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Transcription of a D&D session - The Cult of Tentacles (updated 11/7)
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<blockquote data-quote="xnosipjpqmhd" data-source="post: 2667043"><p><strong>Session 5 : Part 3</strong></p><p></p><p><span style="color: Blue"><em>THE STORY SO FAR: The heroes broke into the rented rooms of the healer Kelakor, bringing with them a befriended goat. While upstairs, they discovered a painting, a basin of stagnant water, and a small brass tripod.</em></span></p><p><span style="color: Blue"><em></em></span></p><p><span style="color: Blue"><em>SESSION 5 : PART 3</em></span></p><p><span style="color: Blue"><em>Summary: In the fireplace, Ulfgard finds a lot of unburnt scraps of paper. Meanwhile, Roland searches through the healer’s books and ingredients. The obligatory combat scene for this session begins, and one player turns another player's undead wife.</em></span></p><p></p><p>DM: Who was looking at the bookshelf?</p><p>Roland: I was.</p><p>DM: Ok…</p><p>Roland: I waited long enough, now I’m just gonna say screw ya.</p><p>DM: Ok, so you look at the books, and to the best of your limited knowledge, they look like medical texts. Like, “The Muscles of Locomotion” is one, and “A Comparison of the Circulatory Structure Between the--”</p><p>Roland: I’m not really looking at the titles of the books. What I’m doing is…</p><p>Longbeard: [singing] Everybody’s doing the locomotion…</p><p>Ulfgard: It’s sad that you know that.</p><p>Longbeard: Grand Funk Railroad.</p><p>Ulfgard: Grand Funk Railroad.</p><p>DM: I’m sorry. I can’t hear you. What?</p><p>Roland: I’m gonna look for loose leafs inside the books, kind of stuffed in, like notes. I’ll quickly flash through and see if there’s any markings in the--</p><p>Ulfgard: It’s amazing how many D&D characters have come from names of songs, such as like the Marrakech Express, you know. [Roland’s player] had a Talislanta character named Zafaal Marrakesh. I said, “Marrakesh, that’s a cool name.” He said, “yeah, it’s from Crosby, Stills, and Nash.”</p><p>Longbeard: It’s a Crosby, Stills, and Nash song.</p><p>Ulfgard: I said, “wow, that’s right.”</p><p>Longbeard: It’s also a city in Morocco.</p><p>DM: I don’t know. I mean, you’d have to take some time to do that. You want to do that?</p><p>Roland: Yeah. Now in the course I’m going to look and see if there’s anything wrong with the books, anything out of the ordinary. And if a title catches my eye, like, “How To Take Over Somebody’s Mind With…,” then I…</p><p>DM: Ok.</p><p>Ulfgard: I’m glad you guys have the books for the 7th Sea.</p><p>Roland: What’s that about the 7th Sea?</p><p>Ulfgard: I said, I’m glad you guys have those books.</p><p>Roland: Oh, that is such a great system.</p><p>Ulfgard: It really is.</p><p>DM: What do the rest of you guys want to do while he’s digging through [the bookshelf] and he’s digging through [the fireplace]?</p><p>Longbeard: I was guarding…</p><p>DM: [to Ulfgard] You’re digging through the ashes.</p><p>Ulfgard: Right. Ok.</p><p>DM: I want to make sure everybody gets a chance to do something. What do you want to do?</p><p>Longbeard: I’m guarding in the hall. I’ll just keep my eyes open.</p><p>Nepzillian: I’ll check out the table.</p><p>DM: [to Longbeard] Make a Listening roll.</p><p>DM: The table is actually a desk. That thing. [points to the miniature] The desk.</p><p>Ulfgard: As he comes down the hallway, somebody turns the corner and you go, THUMP!</p><p>Ulfgard: It’s that little old lady. Actually, it’s the goat.</p><p>Longbeard: [rolls die] 11.</p><p>DM: When you don’t have the skill, you have to roll a d12.</p><p></p><p><span style="color: Blue"><em>In our rules set, unskilled attempts require the roll of a d12 instead of d20.</em></span></p><p></p><p>Longbeard: Oh that’s right. Sorry.</p><p>DM: I’ll give you a re-roll, heh. Alright, checking out the desk.</p><p>Roland: Man, this is just gonna go bad real quick.</p><p>Ulfgard: I know. I’m just waiting.</p><p>Roland: We’ve [indistinct] too much. This is gonna go bad. Hey, I’m gonna get reaped by Mr. [indistinct] in a backwaterass town that I shouldn’t even be in anyway.