The Real Housewives/husbands of your RPG Group

[wedgeski]

My wife, as in many things, is just about perfect in this respect. When we started going out ("dating" for you 'mericans), she had never roleplayed but knew generally what it was. Since she was a friend of a friend of the DM of the group I was playing in, she joined for a session or two after we met so as we could hang out. I felt that was a good sign.

In the many years that have passed since then she's become pretty much the primo roleplayer in our little circle of gamers and plays in every game that I either play in, or run.

She has utmost patience for the time I spend at the computer or poring over books, and is probably less critical of the amount of money I spend on the game than she wants to be, simply because she knows what it means to me.

Since my hobby is now her hobby as well, roleplaying is as much a way for us to spend time together as a holiday, a weekend away, or a night out. It's one of the many, many reasons why I consider myself lucky to have her.

 

[Stumblewyk]

My wife plays in every game I play or run. Not because I expect her to, but because she wants to. We get to share that time, it gives us each someone to discuss the game with, and it's been really cool to watch her grow as a player and occasional DM.

Shortly after we got married I started playing with a group of guys I knew from high school (she was aware of my geekery well before this and supported it), and it didn't take long for her to take an interest in what we were doing, though she did initially have some bizarre misconceptions about what went on at a game session.

If I had to venture a guess, I'd assume that as a player she appreciates the work I put in for my game. As a spouse, she probably also assumes that I spend too much time putting in that work. As a result, I've learned to budget my time better, for her sake.

As for significant others of my players...we've got one younger guy about to get married in October who fiance is waaaay into boardgames, and is going to be joining a short zombie survival game I'll be running next weekend. There's another guy who's currently separated from his wife and is looking at divorce, from the sounds of things. I don't think she cares/cared about his gaming, but I really don't know. Another guy is single, but dating and not ashamed to let his geeky side show. The other two are married to girls who aren't the least bit interested in gaming, but don't care about their husbands playing.

 

[Gilladian]

My husband and I MET at a dnd game 30 years ago. This past year, he's taken some time off playing in my campaign as he got a bit burned out. But he sounds interested in rejoining my E6 game that will start in a few months.

My second player is a long-time friend who is single, and always will be, I think. We've been playing together for 17 years, and I've never know her to even date anyone.

Then I have a father-son pair who play together. I suspect the wife/mother isn't terribly fond of rpgs but appreciates the fact that her husband and son have an activity they participate in together. I know he also sometimes runs games for the son and his friends (and younger brother) at home. I've met the wife a couple of times at the Library where I work, and she's friendly but not interested in anything that would lead to gaming, as far as I can tell.

My last player is another long-time friend. We gamed together for a few years, then I moved and we didn't have any contact for years. Then about 5 years ago we met up again, and he rejoined our group. He's divorced, with grown kids. His wife HATED gaming and was very jealous of it. His sons are avid online gamers, but don't really do tabletop gaming, much. One of them is "on the list" if I have an opening in my game, though.

 

[Dykstrav]

When we first met, my wife advertised herself as a hardcore gamer: she recited anecdotes about the 1E campaign she was playing in the early 21st century and even joined me in the rare occasions when I DMed. (This was back in our college days, so we rarely got the time to game.) Nevertheless, she knew the difference between the various saving throws of 1E, which had me convinced.

Now that we're married, she swears that she never advertised herself as a gamer chick and asserts that she does not enjoy the game very much. She still plays on occasion, but it's clear that she enjoys more freeform narrative than killing things and taking their stuff. For what it's worth, she really dug the Cthulhu-based 30's-era LARP we got into.

She also digs Wraith: the Oblivion when I've talked about it, but asserts that it's too depressing for her to really enjoy. Experiments with getting her to play Wraith have not been successful... The tempter/semi-confrontational nature of the shadow and the general tone and state of things in the Underworld were a little too disturbing and morose for her. I try to take it as a back-handed compliment about the way I run a Wraith game.

Nowadays, she still games on rare occasions, but we've mostly agreed-without-directly-discussing-it that Saturday is her "day off" from me. She enjoys getting to sleep in and have some personal time for half the day (or more), so we've sort of arrived at that state of affairs.

 

[ggroy]

It turned out my ex-wife totally hated gamers of all stripes. Though I didn't know that at the time. I was in the middle of a long 15+ year hiatus away from rpg games altogether, when we were married.

During my hiatus away from rpg games, I wasn't really playing any games of any type. Hardly any video games. No board games. No card games. No rpg games. No wargames. Etc ..... (All my old rpg books, board games, etc ... were in the basement collecting dust).

 

[Crazy Jerome]

There are two married couples in our game (including the wife and I), and of the seven other players, only two aren't married (including our 18-year old son).

My wife likes the game mainly for the social aspect, but if she gets the right kind of character for her, she does get into it. I think her reservations in the past have been as much blood sugar related as anything, as she needs frequent breaks for protein and mental recoupment. She'd like to GM a Star Wars game, but has been intimidated by that same mental and physical investment issue.

The other married couple are both pretty equally into it. Though it is funny that of all the people in the group, his wife and mine are the only two who don't play MMORPG.

Of the five other married people in the game, one guy's spouse isn't into it. Another guy's spouse would like it for the social aspect, but their schedules never work out for her to do much. The last three players are ladies. Two of their husbands tried it, but didn't care for roleplaying at all. The other husband never really had any interest. Two of those husbands are military enactors, though, and their wives do that with them.

I don't think there is a single spouse in the group that gives any kind of grief over "pretending to be an elf."

 

[Traveon Wyvernspur]

I play in two different groups:

Group 1) Been playing in for about two years, there are 7 of us total. We meet up about 1x per month at a married couples' home and both of them game. My wife is neutral about it doesn't make any remarks whatsoever unless we have something planned for the weekend of the game and then I'd have to reschedule. One of the guys is single. Two are married and I've never heard that their spouses complain, and the last has a girlfriend who is the same as the two that are married.

Group 2) I DM the game (same thing with my wife). There are 6-7 of us in that game depending on if everyone shows up. One of the guys is divorced, the 2 others are unmarried, two others are married (one of which is supportive but doesn't play - and we game at their home) the other I haven't heard anything positive or negative about gaming. This is a fairly new group that I put together just posting at gaming sites to get something going locally. Everyone seems pretty cool and laid back and we are having fun.

 

[MortonStromgal]

I met my wife playing D&D 3.0 then I introduced her to other games and now she refuses to play D&D.

 

[Imperialus]

Quotes I can attribute to her... "I want elf boots +12" and "When can I cast fireball?"

For the first... oh, probably 8 years of our relationship my wife was not a gamer. She thought it was a little silly. Then a bit more than a year ago she started expressing some interest in forming a 'girls' D&D group with a couple of the girls she works with, a mutual friend of ours who I've been gaming with for over a decade DMing and me along as the only experienced player. We kicked off with a BX campaign expecting it to last a couple months at most before they lost interest.

Well we've been playing for a bit over a year now, we're between 4th and 6th level (a couple character deaths) added 2 additional players, and I can probably count the number of sessions we've had canceled on one hand. We're aiming to hit name level, and then I'm going to take over DMing Castles and Crusades.

 

[Scotley]

My wife does not game, doesn't get it and doesn't want me to share it with the kids. She is given to making snide comments about it and hates the volume books and such I keep around the house. I have no active group to talk about in part because she does not support my playing. That said, we have a wonderful relationship otherwise. The life we have together is worth it, but once in a while I do think about how nice it would be to have a regular gaming group again. If I wanted it bad enough she wouldn't stand in the way, but I really have too much going on with work and family to make a regular gaming commitment possible at this time. Maybe someday...