D&D General The truth about Gnomes, Gnolls, and Kobolds!

[Cadence]

Facts: Gnolls are a cross between Gnomes and Trolls (see OD&D Monsters & Treasures; this is reported as only rumor in Moldvay Basic). Gnolls are described as Human-like hyenas in Moldvay.

Facts: Gnomes and Kobolds despise each other (see Moldvay). Kobolds are described as dog-like (see Moldvay). Gnomes and Kobolds are the same size.

Facts: Hyenas are described as dog-like (even as they are not canines; see google).

Facts: Neither Gnomes nor Trolls appear to be hyena-like or dog-like.

Hypothesis: Gnomes are englamoured Kobolds that are ashamed of their true heritage. The talk of them being "cousins" of Dwarves is based only on this englamoured appearance and has been played up by the Gnomes to hide the truth. Gnomes began infiltration of TSR/WotC at the earliest stages and are trying to bury the truth by describing Gnolls as progressively less natural and Kobolds as progressively less dog-like in the publications.

 

[Snarf Zagyg]

1. Infiltrate TSR and bury the truth about gnolls and kobolds.

2. ?????????

3. PROFIT!!!!!!!!!!!



....will the gnomes ever learn? No, no they won't. But at least they remain committed to the long game.

 

[Parmandur]

Facts: Gnolls are a cross between Gnomes and Trolls (see OD&D Monsters & Treasures; this is reported as only rumor in Moldvay Basic). Gnolls are described as Human-like hyenas in Moldvay.

Facts: Gnomes and Kobolds despise each other (see Moldvay). Kobolds are described as dog-like (see Moldvay). Gnomes and Kobolds are the same size.

Facts: Hyenas are described as dog-like (even as they are not canines; see google).

Facts: Neither Gnomes nor Trolls appear to be hyena-like or dog-like.

Hypothesis: Gnomes are englamoured Kobolds that are ashamed of their true heritage. The talk of them being "cousins" of Dwarves is based only on this englamoured appearance and has been played up by the Gnomes to hide the truth. Gnomes began infiltration of TSR/WotC at the earliest stages and are trying to bury the truth by describing Gnolls as progressively less natural and kobolds as progressively less dog-like in the publications.

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Honestly, if Gnomes were canine they would be more distinct.

 

[Cadence]

Honestly, if Gnomes were canine they would be more distinct.

But that's just it, they actually are under all the illusion!

If I could draw, it feels like this topic deserves a Chick Tract.

 

[Jer]

Facts: Gnolls are a cross between Gnomes and Trolls (see OD&D Monsters & Treasures; this is reported as only rumor in Moldvay Basic). Gnolls are described as Human-like hyenas in Moldvay.

Facts: Gnomes and Kobolds despise each other (see Moldvay). Kobolds are described as dog-like (see Moldvay). Gnomes and Kobolds are the same size.

Facts: Hyenas are described as dog-like (even as they are not canines; see google).

Facts: Neither Gnomes nor Trolls appear to be hyena-like or dog-like.

Hmmm...

Hypothesis - Gnomes and Kobolds are actually the same species, but some look more dog-like and others look more dwarflike, and have divided into two cultures that hate each other over those differences. When you magically merge gnome and troll together you end up with something that enhances those dog-like features.

 

[Jer]

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Also can I add that I love that the typo of Lord Dunsany's name never got corrected in any subsequent printings of the books. Good old Lord Sunsany.

 

[Cadence]

Hmmm...

Hypothesis - Gnomes and Kobolds are actually the same species, but some look more dog-like and others look more dwarflike, and have divided into two cultures that hate each other over those differences. When you magically merge gnome and troll together you end up with something that enhances those dog-like features.

Like a new take on the Star Trek episode "Let that be your last battlefield" or the Vance Story "Ulan Dhor", where the differences don't seem that big to outsiders (seriously, Gnomes and Kobolds, should have been obvious all along that they're related!), but is huge to them.

 

[Jer]

Like a new take on the Star Trek episode "Let that be your last battlefield" or the Vance Story "Ulan Dhor", where the differences don't seem that big to outsiders (seriously, Gnomes and Kobolds, should have been obvious all along that they're related!), but is huge to them.

Yeah - right after I posted it I thought of "Let that be your last battlefield" with the guys who are painted half black and half white but on opposite sides.

It would be hilarious if actually gnomes had faces like English bulldogs with their flat features while kobolds look more like American bulldogs. Everyone else sees a resemblance while the two groups are like "no they're nothing like us".

 

[ART!]

Kobold origins in German folklore are basically house or mine fairies/elves/dwarves, with neither dog-like nor dragon-like appearance.

"Gnome" is the name given by the medieval physician, alchemist, and philosopher Paracelsus to the most important spirits of the Earth. According to him, they had a misshapen appearance, live in the earth, guard treasures, and move through earth and stone like we walk around on the surface. Sunlight turns them to stone.

 

[Reynard]

Gnolls eat gnomes*, which makes the kobolds happy up until the point where the gnolls run out of gnomes.

*I did this in a 2E campaign and I don't feel bad about it.