</p><p>Ulfgard: I think the funny thing is…</p><p>DM: [gives handout to Nepzillian]</p><p>Longbeard: I got some!</p><p>Ulfgard: I think the thing is, he’s not really going to be mad that we’re in here. He’s going to be mad that we let the goat in.</p><p>Roland: Oh, sure! Blame it on the goat!</p><p>DM: [puts a miniature on the map]</p><p>Ulfgard: Uh oh.</p><p>Roland: What is it?</p><p>Ulfgard: I don’t know, but the dwarf about ready to enter melee.</p><p>Roland: Oh hell.</p><p>Nepzillian: Uh oh. Is there a window in this?</p><p>DM: Yes.</p><p>Longbeard: “Dwarf, hold ‘em off as long as you can!”</p><p>DM: You are on the second storey, though. But yes, there is a window.</p><p>Roland: I’ve got rope!</p><p>Ulfgard: What about the goat, though?!?</p><p>Roland: Hold this rope. I’m gone! “Hey, throw my goat down!”</p><p>Ulfgard: Do this. [imitates goat] They’ll never recognize you.</p><p>Roland: Stand real still. Maybe they’ll think you’re a statue.</p><p>Ulfgard: You’ll look like a goat.</p><p>Longbeard: Oh gosh.</p><p>Ulfgard: “He looked like a dwarf, but I didn’t see his face.” Did he ever talk?</p><p>DM: Ok. Nepzillian’s looking at that. Roland’s digging through books. Ulfgard’s digging through that. And Longbeard, you see this figure, sort of looking like this. [shows picture]</p><p>Longbeard: Anything I recognise? Does it look familiar at all?</p><p>DM: There’s not a lot of light in this hallway.</p><p>Longbeard: Ok.</p><p>Nepzillian: Kill it! No wait, don’t do that.</p><p>Roland: It’s a shade. Kill it.</p><p>Longbeard: I’m stepping back slowly. [pounds door] “Guys.”</p><p>DM: What do you guys do when he says that?</p><p>Roland: Keep looking.</p><p>Nepzillian: I’ll look out in the hall.</p><p>Ulfgard: I look out in the hall.</p><p>DM: Ok. [to Ulfgard] You get all the pieces out [of the fireplace] that you think [are salvageable].</p><p>Nepzillian: [holds up the handout] I’m sticking this down my shirt thing, whatever.</p><p>DM: Make sure you write it on your character sheet so that I give it back to you next session.</p><p>Roland: Hey man, can I read that since you can’t?</p><p>Nepzillian: You’ll have to read it to me, yeah.</p><p></p><p><span style="color: Blue"><em>Nepzillian never learned to read, which is one of the things that’s prevented him from actually becoming a full-fledged priest thus far in his life.</em></span></p><p></p><p>DM: The books, they all seem legit. There are a few that seem kind of odd, like, you know, treatises on dissecting monsters, and stuff like that, um… quasi-medical, they seem to be. A lot of stuff about dead bodies, bone structure, stuff like that. </p><p>Roland: But nothing that is--</p><p>DM: Diagrams of bones, but no hidden notes or anything.</p><p>Roland: Ok, then I’ll leave, and I’ll go look out in the hallway also.</p><p>DM: Ok, you peek your head and look over the dwarf’s head…</p><p>Longbeard: [imitates the Three Stooges] Hello… hello… hello…</p><p>Ulfgard: Hello.</p><p>DM: And there’s somebody coming.</p><p>Roland: Let’s rush ‘em now.</p><p>Ulfgard: I don’t think we should rush. I’m going to walk out into the hall.</p><p>DM: Well, there’s a dwarf standing in the doorway.</p><p>Ulfgard: Oh. Excuse me, I’m going to…</p><p>Roland: He can’t step over a dwarf? He’s eight foot tall.</p><p>Nepzillian: Did you say this is like a book, er…?</p><p>Longbeard: He’s wide.</p><p>DM: And he’s got like five weapons.</p><p>Longbeard: Yeah.</p><p>Roland: Oh, yeah.</p><p>Longbeard: No, he’s got his spear back. [pointing to Ulfgard]</p><p>DM: Ok, four weapons.</p><p>Ulfgard: I’ll try to make my way around him and look down the hall. Do I recognise…?</p><p>DM: It’s up to him whether you get around him, I mean, seriously.</p><p>Ulfgard: Ok. Yeah.</p><p>DM: He’s…</p><p>Ulfgard: Stout.</p><p>DM: …wide enough to take up the whole hall.</p><p>Longbeard: You can come into the hall behind me, if you like.</p><p>Nepzillian: Then we’ll just stay behind him… Actually he’d be better off behind him, you’re taller than him, you can go over…</p><p>Ulfgard: Yeah, we got two ranks.