I'm A Banana
Potassium-Rich
But I think the best advice is that you have to forgo some of those conventions to make it a game.
Right. You can tell a story with this game, but remember that you're playing a game and not telling a story.
A story needs an audience and an audience needs a sympathetic character. There is no real audience for a D&D game, except for the people playing it, so you don't need one sympathetic character. Everyone's character acts as their anchor into the fantasy world.