The Thread In Which We Rant

[Retreater]

Dear Players: Please respect my time and the time and dedication of the rest of the players and show up at the game or at least give us enough notice to reschedule or cancel the session.
Dear Players: Thanks for bringing snacks, especially the homemade baked goods variety. I don't thank you enough for this.
Dear Module Writers: Don't try to surprise me (the GM) with plot hooks. Present all the information I need to know at the beginning of the adventure. Organize your thoughts. You're not writing a novel - it's more like a technical manual. Include flow charts, important NPC glossaries, etc.
Dear Con GMs: Think about why people play games at a Con. If it takes you over an hour to "start the fun," rethink it. If you present pregen characters "designed for home campaign play," consider your audience.

 

[JiffyPopTart]

Dear Players

A character is a complex individual who should evolve and grow as you play them. Each encounter should shape them in some way, and not by adding some digits to the XP line of the sheet. It's YOUR job to make your character interesting AND a member of the party (which is its own character in a way). The worst thing that can happen to your character is not that they may fail or die, but that they will be found "boring".

Consider these words if your character resembles any of the following...
1. Defined by their race, class, weapons, and feats. Name and backstory are unimportant.
2. Hides every battle. Never in danger. Never sticks their neck out for anyone for any reason.
3. Have a one-note personality that defines every social encounter they are involved in. "I'm the barbarian. I'm the horny bard. I'm the bumbling wizard."
4. Treat your INT 8 character as if they have severe brain damage.
5. Is only tolerated in the party because they are controlled by a player.
6. Primary motivation levels 1-20 is "Get gold and magic items" (unless playing a dragon).

 

[aco175]

Dear Convention DM and Players, please bathe before going to sit in a room all day surrounded by others doing the same. Also, deodorant is to be used in moderation.

 

[Shiroiken]

Dear Players: can you please read and understand your character's abilities without having to look things up every time?

 

[Sacrosanct]

Dear player: it’s been two years. You should know how to apply your attack modifiers and what sneak attack and cunning action are by now. Maybe actually read the PHB in between sessions at least once.

 

[Tyler Do'Urden]

I think one of the problems with this methodology is that some GMs are actually extremely bad at communicating the potential difficulty, but think they are good at it. Those same GMs usually refuse to "break immersion" only only describe things to you that the PC would see, but in the real world our sense of what is possible, or probable, or dangerous comes from a collection of experiences. It is impossible to replicate this on either side of the screen, so it is necessary for the GM to provide metagame cues (which in the fiction of thegame translate to those experiential feelings).

Too many GMs, especially old school D&D GMs, refuse to enagge in that metagame level and then blame the players for not being psychic.

Certainly good points. This is why I try to emphasize feelings of fear and menace when the party encounters "real bad mofos" and often have them make Wis or Int checks to help them establish where they are in the pecking order, as well as asking "are you sure?" when they do something that would go against common sense for character in the setting. I rarely have to do much of the latter, though, as my players are pretty good at asking questions and figuring such things out for themselves.

And yes, sometimes being "old school" is just an excuse for being a wangrod; or, on this side of the screen, a "killer DM". While there's a fair amount of lethality in my games of any edition, I've always striven to be a "rat bastard" DM, not a "killer" DM (to use game designer John Wick's parlance).

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Dear GM:

when you design adventure with “choke points“, make sure that the party ACTUALLY has what they need to get past it. Being stymied feels worse than a TPK.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

And yes, sometimes being "old school" is just an excuse for being a wangrod; or, on this side of the screen, a "killer DM". While there's a fair amount of lethality in my games of any edition, I've always striven to be a "rat bastard" DM, not a "killer" DM (to use game designer John Wick's parlance).

No doubt, John Wick knows killin’.

 

[Tyler Do'Urden]

No doubt, John Wick knows killin’.

Sadly this is the John Wick I'm talking about:

Though being the guy who created 7th Sea and L5R, yeah, I'd say he knows killin' too. (And he confessed on his blog to losing all his friends in middle school after he killed them all with the demon face in the Tomb of Horrors. So he understands from tough experience!)

 

[CleverNickName]

Dear Players:
Please, for the love of Pelor, conserve your resources. If you are assuming you will be able to take a long rest whenever you want one, without effort or consequence, you need a better plan.

Also, I don't know who needs to read this but please update the gaming calendar. Now. Yes, right now.