</p><p>DM: There’s an old woman walking toward you. You reckon she’s maybe 80 years old. Skin, I mean, wrinkled as hell, thin…</p><p>Longbeard: Hello, dear.</p><p>DM: She’s walking toward you with a butcher knife.</p><p>Ulfgard: Marel!</p><p>Nepzillian: Is it Marel?</p><p>DM: Make a Night Vision roll at +2.</p><p>Nepzillian: Night Vision?</p><p>DM: It’s under Perception.</p><p>Longbeard: Do I know who Marel is?</p><p>Roland: I shoot a flaming arrow at the figure. That way they can see it better. Ha ha. Shoomp.</p><p>Nepzillian: Just a Perception roll?</p><p>Longbeard: He said Night Vision.</p><p>Nepzillian: Well, I don’t have Night Vision. So that’s a d12 then. [rolls die] That’s a 9.</p><p>Longbeard: Plus 1, well, the Perception.</p><p>DM: If your Perception is a +1 or better, you get a d20.</p><p>Nepzillian: Oh, ok. [rolls die] 9!</p><p>DM: You’ve got no clue who it is. And besides, you’re looking over everybody else’s shoulders, so--</p><p>Nepzillian: Ok.</p><p>DM: …it’s not like you could really tell.</p><p>Nepzillian: Hell, I’m staying in the room in case something bad happens. Then I can come out.</p><p>DM: Roll initiative, d6 and add your Dexterity.</p><p>Longbeard: [rolls die]</p><p>Roland: The woman’s gonna whoop your butt.</p><p>Longbeard: She is. She’s gonna kill me.</p><p>DM: What’d you roll?</p><p>Longbeard: I rolled a 1.</p><p>DM: Ok, you have initiative. She slowly raises the butcher knife up as she’s walking toward you.</p><p>Ulfgard: Give me a 20-sided. I’m casting a spell.</p><p>Roland: Oh God.</p><p>DM: Well, roll initiative then.</p><p>Ulfgard: Ok.</p><p>DM: Make sure you get a level 1 in order to do it before him.</p><p>Ulfgard: Plus Dexterity?</p><p>DM: Yep.</p><p>Roland: It’s a 1.</p><p>Ulfgard: What’s your Dexterity?</p><p>Longbeard: Uh, 0.</p><p>Ulfgard: Mine’s 0, too.</p><p>DM: He acts at the same time. So what are you doing?</p><p>Longbeard: I am just, I’m going to block whatever she’s going to--</p><p>DM: Do you have a shield or anything?</p><p>Longbeard: No, I’ve just got my mace. I’m going to swat it.</p><p>DM: Ok, use it to parry?</p><p>Longbeard: Yeah.</p><p>DM: Ok.</p><p>Roland: Into the side of her friggin’ head.</p><p>DM: What are you doing?</p><p>Ulfgard: I’m gonna cast a spell.</p><p>DM: Alright, do it. No, hold on a second.</p><p>Roland: I’m gonna parry to her temple.</p><p>Nepzillian: Freeze motion on the dwarf.</p><p>DM: Alright, what are you doing?</p><p>Roland: You actually wrote down her stats?</p><p>Longbeard: I really don’t want to kill this old lady, but…</p><p>Ulfgard: Enslumberment.</p><p>Roland: You wrote down her stats?</p><p>DM: Oh yeah!</p><p>Nepzillian: I wonder if it’s not undead maybe or something.</p><p>Roland: Oh God. Kill it. If he wrote… Don’t ever pet a duck in a dungeon.</p><p>Ulfgard: [rolls die] 16.</p><p>DM: What is it? What are you doing?</p><p>Ulfgard: Enslumberment.</p><p>DM: Ok, do it.</p><p>Ulfgard: Ok. Enbililu! [claps hands]</p><p>Roland: Enbililu? What the hell’s that?</p><p>Longbeard: It’s the Enslumberment spell.</p><p>Ulfgard: It’s what I have to say.</p><p>DM: Oh yeah, ok.</p><p>Nepzillian: …we all stand around, even the old lady. “What the hell’s that?”</p><p>DM: Let me see your spellbook.</p><p></p><p><span style="color: Blue"><em>All spells gained by characters in the game were discovered by the players within prop spellbooks. I tried to make the prop books look as realistic as possible. The formulae were written out in full, complete with arcane sigils and such. Ulfgard’s player actually had to figure out what to do to make a spell work, in a manner similar (though greatly simplified) to what his character had to go through. (Most of the spell names were changed to add interest. As the name suggests, Enslumberment is a Sleep spell.)</em></span></p><p></p><p>Ulfgard: Oh, also, I sprinkle my dust.</p><p>DM: Are you reading it from the book?</p><p>Ulfgard: Huh? Yes.</p><p>DM: Ok.</p><p>Ulfgard: I think I’ve got time.</p><p>DM: Ok. And what did you roll?</p><p>Ulfgard: 16.</p><p>DM: Is that modified?</p><p>Ulfgard: Yes.</p><p>DM: Ok. That’s a partial.</p><p>Ulfgard: Ok.