The Peasants Have A New Sport

[ThatGuyThere]

I would decree it to be illegal, then have my propaganda ministers actively encourage the popularity of the game. Then I would inform the sheriffs to only enforce the law on 'undesirables' (gnomes, bards, gnome bards, half-orc barbarians not already in my service, elves, and fishmongers) and use it as an excuse to beat, imprison and expel them from the county.

I like this one.

I'd consult with my Arcanist, first, and make sure that the "Thousand Years Of Slumber" does not include a "Unless Poked With Sharp Stick" clause.

If there's a chance of widespread disaster, yeah, ban it. Otherwise, see above.

 

[Stormonu]

And then you quietly arrange to split half of it with the dragon. Better to get half of a big pile, and have a happy dragon partner in crime, than some of the likely alternative results.

Until he questions why he isn't getting all of it for his troubles. And then some more to boot.

Trust me, you don't want have to get a "cease and desist (deceased?)" or a physical angiush from this guy's lawyers.

And gods help the peasant who decides poking him in the side "ain't no fun" and goes for an eye or somesuch ("let's make sure they'll be no dragon heirs!")

 

[billd91]

Definitely illegal. The penalty would be a public shaming in the stocks where passersby will be encourage to come up and poke the offender in the side and see how he likes it.

 

[Crazy Jerome]

Until he questions why he isn't getting all of it for his troubles. And then some more to boot.

Oh, it is definitely coming to a bad end for someone, sooner or later. The whole scenario is one of those, "How do you word a wish when your DM is a rat bastard?" But in the spirit of the question, I assume as the noble in question I'm going for a version of, "I don't have to avoid ticking off the dragon--I just need to make sure I tick him off less than other people."

If I'm a noble with more wisdom and some morals, then I'll be trying to persuade the peasants to drop the idea with a combination of reason and "tough love". If that means that peasants caught poking end up maintaining a herd of cows for the dragon, that is their problem.

 

[Thunderfoot]

I make it illegal, set up a guard station outside of the cave and enforce it with taxes, fines and tariffs....MEANWHILE

I have the court adventurers find a dragon slaying sword (later having them executed as traitors to the state) with which I behead the beast whilst he is sleeping, take his horde for the treasury and have my propaganda minister spread rumors that the dragon's horde grows daily, thereby increasing the chances for some nitwit to actually try to poke the dragon. (of course incurring fines, tariffs and penalties...) This of course is only known to the guards of the den (special troops under Geas to never speak a word of it.) the royal family (we are ensuring the continued livelihood of our country) and the dragon, who tasted really good when BBQ'ed to a crunchy texture with ketchup.

Then again this is just ff of the top of my head, given enough time, I can be a real rat bastard....

 

[Kaodi]

I would not make it illegal per se. I would merely decree that anyone who pokes the dragon with a spear also gets poked with a spear. Earnestly.

 

[GreyLord]

I make it illegal, set up a guard station outside of the cave and enforce it with taxes, fines and tariffs....MEANWHILE

I have the court adventurers find a dragon slaying sword (later having them executed as traitors to the state) and behead the beast whilst he is sleeping, take his horde for the treasury and have my propaganda minister spread rumors that the dragon's horde grows daily, thereby increasing the chances for some nitwit to actually try to poke the dragon. (of course incurring fines, tariffs and penalties...) This of course is only known to the guards of the den (special troops under Geas to never speak a word of it.) the royal family (we are ensuring the continued livelihood of our country) and the dragon, who tasted really good when BBQ'ed to a crunchy texture with ketchup.

Then again this is just ff of the top of my head, given enough time, I can be a real rat bastard....

If the adventurers can kill a dragon that you cannot, what makes you think you can kill the adventurers?

 

[Thunderfoot]

If the adventurers can kill a dragon that you cannot, what makes you think you can kill the adventurers?

I see where you are getting the idea that I have them kill the dragon, I do not (I fixed that so read my following post for even further clarity. Thank You.)

Who said I couldn't kill it - I have them get the sword to make it EASIER for me to kill the dragon. I'm royalty, I have the entire resources of my kingdom at my disposal, all of which is traceable back to me.

I get the adventurers (i.e. patsies) to do the dirty work in getting one for me and then remove them from equation. . . permanently.

Trust me, NEVER show the amount of power you are capable of, EVER. Wield it only if you absolutely need to and then with as few witnesses as possible. Unlike the BBEG is so many bad movies, books and D&D modules, I am smart enough to realize when to cut and run and when to eliminate the fall guy - WITHOUT a monologue. (just kill them and be done with it.)
And if I have to eliminate a few low ranking guards while I am at it, so be it.

 

[Bleys Icefalcon]

the other question... why isn't there a troop of tough, seasoned adventurers heading into said cave and poking the slumbering beast with something a bit mroe deadly than a stick?

 

[Michael Silverbane]

the other question... why isn't there a troop of tough, seasoned adventurers heading into said cave and poking the slumbering beast with something a bit mroe deadly than a stick?

Because their DM won't tell the players about the dragon until it has woken up and is rampaging across the countryside, all cranked off because the villagers have been poking it.