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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Harzel" data-source="post: 7892558" data-attributes="member: 6857506">So what must be noted in these regards is that while there is no limit on the number of grognard initiates and all are welcome, there can be only 1,000,000 Grognards.  At such time as a would-be Grognard attains ossification points sufficient to advance him, her, or them to Grognard, the rank of Grognard is attained only:<ol> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">If there are currently fewer than 1,000,000 other Grognards, or</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">The would-be Grognard bests one of the 1,000,000 current Grognards in a Grumbling Contest.</li> </ol>This process is repeated with respect to becoming one of the 10,000 permitted Old Grognards, excepting that there the test is a Shouting Match, and with respect to becoming one of the 100 Arch Grognards in which case the competition is the Bladder Control Challenge.Should an Arch Grognard wish to become the unique Exalted Great Grognard, the challenger must first locate the current title holder in the umpteenth level of their dungeon.  If the challenger can thus reach the Exalted, there then commences the Trial of Tables. Each shall have 1 hour to construct a collection of d100 tables to cover all aspects of their lives, at which point both shall commence rolling percentile dice and taking the indicated actions.  The loser is the contestant who first either a) dies to unlucky rolls, or b) becomes Too Grumpy to Continue, or c) forgets that there is some sort of contest going on.If the challenger loses (and lives), they must retreat in shame to their abode, where they will be subject to 1 year and 1 day of younger people playing D&D on their lawn, having fun by mostly ignoring the rules.  If the current Exalted loses, but is still, for the moment, upright, they must commit to 3d10 + 5 autograph sessions at cons, with ticket proceeds going to the new Exalted.  If dead, they will be entombed in the Great Hall of Grognards together with their books, dice, mini, and other paraphernalia, excepting that the new Exalted may take a number of bone samples to be encased in d20s and sold on Etsy or used as Kickstarter rewards to fund the construction of their own dungeon.  The samples may be taken from01 - 08 Brain case    09     Upper jaw    10     Lower jaw11-  21  Vertebra22 - 24  Sternum25 - 41  Ribs    42      Scapula43 - 49  Upper arm50 - 58  Lower arm59 - 67  Hand68 - 72  Hip bone73 - 84  Upper leg85 - 91  Lower leg92 - 97  Foot98 - 00  Roll twice on the table, ignoring results of 98-00</blockquote>

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