</p><p></p><p><span style="color: Blue"><em>Our rules set has partial successes built into it moreso than other rules, so you'll notice that term used frequently.</em></span></p><p></p><p>Longbeard: Her left arm falls asleep.</p><p>DM: Um, let me see the spellbook. I just want to check the details…</p><p>Ulfgard: That’s fine. I also, I have some sand that I had to sprinkle also.</p><p>DM: Ok.</p><p>Roland: It gives us time to get our goat and get out of here. That’s all I care about.</p><p>DM: You gotta get the goat.</p><p>Roland: Oo, and he’ll think the woman ate the flowers.</p><p>Longbeard: Yeah, there’s a woman and a goat in the room…</p><p>DM: Ok, she attacks you. [rolls die] And she misses.</p><p>Roland: Ok, is she close enough-- Is she close enough to--</p><p>DM: She within reach, but she’s still walking toward you.</p><p>Roland: Can these guys--</p><p>Nepzillian: If she’s undead, I might be able to turn her.</p><p>Roland: Wait a minute, is she close enough to recognise yet?</p><p>Ulfgard: Ok, somebody light something.</p><p>Longbeard: Don’t light the dwarf!</p><p>Roland: I catch a book on fire.</p><p>Ulfgard: Look for a candle maybe.</p><p>Roland: I catch a candle on fire.</p><p>DM: There’s nothing lit in here.</p><p>Roland: I catch a candle on fire.</p><p>DM: You’re going to use a tinderbox?</p><p>Roland: Yes, I am.</p><p>DM: Do you have one…</p><p>Roland: Yes, I do.</p><p>DM: Ok, it’s Fire Building. Roll. In the meantime--</p><p>Roland: What the hell’s Fire Building under?</p><p>DM: Survival. In the meantime, Longbeard has initiative.</p><p>Roland: This should be good.</p><p>DM: Keep blocking?</p><p>Longbeard: No, I am going to…</p><p>DM: The stench of death is hitting you [Longbeard] and you [Ulfgard].</p><p>Longbeard: Oh.</p><p>Ulfgard: Ok. [to Longbeard] I guess that’s not you.</p><p>Nepzillian: “I’m sorry, guys.” That’s what you hear behind you. </p><p>Longbeard: I’m taking a whack.</p><p>Roland: Where in the hell is…</p><p>DM: Make a roll.</p><p>Longbeard: [rolls die] Weapon skill in the mace, nope, that’s an 11.</p><p>DM: Miss.</p><p>Roland: Where the hell’s Survival at?</p><p>DM: In the S’s.</p><p>Roland: Oh. Ok.</p><p>DM: Fire Building, so you need a d12.</p><p>Nepzillian: Can I try to turn undead?</p><p>Roland: [rolls die] 11!</p><p>DM: You’re very close. You’re making sparks.</p><p>Nepzillian: Ulfgard, let me in front.</p><p>Ulfgard: [to Longbeard] Let him in front of us.</p><p>Roland: Ok, I’m gonna start pulling pages out of a book. What the hell do I care?</p><p>Nepzillian: No, you [let me in front]. Not him.</p><p>Ulfgard: I’m gonna let Nepzillian in front [of me].</p><p>DM: Oh, I’m sorry, wait a minute. You cast a spell. That’s one fatigue point.</p><p>Roland: Way to go, dufus.</p><p>Ulfgard: Ok, that’s fine.</p><p>DM: Ok, now what are you doing?</p><p>Ulfgard: I’m stepping out of the way so Nepzillian can get in front of me.</p><p>DM: Ok, just switch figures then.</p><p>Longbeard: Which one’s Nep, this one? [points to a miniature]</p><p>Nepzillian: The one with the shield. [pushes two miniatures together] Oops, sorry, didn’t mean to…</p><p>Roland: That’s alright. That mace was in my butt. I liked it.</p><p>DM: Ok, you see this elderly woman with a knife.</p><p>Nepzillian: I’m going to take it I can turn undead. I’m going to find out. </p><p>DM: You had to switch places, though. She’s going to attack. [rolls die] She gets a partial on you.</p><p>Longbeard: Ah!</p><p>DM: If you parry-- you can lose an action next turn to parry, if you want. </p><p>Longbeard: [shakes his head no]</p><p>DM: Four points. Wound damage. Blood drips from her knife now, and there’s a line of blood on the wall where--</p><p>Longbeard: Ow.</p><p>DM: Nepzillian, what are you doing?</p><p>Nepzillian: I’m going to try to turn undead.</p><p>DM: That’s Spirit Lore. Do you have any Spirit Lore?</p><p>Roland: Yes, he does.</p><p>Ulfgard: Does he?</p><p>Nepzillian: +1.</p><p>Ulfgard: Yes!</p><p>Roland: Hoo-hah.</p><p>Ulfgard: …pulled out my spellbook.</p><p>Nepzillian: I’m going to go, “witchcraft witchcraft hex hex, gitchee gitchee cats-ass.”</p><p>Longbeard: Gitchee gitchee gas-ass?