To the tune of Todd Snider's Talkin' Seattle Grunge Blues...

[thedungeondelver]

I give you: Talkin' Seattle Game Blues...

hey hey, my my
D&D will never die
dumb it down, to your surprise
you'll make a million dollars

Well I was at WotC makin' money fast
thought we'd buy TSR 'cause they'd gassed
so one day we took the plunge
moved 'em all to Seattle to reinvent fun
washingon state that is
redmond
Microsoft
frasier's funny

now to publish fast we went to work
yanked stuff out until it hurt
we had a new attitude and what's more
when you play you gotta buy random minis at the store
wowee
pretty clever
how expensive
how totally financial

now to fit in with the gamer scene
you gotta write somethin they ain't never scene
so thinking up a 5e gimmick one day
we decided to publish blank rulebooks to play
for the new edition
blank pages
gaming's original alternative
whoo fun!

well we spread the word at Gencon how
we'd be selling the greatest edition around
the Hasbro guy came out to talk to us one day
and just like always there were no rules to play
it knocked him out
he said he loved our work
he said he loved our work but he wasn't sure if he could sell rulebooks
with nothing in them
I said hell we've been doing that since 1999
He advanced us two and a half million dollars

hey hey, my my
D&D will never die
dumb it down, to your surprise
you'll make a million dollars

we did a youtube video but that wasn't tough
cuz' we just filmed ourselves not playin' stuff
it was kinda weird 'cause we had no rules
but the ennies guys said it was super cool

the kids went wild, the kids went nuts
rpg.net gave us a five star review said it was the first edition to have guts
we're scorin' chicks and takin drugs
then enworld asked us to podcast upload
you should've seen it
we sat right there and refused to read live the
print rules we had refused to type up in the first place
then we sold 'em minis

well we blew 'em away at the gencon show
by refusing to demo and refusing to go
and then just when we thought fame wouldn't quit
along came these rules that'd never been in print
now that's alternative gaming
hell that's alternative to alternative
that's an attack of opportunity
per encounter

well our writers got fired and that ain't funny
'cause we can't write for and we're out of money
so the other day I called 'em up and
said boys I've taken all I can
shave off your goatees
pack the van
we're movin' back to Lake Geneva.

 

[ExploderWizard]

Harsh but funny!!

I got a 4E song of my own, inspired by actual play:

Who Marked Who
(To the tune of Who Made Who: apologies to AC DC)

The D&D game says play me.
Face it at 1st level gonna take an extra hour for a one on one.
Rounds take lots of extra time
Nothing gonna get this guy down fast cause it rules you
Through and through

The Dragonshield has my number
Says that I've been marked cause I smacked him hard last round
Go to move and now I'm screwed.
Keeps you tracking targets, ain't a thing it does for you.
Does for you

Who marked who, who marked you
Who marked who, ain't nobody told you
Who marked who, who marked you
If you marked them and they marked you
Who did the warlock curse and who marked who........Yeah

Who marked who. who should I screw

Battlemap shows me picture
Switch it every round marking that bad guy
Hit them when they shift you know

Targets changing round to round

Running out of kobolds, one guy left so don't roll low
So don't roll low, NO

Who marked who, who marked you
Who marked who, ain't nobody told you

Who marked who, who marked you

If you marked them and they marked you
Who did the fighter choose and who marked who

Ain't nobody told you
Who marked who
Who marked you

Who marked who
And who marked you
Yeah!

Nobody told you