Tips for an Expectant Father

[Aeolius]

a few more simple gems:

SHE has the babies. YOU change the diapers. FOREVER. A fair trade, don't you think?

When SHE gets up, YOU get up. The sleeping in shifts thing causes unrest.

Now is the time to purchase an african grey parrot. Teach it every inane tune from every kid's show on TV. When the kid turns 13, they will hate you for it. THIS gives you power.

Gymboree blankets; the softest in the multiverse.

Before naming the child, try to envision every nickname a cruel child might twist it into. Make sure you don't give them a common acronym.

 

[Simplicity]

Before naming the child, try to envision every nickname a cruel child might twist it into. Make sure you don't give them a common acronym.

That's why you should name your kid something like Optimus Prime. They'll be a schoolyard hero. For a while at least.

 

[takyris]

Not to be contrary, but:

a few more simple gems:

SHE has the babies. YOU change the diapers. FOREVER. A fair trade, don't you think?

That's your power dynamic. That's not how it is, or should be, for everyone.

Note, I say that as a dad who changes diapers. Putting these absolute "that's how it must be" statements up there isn't gonna work for all families.

When SHE gets up, YOU get up. The sleeping in shifts thing causes unrest.

Unrest for whom?

Right now, I sleep most of the night (but am available to be woken up should my wife need an assist or a time-out), and I watch the kids so that she can sneak naps in elsewhere. (I just got back from lunch at home, watching the Dude for an hour while she slept.)

I'd suggest that the family figure out something that works for the family. Maybe that means that everyone is up whenever anyone is up. Maybe it means that mom pumps, and the baby is always fed from a bottle, which means that mom and dad can alternate shifts at night. Maybe it means something completely different.

 

[Aurora]

Yeah, the sleeping in shifts thing worked great for us. We didn't do it ALL the time, but those first couple weeks when you both feel like you might die from sleep exhaustion it is nice to say "go sleep for 2 hours, and then I'll sleep for 2 hours".

 

[Simplicity]

a few more simple gems:

SHE has the babies. YOU change the diapers. FOREVER. A fair trade, don't you think?

When SHE gets up, YOU get up. The sleeping in shifts thing causes unrest.

Now is the time to purchase an african grey parrot. Teach it every inane tune from every kid's show on TV. When the kid turns 13, they will hate you for it. THIS gives you power.

I gotta say, this is some of the worst advice I've ever heard.

A) No deal unless I can get a nasal epidural.

B) Any parent of a newborn who trades a little sleep for a little peace deserves neither and will lose both.

C) Grey parrots live longer than people do. Your kid will be hating you long after you're dead.

 

[Harmon]

BTW, they grow out of everything at an incredible rate. Don't spend too much on baby clothes.

Good Will is a pretty good place to give away or buy clothes for the little one. I have taken many loads to the donation station.

Should have thought to sell them on eBay ("5 lb bag of baby clothes from preme to six months old. Best offer"), cause we need the money to buy more clothes.

Remind people that buy your little one when your kid was born and where you live. Someone living in somewhere really hot will not need a parka. My step mother purchased a bathing suit for Bug (our daughter) that would fit a one year old, she did this for her first X Mas (11 months old at the time) "when is Bug gonna where this?" "When she goes to a pool" "this summer?" "Ya" "she will be 18 months."

Start standing your little one at four months. Our daughter took her first steps at seven and half months and was walking (well two steps at a time) by eight months.

Talk to your little one- as much as you can, the more you enter act the more you will increase their vocal skills.

Get a video camera of some kind and record everything, then edit it together. Wish we had done that.

Have fun, sleep while you can, kiss your wife and tell her how much you love her.

 

[crystal]

There is a lot of good advice here. I know when I was pregers with my daughter I was terrafied from all the horror stories. So dont take all the stories you hear to heart. Bad way to go. When the baby comes have lots and lots of diapers on hand. when getting up with baby something to keep in mind. 1) Change diaper. 2) feed baby 3) burp baby. if baby falls asleep dont put him down just yet. He will wake up within 20 minits crying.Wait then change diaper again. As soon as baby is done eating, it will come out the other end. When holding, burping baby, keep a burp wrag over your shoulder...Trust me, nothing more plesant than a nice warm formula spit up rolling down your back. If you are having a baby boy, after you remove his diaper, quiqley place another over his wee wee. When they are exposed to cool air thew shoot off strait up in the air, and over their heads....My son did this several times before I learned to cover him up. Your wife will have mood swings for a while. When she cries, hold her and let her know how much you love her. When she is grumpy, offer to watch the baby while she sleeps..Your support and love will help her more than you know. If she decides to breast feed, dont let her have caffine. I drank coffee like crazy, and unknowingly it was effecting my daughter. She was up crying 24-7. I drank the coffee to stay up with her and breast feed. It was a non stop cycle....

 

[Olaf the Stout]

My wife doesn't like tea or coffee and doesn't drink a lot of caffeinated soft drinks so I think that we should be ok in that regard.

Olaf the Stout

 

[Hijinks]

LOL @ the cover-the-wee-wee thing.

I just read in BabyTalk magazine this morning about a mom who was changing her son's diaper and she had his legs up at just the right angle that he was peeing into his mouth

That'll be me *sigh* We just found out today it's a boy! Huzzah!

If you already have all of the "stuff" you need like onesies and stuff, and people ask you what they can bring/give, ask them to make you a casserole or something that you can freeze and heat up after the baby's born. Should save you lots of time and energy.

I won't make my husband change ALL of the diapers like the PP mentioned, but maybe the first one of the day

As Bill Cosby says, to paraphrase, "The first poopoo is the greatest, you're showing it around to everyone and saying 'oh what a cute poopoo!' ... then around 3 weeks old, god puts smell in the poopoo."

 

[Kahuna Burger]

If you are having a baby boy, after you remove his diaper, quiqley place another over his wee wee. When they are exposed to cool air thew shoot off strait up in the air, and over their heads....My son did this several times before I learned to cover him up.

It's funny, I kept expecting this, but the Kahuna Meatball only managed to pee on himself - no altitiude to speak of. The quick cover was still good to prevent the changing pad from getting wet, though.