</p><p>Roland: He said, “witchcraft witchcraft hex hex hex, gitchee gitchee ass-ass.</p><p>Nepzillian: Cats-ass.</p><p>Roland: Cats-ass. Gitchee gitchee cats-ass.</p><p>Longbeard: Witchcraft witchcraft hex hex hex.</p><p>Roland: Gitchee gitchee cats-ass.</p><p>Longbeard: Oh my.</p><p></p><p><span style="color: Blue"><em>This particular phrase eventually became a standard mantra used whenever the players’ felt they needed a supernatural bonus to the die roll.</em></span></p><p></p><p>DM: Ok, what are you doing, specifically. I mean, I want you to roleplay.</p><p>Nepzillian: Well, I don’t know really.</p><p>Ulfgard: “Back, foul demon!”</p><p></p><p><span style="color: Blue"><em>At this point, Melanie--Ulfgard’s player’s wife--entered the room. On a whim, I decided to instruct Nepzillian to roleplay the turning of undead as if Melanie were the unholy creature being turned. Hey, whatever works.</em></span></p><p></p><p>DM: [points to Melanie] Do it as if she was the person [in front of you]. I want to see it. Come on. Your success depends upon it.</p><p>Ulfgard: Do it. Do it.</p><p>Melanie: Am I missing something? I’m missing something, aren’t I? </p><p>Ulfgard: Stand right there. You are portraying the undead old lady that we’re-- that’s attacking us with a butcher knife.</p><p>Longbeard: You’re the old hag with the butcher knife that just stabbed me.</p><p>Ulfgard: Yeah. So, and [Nepzillian]’s getting ready to [indistinct] your undead form.</p><p>Nepzillian: Which we enjoyed, but you have to go.</p><p>Melanie: So I’m a dead, old woman?</p><p>Ulfgard: Yes.</p><p>Melanie: Oh.</p><p>Roland: Go get a knife.</p><p>DM: …and stab him. [points to Longbeard]</p><p>Roland: Make sure there’s blood on it.</p><p>Longbeard: That’s already happened, thank you.</p><p>Nepzillian: I’ve still got my shield, but… “By Pelor, God of Light, depart! Go where you came from!”</p><p>Ulfgard: Ooh!</p><p>Melanie: I’m going.</p><p>DM: Ok, she’s leaving, so…</p><p>Longbeard: …it works!</p><p>Nepzillian: I scared the hell out of her.</p><p>Ulfgard: You rock! She’s in there going, “What a bunch of morons.”</p><p>Roland: Right now she’s thinking, “Any of you guys get laid in high school?” No!</p><p></p><p><span style="color: Blue"><em>TO BE CONTINUED</em></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="xnosipjpqmhd, post: 2667043"] [b]Session 5 : Part 3[/b] [COLOR=Blue][I]THE STORY SO FAR: The heroes broke into the rented rooms of the healer Kelakor, bringing with them a befriended goat. While upstairs, they discovered a painting, a basin of stagnant water, and a small brass tripod. SESSION 5 : PART 3 Summary: In the fireplace, Ulfgard finds a lot of unburnt scraps of paper. Meanwhile, Roland searches through the healer’s books and ingredients. The obligatory combat scene for this session begins, and one player turns another player's undead wife.[/I][/COLOR][I][/I] DM: Who was looking at the bookshelf? Roland: I was. DM: Ok… Roland: I waited long enough, now I’m just gonna say screw ya. DM: Ok, so you look at the books, and to the best of your limited knowledge, they look like medical texts. Like, “The Muscles of Locomotion” is one, and “A Comparison of the Circulatory Structure Between the--” Roland: I’m not really looking at the titles of the books. What I’m doing is… Longbeard: [singing] Everybody’s doing the locomotion… Ulfgard: It’s sad that you know that. Longbeard: Grand Funk Railroad. Ulfgard: Grand Funk Railroad. DM: I’m sorry. I can’t hear you. What? Roland: I’m gonna look for loose leafs inside the books, kind of stuffed in, like notes. I’ll quickly flash through and see if there’s any markings in the-- Ulfgard: It’s amazing how many D&D characters have come from names of songs, such as like the Marrakech Express, you know. [Roland’s player] had a Talislanta character named Zafaal Marrakesh. I said, “Marrakesh, that’s a cool name.” He said, “yeah, it’s from Crosby, Stills, and Nash.” Longbeard: It’s a Crosby, Stills, and Nash song. Ulfgard: I said, “wow, that’s right.” Longbeard: It’s also a city in Morocco. DM: I don’t know. I mean, you’d have to take some time to do