The Worst Awsome thing done in a game.

[Dannyalcatraz]

My Half-Orc Bounty Hunter (Ranger) is the main fighter in the party, using TWF with Flail and Spiked Shield. We're in a combat and the party is not doing all that well.

(What do you expect when a Ranger is the party's heavy hitter?)

The party's rogue is trying to unlock a door that would give the party an out and let us control the battle a bit better...but he's failing. The party's cleric interposes herself into the melee to allow the bruiser (my PC) to bust the door open.

He charges the door, reaching it just as the rogue succeeds, unlatching the door but without opening it completely.

My dude fails to perceive that the door is open and charges through the door, which swings open freely, disgorging him into a passage dominated by a deep chasm with only a narrow pathway along its side.

My dude fails to slow his charge and slides off of the edge of the pathway into the chasm.

The DM in his mercy, opts to give me a chance to roll for him to grab the safety rope that lines the path.

I rolled a "2."

The party survived the encounter due to being able to regroup in the superior position afforded by the passageway, but without any muscle, decided to retreat.

End of adventure.

 

[Son_of_Thunder]

Kender for the win!

My brother was playing a kender handler in 2e days. The group was adventuring near a dormant volcano. The caldera was mostly solid with some sinkholes leading to molten lava. The kender had a ring of feather falling. He decides to jump down one of the sinkholes so see where it lead. Well after about 30 feet the sinkhole opens up to a large underground lava lake so the kender slowly falls toward his doom. To make the best of it my brother takes off the ring and does a Gollum impression as he sinks into the lava, "My precious"! We still talk about it to this day. When the Jackson movies came out it was the first thing we said to each other when we watched the scene in Return of the King.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

My multiclassed Ranger was on point, scouting, with the party strung out behind him. The naked fighter (all of his gear except his sword had been annihilated) was in second position, and whispered, "How does it look?"

I rolled a non-comittal "8" on my Spot roll, and replied "Looks clear."

We were attacked at that very moment. The party, already (clearly) dinged up a bit, took some hard hits before taking down our attacker. We then retook our positions, bickering the whole way...

Fighter: "You said clear!"

Ranger: "I said it looks clear."

"How does it look now?" the fighter's player asked.

I rolled a "7" on my Spot roll, and at this point, a couple of players at the table started to snigger...and just then, I picked up on what they were thinking.

"Looks clear."*

The guffaws derailed the game for a good 10 minutes.

* For those who don't know, we had unintentionally quoted a scene from Pitch Black.

 

[Redrobes]

A long long time ago when playing 2e we did a high level party roll up and adventure. 3 million XP (for 18th MU), 100K gp magic I think it was. It was a power game but the GMs were a pretty evil lot so it was a known optimize the stats kind of deal & GMs play hardball. In this setup there was a house rule of only one death wish (i.e. no stacking) and you had to write out the wording exactly and this was usually to be brought back in the same state as you were in a turn earlier because when you try to write them the loopholes are innumerable.

I had a halfling thief who I rolled min height and took a hat of disguise which dropped him another 10% or so I forget the exact amount. Anyway, he was small and light. He was carried on the back of the monk who somehow had double move rate which was just crazy high to start with.

I remember from that game that in surprise segments I took out 2 pit fiends from a lot of lucky dice. But the deaths were spectacular. First guy went when his helm of brilliance save failed - ok no surprise there and used up his death wish. But one other guy was caught by a Cambion and held rigid somehow so he hung him in a noose he dies, death wish kicks in but hes still in the noose... he pondered a great deal looking for a way out of that one. The monk tho was superb. Somebody cast I think it was spike stones ? I cant recall, which does X dam per movement rate which ground the monk into the dirt as he tore through that area.

I'm liking these stories from you guys a lot tho

 

[InVinoVeritas]

First level, 3e Living City. I was playing a halfling fighter, potential future Outrider.

We are supposed to sneak into an ogre mage's glacial lair and... steal something? Rescue someone? Can't remember. Once we had the MacGuffin, we had a magic item that would teleport us all out of there when we all held hands and activated the item, so it should not have been too big of an issue. We were not supposed to alert the ogre mage.

So, of course, we alert him.

Within a single round, he makes it clear that we're all toast. Trying to salvage the situation, I offer myself as a slave to the ogre mage. Since the ogre mage didn't know about our teleportation item, I figured this would work out okay in the end. We just say goodbye and poof, we're gone.

The ogre mage makes me give up my armor and weapons. Standard first level gear, easily done. The rest of the PCs approach.

They approach carefully holding hands and reaching out to me.

The ogre mage, understanding that something wrong was up, grabs me and heads deep into his lair. So now it's me, an unarmored, unarmed, first level halfling fighter, alone, versus an ogre mage.

I bite his wrist. Somehow, I manage to squirm free of his grasp. I dodge in and under some of his furniture as he tries to cast a firebolt at me. He misses, I rush out and bite his ankle. He picks me up, and I wrestle free again, trying to grab some sort of weapon along the way--I get a scroll case (not really useful to a first level fighter). The other players just watch in awe as I run around, hiding in cabinets, toss pans and spill oil at him, and eventually escape his clutches by climbing up his chimney, with him hot on my tail.

I make it out the top of the chimney and look where I am. It's a featureless plain, an ice sheet, with nowhere to hide. Despondent, I turn back to the chimney--and the ogre mage climbing from it (it was a big chimney). Furious, he grabs me, picks me up, and opens wide to swallow me down.

That's when I jam the scroll case down his windpipe.

