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The Untold Adventures of Fap Longwood & Friends!
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<blockquote data-quote="mikeawmids" data-source="post: 8011855" data-attributes="member: 6776411"><p><u>The Adventures of Fap Longwood #25 (Tyranny of Dragons)</u></p><p></p><p>The usurper’s tower was once part of a larger fortress, now only a solitary finger of stone remains, occupied by an ogre warlord and his band of bugbear brigands. The tower is 30ft tall and has a single entrance on the ground floor. Two sharp-eyed bugbears armed with longbows keep watch from the roof.</p><p></p><p>Under the cover of darkness, Fap and Horatio attempt to scale the exterior wall of the tower. The sentries hear something and peer over the edge of the roof, just as the two heroes reach the top. Horatio grabs the bugbear looming above him and pulls him off the roof. The bugbear plummets 30ft but survives the fall, albeit with two broken legs. Brian trundles over to put the crippled goblinoid out of its misery.</p><p></p><p>Horatio pulls himself up onto the roof and is immediately attacked by a giant vulture! Mara casts <em>Misty Step</em> and appears on the roof of the tower. She follows up with <em>Burning Hands</em> and barbeques the giant vulture into hot wings. Horatio cuts down the second bugbear.</p><p></p><p>A trapdoor in the roof opens and a third bugbear pops his head up. Horatio lifts the cauldron of boiling oil (that the sentries/DM had forgotten to pour over the party) and upends it over the trapdoor.</p><p></p><p>Brian scales the tower and joins the others on the roof. Fap abseils down the wall and uses the arrow slits to peek into the next room. Inside, three bugbears and a wild-eyed goblin shaman are waiting to dogpile the first person through the trapdoor. Fap braces his legs against the mossy stonework and shoots into the room, killing the goblin. As the bugbears look around in confusion, the trapdoor opens and Horatio drops into the room.</p><p></p><p><strong>“I love it when a plan comes together!”</strong> Fap congratulates himself.</p><p></p><p>Horatio and Brian make short work of the remaining brigands. The party continue to descend, eventually reaching the subterranean oubliette, dimly illuminated by a smoky brazier. Shelves of torture paraphernalia line the walls, along with four manacled humans – one of which must be Dagny. Ogre Warlord Gragmir oversees the interrogation of the prisoners.</p><p></p><p>The heroes drop into the dungeon. Gragmir swings for Horatio and accidentally topples the brazier, plunging the area into darkness. Brian invokes the name of Ilmater and Lightbringer bursts into light, driving the ogre back. Gragmir trips over one of his slain assistants and becomes tangled in a curtain of chains dangling from the ceiling. The more the ogre struggles, the more tightly bound he becomes.</p><p></p><p><strong>“I surrender!”</strong> the warlord shouts.</p><p></p><p><strong>“I don’t care!”</strong> Fap answers, firing a half-dozen arrows in quick succession, transforming the helpless ogre into a pincushion.</p><p></p><p>Ignoring the dead warlord dangling amongst the rusty chains, the heroes release Dagny and the four surviving members of her company. A poorly hidden sack contains Gragmir’s treasure; a small fortune in loose change, a pouch of precious moonstones, two potions of Greater Healing and a Helm of Comprehend Languages (claimed by Mara).</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mikeawmids, post: 8011855, member: 6776411"] [U]The Adventures of Fap Longwood #25 (Tyranny of Dragons)[/U] The usurper’s tower was once part of a larger fortress, now only a solitary finger of stone remains, occupied by an ogre warlord and his band of bugbear brigands. The tower is 30ft tall and has a single entrance on the ground floor. Two sharp-eyed bugbears armed with longbows keep watch from the roof. Under the cover of darkness, Fap and Horatio attempt to scale the exterior wall of the tower. The sentries hear something and peer over the edge of the roof, just as the two heroes reach the top. Horatio grabs the bugbear looming above him and pulls him off the roof. The bugbear plummets 30ft but survives the fall, albeit with two broken legs. Brian trundles over to put the crippled goblinoid out of its misery. Horatio pulls himself up onto the roof and is immediately attacked by a giant vulture! Mara casts [I]Misty Step[/I] and appears on the roof of the tower. She follows up with [I]Burning Hands[/I] and barbeques the giant vulture into hot wings. Horatio cuts down the second bugbear. A trapdoor in the roof opens and a third bugbear pops his head up. Horatio lifts the cauldron of boiling oil (that the sentries/DM had forgotten to pour over the party) and upends it over the trapdoor. Brian scales the tower and joins the others on the roof. Fap abseils down the wall and uses the arrow slits to peek into the next room. Inside, three bugbears and a wild-eyed goblin shaman are waiting to dogpile the first person through the trapdoor. Fap braces his legs against the mossy stonework and shoots into the room, killing the goblin. As the bugbears look around in confusion, the trapdoor opens and Horatio drops into the room. [B]“I love it when a plan comes together!”[/B] Fap congratulates himself. Horatio and Brian make short work of the remaining brigands. The party continue to descend, eventually reaching the subterranean oubliette, dimly illuminated by a smoky brazier. Shelves of torture paraphernalia line the walls, along with four manacled humans – one of which must be Dagny. Ogre Warlord Gragmir oversees the interrogation of the prisoners. The heroes drop into the dungeon. Gragmir swings for Horatio and accidentally topples the brazier, plunging the area into darkness. Brian invokes the name of Ilmater and Lightbringer bursts into light, driving the ogre back. Gragmir trips over one of his slain assistants and becomes tangled in a curtain of chains dangling from the ceiling. The more the ogre struggles, the more tightly bound he becomes. [B]“I surrender!”[/B] the warlord shouts. [B]“I don’t care!”[/B] Fap answers, firing a half-dozen arrows in quick succession, transforming the helpless ogre into a pincushion. Ignoring the dead warlord dangling amongst the rusty chains, the heroes release Dagny and the four surviving members of her company. A poorly hidden sack contains Gragmir’s treasure; a small fortune in loose change, a pouch of precious moonstones, two potions of Greater Healing and a Helm of Comprehend Languages (claimed by Mara). [/QUOTE]
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