that. You want to do that? Roland: Yeah. Now in the course I’m going to look and see if there’s anything wrong with the books, anything out of the ordinary. And if a title catches my eye, like, “How To Take Over Somebody’s Mind With…,” then I… DM: Ok. Ulfgard: I’m glad you guys have the books for the 7th Sea. Roland: What’s that about the 7th Sea? Ulfgard: I said, I’m glad you guys have those books. Roland: Oh, that is such a great system. Ulfgard: It really is. DM: What do the rest of you guys want to do while he’s digging through [the bookshelf] and he’s digging through [the fireplace]? Longbeard: I was guarding… DM: [to Ulfgard] You’re digging through the ashes. Ulfgard: Right. Ok. DM: I want to make sure everybody gets a chance to do something. What do you want to do? Longbeard: I’m guarding in the hall. I’ll just keep my eyes open. Nepzillian: I’ll check out the table. DM: [to Longbeard] Make a Listening roll. DM: The table is actually a desk. That thing. [points to the miniature] The desk. Ulfgard: As he comes down the hallway, somebody turns the corner and you go, THUMP! Ulfgard: It’s that little old lady. Actually, it’s the goat. Longbeard: [rolls die] 11. DM: When you don’t have the skill, you have to roll a d12. [COLOR=Blue][I]In our rules set, unskilled attempts require the roll of a d12 instead of d20.[/I][/COLOR][I][/I] Longbeard: Oh that’s right. Sorry. DM: I’ll give you a re-roll, heh. Alright, checking out the desk. Roland: Man, this is just gonna go bad real quick. Ulfgard: I know. I’m just waiting. Roland: We’ve [indistinct] too much. This is gonna go bad. Hey, I’m gonna get reaped by Mr. [indistinct] in a backwaterass town that I shouldn’t even be in anyway. Ulfgard: I think the funny thing is… DM: [gives handout to Nepzillian] Longbeard: I got some! Ulfgard: I think the thing is, he’s not really going to be mad that we’re in here. He’s going to be mad that we let the goat in. Roland: Oh, sure! Blame it on the goat! DM: [puts a miniature on the map] Ulfgard: Uh oh. Roland: What is it? Ulfgard: I don’t know, but the dwarf about ready to enter melee. Roland: Oh hell. Nepzillian: Uh oh. Is there a window in this? DM: Yes. Longbeard: “Dwarf, hold ‘em off as long as you can!” DM: You are on the second storey, though. But yes, there is a window. Roland: I’ve got rope! Ulfgard: What about the goat, though?!? Roland: Hold this rope. I’m gone! “Hey, throw my goat down!” Ulfgard: Do this. [imitates goat] They’ll never recognize you. Roland: Stand real still. Maybe they’ll think you’re a statue. Ulfgard: You’ll look like a goat. Longbeard: Oh gosh. Ulfgard: “He looked like a dwarf, but I didn’t see his face.” Did he ever talk? DM: Ok. Nepzillian’s looking at that. Roland’s digging through books. Ulfgard’s digging through that. And Longbeard, you see this figure, sort of looking like this. [shows picture] Longbeard: Anything I recognise? Does it look familiar at all? DM: There’s not a lot of light in this hallway. Longbeard: Ok. Nepzillian: Kill it! No wait, don’t do that. Roland: It’s a shade. Kill it. Longbeard: I’m stepping back slowly. [pounds door] “Guys.” DM: What do you guys do when he says that? Roland: Keep looking. Nepzillian: I’ll look out in the hall. Ulfgard: I look out in the hall. DM: Ok. [to Ulfgard] You get all the pieces out [of the fireplace] that you think [are salvageable]. Nepzillian: [holds up the handout] I’m sticking this down my shirt thing, whatever. DM: Make sure you write it on your character sheet so that I give it back to you next session. Roland: Hey man, can I read that since you can’t? Nepzillian: You’ll have to read it to me, yeah. [COLOR=Blue][I]Nepzillian never learned to read, which is one of the things that’s prevented him from actually becoming a full-fledged priest thus far in his life.