The Son of the Whiney Player thread

[jdrakeh]

Sounds like he might have a disorder that hinders his ability to express himself in the way that he would like to (e.g., Asperger syndrome), which results in frustration that, in turn, manifests as the tantrums or fits that you describe.

 

[Mr. Wilson]

My passive-aggressive answer depends on if you see said gamer anywhere else.

Tell the other players about this plan before you do it. At the next game, kill everyone. Then, stage yelling, shouting, etc. amongst the group leading up to dismantling the gaming group.

Wait two weeks, everyone shows up, plays as normal minus the problem player where you left off. Yes, I can be the passive-aggressive bastage if I choose to be.

Or, if that's not your cup of tea, simply tell him his playstyle is incompatible with the group and he has to go. I'd probably do that one myself, but the first one is plausible if you are worried about hurting his feelings.

Either way, the player has to go if he's causing everyone else in the group to lose enjoyment or dread gaming. It's not fair to anyone.

 

[Man in the Funny Hat]

If the player really does have some form of mental disorder or developmental disability then it HASN'T been diagnosed, has it? If so it has to be just as frustrating to BE the individual in question as to DEAL with the individual in question. You have people constantly irritated at you, but you can't understand WHY. The anecdotes provided suggest that he may actually be GRATEFUL when he is told what he is doing wrong because his own disorders prevent him from seeing it in himself.

Relatively mild as the described behavioural problems are they are nonetheless a problem. This individual needs PROFESSIONAL help. Ask him to get it. There may be medications or behavioral therapy or something that will help him. Start there. And regardless of his disabilities you ARE NOT obligated to put up with disruptive or problematic behavior. Your D&D game was not formed to provide ONE individual with social interaction and therapy, but to provide several people with entertainment. Speak with the other players on the quiet, ask their preferences and opinions, and basically if even one other player prefers that he should be removed from the group then you get to choose which of those two players you ask to leave - the one causing the disruptions, or the one who prefers to game without having to tolerate those disruptions.

If the decision is to remove the problem player then you might want to inform him that you are willing to revisit the question after he's sought professional help.

 

[BlueBlackRed]

Is there any chance that it's not a behavioral disorder and rather the guy is just immature?

I've had a player that acted in a lot of ways like yours, but it was most definitely not a disorder. He was just a whiney person.

 

[Dragonbait]

Thank you for the responses and reccomendations (Yes, even you Oryan77 with your wonderfully mean-spirited post that made me laugh ).

I've seen Asperger's Disorder used on here quite a bit, and to return to a term that roguerouge brough up, my friends and I did our own armchair psychology and thought of the same thing many moons ago. We also firmly believe his mom smoked regularly when she was pregnant with him and that he is DEFINATELY a spoiled child (only child with a single mom who gives him anything he wants). So it's a mixed up soup of a situation.

We had a long talk with him on Friday, including telling him about a possibility of aspergers and reccomending a psychologist. He reveald a great deal of things that we didn't know about before, but he was never informed if he officially had any learning disability. Knowing his mother, she probably would never tell him if he did. Time will tell if he does anything about it.

As far as his future with the gaming groups is concerned, well, that's still up in the air at this point in time.

 

[catsclaw227]

How old is the player in question?

If he's an adult, then the parent that has withheld from him information about a possible cognitive disorder or psychosis is a huge part of the problem.

If he's a still a teen and isn't aware of an official diagnosis, did he say that he would ask his mother about it? Was he open to getting some help?

 

[Dragonbait]

How old is the player in question?

If he's an adult, then the parent that has withheld from him information about a possible cognitive disorder or psychosis is a huge part of the problem.

If he's a still a teen and isn't aware of an official diagnosis, did he say that he would ask his mother about it? Was he open to getting some help?

He is 26. I am only speculating on if his mom is witholding information.

He claimed was open to seeking help, but whether he would do it or not is a different story.

 

[catsclaw227]

It's a really tough situation for sure. You need to ask the rest of the players if their fun is affected by it, and decide if continuing the game in its current state is the right thing.