian manages to reach the top of the northernmost stairs, but is swiftly reduced to a mewling, drooling, feebleminded state of anxiety, while a group of confused barbarians alternately stare into space or chop him into bits.
Gnomer staves off the depredations of four dire bear skeletons, cleverly buried just beneath the floor near the entrance. His positive energy burst sends the undead monstrosities fleeing into the Stoink night, where they can do no harm. (Um, to the party, that is.)
Ethel and Prisantha find themselves cornered by a handful of enraged barbarians, but manage to use defensive magic to escape. In the end, an ettin, a giant, a half-score of barbarians, four dire bear skeletons and a real live dire bear aren't enough to protect the Priest of Usul, and his plan to 'free the brothers' meets the cutting edge of Heydricus' sword, with gruesome results.
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Next: Their 'mission' completed, the Liberators are visiting Stoink on borrowed time. How will the Lord treat them now that they are No Longer Useful? What could an accountant possibly have to contribute in this nest of thieves?