[/I][/COLOR][I][/I] DM: The books, they all seem legit. There are a few that seem kind of odd, like, you know, treatises on dissecting monsters, and stuff like that, um… quasi-medical, they seem to be. A lot of stuff about dead bodies, bone structure, stuff like that. Roland: But nothing that is-- DM: Diagrams of bones, but no hidden notes or anything. Roland: Ok, then I’ll leave, and I’ll go look out in the hallway also. DM: Ok, you peek your head and look over the dwarf’s head… Longbeard: [imitates the Three Stooges] Hello… hello… hello… Ulfgard: Hello. DM: And there’s somebody coming. Roland: Let’s rush ‘em now. Ulfgard: I don’t think we should rush. I’m going to walk out into the hall. DM: Well, there’s a dwarf standing in the doorway. Ulfgard: Oh. Excuse me, I’m going to… Roland: He can’t step over a dwarf? He’s eight foot tall. Nepzillian: Did you say this is like a book, er…? Longbeard: He’s wide. DM: And he’s got like five weapons. Longbeard: Yeah. Roland: Oh, yeah. Longbeard: No, he’s got his spear back. [pointing to Ulfgard] DM: Ok, four weapons. Ulfgard: I’ll try to make my way around him and look down the hall. Do I recognise…? DM: It’s up to him whether you get around him, I mean, seriously. Ulfgard: Ok. Yeah. DM: He’s… Ulfgard: Stout. DM: …wide enough to take up the whole hall. Longbeard: You can come into the hall behind me, if you like. Nepzillian: Then we’ll just stay behind him… Actually he’d be better off behind him, you’re taller than him, you can go over… Ulfgard: Yeah, we got two ranks. DM: There’s an old woman walking toward you. You reckon she’s maybe 80 years old. Skin, I mean, wrinkled as hell, thin… Longbeard: Hello, dear. DM: She’s walking toward you with a butcher knife. Ulfgard: Marel! Nepzillian: Is it Marel? DM: Make a Night Vision roll at +2. Nepzillian: Night Vision? DM: It’s under Perception. Longbeard: Do I know who Marel is? Roland: I shoot a flaming arrow at the figure. That way they can see it better. Ha ha. Shoomp. Nepzillian: Just a Perception roll? Longbeard: He said Night Vision. Nepzillian: Well, I don’t have Night Vision. So that’s a d12 then. [rolls die] That’s a 9. Longbeard: Plus 1, well, the Perception. DM: If your Perception is a +1 or better, you get a d20. Nepzillian: Oh, ok. [rolls die] 9! DM: You’ve got no clue who it is. And besides, you’re looking over everybody else’s shoulders, so-- Nepzillian: Ok. DM: …it’s not like you could really tell. Nepzillian: Hell, I’m staying in the room in case something bad happens. Then I can come out. DM: Roll initiative, d6 and add your Dexterity. Longbeard: [rolls die] Roland: The woman’s gonna whoop your butt. Longbeard: She is. She’s gonna kill me. DM: What’d you roll? Longbeard: I rolled a 1. DM: Ok, you have initiative. She slowly raises the butcher knife up as she’s walking toward you. Ulfgard: Give me a 20-sided. I’m casting a spell. Roland: Oh God. DM: Well, roll initiative then. Ulfgard: Ok. DM: Make sure you get a level 1 in order to do it before him. Ulfgard: Plus Dexterity? DM: Yep. Roland: It’s a 1. Ulfgard: What’s your Dexterity? Longbeard: Uh, 0. Ulfgard: Mine’s 0, too. DM: He acts at the same time. So what are you doing? Longbeard: I am just, I’m going to block whatever she’s going to-- DM: Do you have a shield or anything? Longbeard: No, I’ve just got my mace. I’m going to swat it. DM: Ok, use it to parry? Longbeard: Yeah. DM: Ok. Roland: Into the side of her friggin’ head. DM: What are you doing? Ulfgard: I’m gonna cast a spell. DM: Alright, do it. No, hold on a second. Roland: I’m gonna parry to her temple. Nepzillian: Freeze motion on the dwarf. DM: Alright, what are you doing? Roland: You actually wrote down her stats? Longbeard: I really don’t want to kill this old lady, but… Ulfgard: Enslumberment. Roland: You wrote down her stats? DM: Oh yeah! Nepzillian: I wonder if it’s not undead maybe or something. Roland: Oh God. Kill it. If he wrote… Don’t ever pet a duck in a dungeon. Ulfgard: [rolls die] 16. DM: What is it? What are you doing? Ulfgard: Enslumberment. DM: Ok, do it. Ulfgard: Ok. Enbililu! [claps hands] Roland: Enbililu? What the hell’s that? Longbeard: It’s the Enslumberment spell. Ulfgard: It’s what I have to say. DM: Oh yeah, ok. Nepzillian: …we all stand around, even the old lady. “What the hell’s that?” DM: Let me see your spellbook. [COLOR=Blue][I]All spells gained by characters in the game were discovered by the players within prop spellbooks. I tried to make the prop books look as realistic as possible. The formulae were written out in full, complete with arcane sigils and such. Ulfgard’s player actually had to figure out what to do to make a spell work, in a manner similar (though greatly simplified) to what his character had to go through. (Most of the spell names were changed to add interest. As the name suggests, Enslumberment is a Sleep spell.)