Choking, he drops me. I then proceed to try to knock him back down the chimney while he's distracted. I run back, then run at him at full force, screaming. No good. He's still choking. So I try again. As you can guess though, I'm a halfling, he's an ogre mage, I fail to push him back down the chimney, choking.

He eventually retrieves the scroll case from his throat, pulls out his giant sword, and, completely disgusted with both me and himself, slices me in two and leaves.

Still, I went down fighting.

 

[Swedish Chef]

Another epic fail from my group from 2nd Ed years.

Mixed party, and the fighter/mage has an almost full Helm of Brilliance. Don't remember why or how, but he had it.

Well, party is roughly 15th level and fighting the BBEG at the end of the adventure. Some over powered Ice Devil, if I remember correctly.

Anyways, the same player who played the mage in the previous story was playing a mage in this adventure. His normal trick was to cast Globe of Invulnerability, then move into melee and cast fireball with himself at the centre (no, not *in* the globe, just outside the globe, thereby standing there immune, as the spells were written at the time).

Well, he did it this time, but forgot that they were in a room that didn't have the volume to absorb the blast. In fact, based on how you used to measure fireball (number of squares in an area affected), the blast filled the room and about 30 feet out into the corridor.

The fighter mage was standing near the door. Everyone else was in the room. Rolled for saves - fighter/mage failed. We played with the rule that if you failed, you rolled for each item in your possession. F/M goes through his sheet, making save after save, until he gets to the last item. The Helm of Brilliance. With only 2 gems used (out of 50, if I remember correctly. Some unholy number at any rate). Helm fails with a 1. Literally. Helm explodes with the fury of of dozens of fireballs, delayed blast fireballs and what ever other offensive spells it contained.

My first ever TPK, and I really had nothing to do with it. The player of the mage could only look at the rest of the players, shrug his shoulders and sheepishly say "Oops!" But, they did stop the BBEG! And collapsed his dungeon around him and them. A fitting burial, I say!

 

[Torq]

A while back I was in a party that was involved in a boat chase (the boats looked like large wooden canoes). The boat in front of us was about to go over a waterfall with one of our party in it. The other 3 PCs were in the 2nd boat. In a desperate measure, the dwarf barbarian quaffed a potion of bull strength and the cleric casted fly on him. He tried to fly away while holding on to the boat but the DM said it was too heavy so he grabbed my character (a Teifling rogue) and the cleric and flew us to safety while the boat went over the edge. Our other party member narrowly escaped being crushed by our boat. Only to be grappled and held underwater by a gargantuan squid.

In an effort to save him we landed and it immediately grappled me and the dwarf on the beach. I was saved from drowning when the dwarf (still superdwarven strengthened) entered a tug-of-war with the squid and proceeded to pull it OUT of the water. We slowly wore it down and killed it but alas, the original fellow we were trying to save drowned.

In the end, we had to give the DM hell after we looked up the numbers and found that the dwarf could've lifted well over 1000lbs. but couldn't lift the little boat. What was that thing made out of? Lead?

 

[Mallus]

A player in my group, who shall remains Atlatl Jones...

... threw a pregnant political prisoner into the maw of a Void Ooze (who happened to look like an evil Totoro) in order to distract it, though I suspect the real reason was 'to see what happens'.

... bought a bull, Awakened it sentience (INT 18), and possessed it in order to enter it into a gladiatorial combat for the right to run for City Council in a port ruled by pirates. The bull won the combat, then the election, and eventually left politics and entered academia (founding the discipline of semioxtics).

... successfully bottled the absence of God.

 

[Aramax]

I was playing at one of the Princecon conventions and we were infultrating a college.I set up our cover as an"Animal House frat"We had panty raids and food fights and attacks on other frats.
So when we made our grab on the mcguffin we drew no interest
and were able to make a complete safe getaway.
It was by far the best plan I ever came up with in 30+ years of playing!

 

[malcolypse]

Our plan was to throw Explosive Runes on stones with rope around it's neck. BUT... because one is requiered to read the runes I was a volentier. In conclusion DM's lucky hand made 49 damage... thanks to evasion I recieved 24 damage from the runes and 5 damage from the fall. I survived... for now.

Now has anyone here done something as awsome as this. If yes then I think that you all us should hear those stories.

ok, two stories, the first hasn't happened yet, but it's directly related to the leading post:
for over a year now, i've been threatening every d&d dm with a wizard pc. every day, i would use one of my unused spells to cast explosive runes on a new sheet of paper in a blank book. when confronted with a terrible thing that needs to go away, the book would be thrown by the party fighter at the thing. when it struck, i would use the second method of setting off explosive runes: an area dispell magic(for which i would choose to fail the save). every explosive runes in the book would go off, leaving the terrible thing a smoking hole in it.

no one wants me to play a wizard.

this second story actually happened in a game:
the party was travelling along to the next town(with my halfling rogue in the woods along the road on point), which the dm didn't want us to get to just yet, so we were accosted by a large green dragon demanding tribute(or a toll, or a backrub, who really listens when they're busy silently climbing a nearby tree?). i made an amazing jump roll to land on the things back and plunged my tiny little halfling shortsword into it's spine. i roll a twenty on the attack roll. i roll to confirm my critical and up pops another 20. our gm was using an alternate rule that in just this situation allows a third roll for an instant and silent kill, which i took. and rolled another 20.

the party(and their players) went bonkers. i stood up and took a victory lap around the pool table we were playing on for high fives and a dm hug(he needed it, i'd just rewritten his game for the night twenty minutes in), after which i insitsted that the dragon be hacked upon by the rest of the party before we rolled it's carcass into town on our wagon. a dead dragon with one tiny hole would have raised some eyebrows, and my character didn't have time for fame just then, he had a world to save.