"The sunder roll" selection from the DnD songbook.

[Jesus_marley]

"The sunder roll"
(sung to "the thunder rolls" by Garth Brooks)

{the numbers and DM in the ( ) indicate players 1, 2 and the DM speaking

It's early in the battle,
Orcs are gathering 'round,
Blood's dripping from a sword blade,
And pooling on the ground....
The orc chief steps forward
with his axe held up high,
(1) "My fighter does the same thing,
Break his axe, I'm gonna try..."
(DM) "Make a sunder roll...
Make a sunder roll."

All the orcs are wide eyed
as the sword swings around
The attack is a near miss and
there is laughter all around.
(2) "My mage prepares a spell,
real shocking and bright."
(1) "My fighter will try again,
attacking from the right."
(DM) "Make a sunder roll,
make a sunder roll."

(DM) "The sunder roll
before the lightning strike,
Shatters the axe,
that the chief held tight.
The lightning bolt turns
The chief to coal."
(1) "I shouldn't of attacked
with a sunder roll."


Ugh... this is what happens when you are bored at work at 4 in the AM. I can't think of more lyrics right now... maybe later

 

[Rel]

Nice work! I've admired good song parody ever since I was a little kid and helped a buddy of mine turn Men at Work's It's a Mistake into "Eat Some Swiss Steak". I've been a Weird Al fan for years.

My latest attempt was posted here about a year ago when I turned Toby Keith's I Love This Bar into "I Love This Board".

Post more!

 

[Torm]

That's really cool. An excellent parody of an excellent song.

Of course, I'm required by Law to post the following whenever the topic of song parodies comes up:

Torm (a parody of "Torn", with apologies to Natalie Imbruglia)

So I was a Paladin in Life
Devoted all
My life to Tyr and I got deified
I would never cheat or steal or lie
And now its Paladins that I award
Remove Disease
Lay On Hands, They don't get sick no more
That's what Divine Health is for
Malar's such a beastly guy,
Cyric's always full of lies
That won't last for long
They'll be facing Torm

Duty, honor, faith
Always on my side
I'm bold and unafraid
Marching through a tyrant's door
Illusions are a way
Evil tries to hide
When they're fake
Well I can see
With Detect Evil - so
They'll soon meet their fate
They've crossed paths with Torm

You gotta do just what you know is right
You want to turn all those undead
And use your holy Smite
Fight the priests of Bane
I know, Beauty Sune,
Tymora's luck
I don't miss them all that much
There's aspects of them
That I can't touch. I'm Torm.

A Phylactery of Faith
Tells you how I feel
Its useful if you've gamed
As a Paladin of Torm
Armor made of chain
Blades made of strong steel
That never break
Magic Weapons
+1 Swords of Torm
We'll eliminate
Enemies of Torm
Torm

Avatars, a purple sky
Bane a pain in Troubled Times
Paladins want him gone
They supersized their Torm

Galloping gait
Barding made of steel
And now my lance is aimed
At the challenger before
Jousting at the games
Or sometimes its for real
There's a time
When you can see
The Pokemounts of Torm

A Phylactery of Faith
Tells you how I feel
You'll get one if your DM's
Had it in for you before
Mighty and they're great
Paladins of Torm
Torm

-fin-

Now, show them my motto:

 

[reveal]

That was great!

BTW, if you want to send a funny sendup of Torn, check this out (audio is needed):

http://video.craveonline.com/video/?showVideo=423