[/I][/COLOR][I][/I] Ulfgard: Oh, also, I sprinkle my dust. DM: Are you reading it from the book? Ulfgard: Huh? Yes. DM: Ok. Ulfgard: I think I’ve got time. DM: Ok. And what did you roll? Ulfgard: 16. DM: Is that modified? Ulfgard: Yes. DM: Ok. That’s a partial. Ulfgard: Ok. [COLOR=Blue][I]Our rules set has partial successes built into it moreso than other rules, so you'll notice that term used frequently.[/I][/COLOR][I][/I] Longbeard: Her left arm falls asleep. DM: Um, let me see the spellbook. I just want to check the details… Ulfgard: That’s fine. I also, I have some sand that I had to sprinkle also. DM: Ok. Roland: It gives us time to get our goat and get out of here. That’s all I care about. DM: You gotta get the goat. Roland: Oo, and he’ll think the woman ate the flowers. Longbeard: Yeah, there’s a woman and a goat in the room… DM: Ok, she attacks you. [rolls die] And she misses. Roland: Ok, is she close enough-- Is she close enough to-- DM: She within reach, but she’s still walking toward you. Roland: Can these guys-- Nepzillian: If she’s undead, I might be able to turn her. Roland: Wait a minute, is she close enough to recognise yet? Ulfgard: Ok, somebody light something. Longbeard: Don’t light the dwarf! Roland: I catch a book on fire. Ulfgard: Look for a candle maybe. Roland: I catch a candle on fire. DM: There’s nothing lit in here. Roland: I catch a candle on fire. DM: You’re going to use a tinderbox? Roland: Yes, I am. DM: Do you have one… Roland: Yes, I do. DM: Ok, it’s Fire Building. Roll. In the meantime-- Roland: What the hell’s Fire Building under? DM: Survival. In the meantime, Longbeard has initiative. Roland: This should be good. DM: Keep blocking? Longbeard: No, I am going to… DM: The stench of death is hitting you [Longbeard] and you [Ulfgard]. Longbeard: Oh. Ulfgard: Ok. [to Longbeard] I guess that’s not you. Nepzillian: “I’m sorry, guys.” That’s what you hear behind you. Longbeard: I’m taking a whack. Roland: Where in the hell is… DM: Make a roll. Longbeard: [rolls die] Weapon skill in the mace, nope, that’s an 11. DM: Miss. Roland: Where the hell’s Survival at? DM: In the S’s. Roland: Oh. Ok. DM: Fire Building, so you need a d12. Nepzillian: Can I try to turn undead? Roland: [rolls die] 11! DM: You’re very close. You’re making sparks. Nepzillian: Ulfgard, let me in front. Ulfgard: [to Longbeard] Let him in front of us. Roland: Ok, I’m gonna start pulling pages out of a book. What the hell do I care? Nepzillian: No, you [let me in front]. Not him. Ulfgard: I’m gonna let Nepzillian in front [of me]. DM: Oh, I’m sorry, wait a minute. You cast a spell. That’s one fatigue point. Roland: Way to go, dufus. Ulfgard: Ok, that’s fine. DM: Ok, now what are you doing? Ulfgard: I’m stepping out of the way so Nepzillian can get in front of me. DM: Ok, just switch figures then. Longbeard: Which one’s Nep, this one? [points to a miniature] Nepzillian: The one with the shield. [pushes two miniatures together] Oops, sorry, didn’t mean to… Roland: That’s alright. That mace was in my butt. I liked it. DM: Ok, you see this elderly woman with a knife. Nepzillian: I’m going to take it I can turn undead. I’m going to find out. DM: You had to switch places, though. She’s going to attack. [rolls die] She gets a partial on you. Longbeard: Ah! DM: If you parry-- you can lose an action next turn to parry, if you want. Longbeard: [shakes his head no] DM: Four points. Wound damage. Blood drips from her knife now, and there’s a line of blood on the wall where-- Longbeard: Ow. DM: Nepzillian, what are you doing? Nepzillian: I’m going to try to turn undead. DM: That’s Spirit Lore. Do you have any Spirit Lore? Roland: Yes, he does. Ulfgard: Does he? Nepzillian: +1. Ulfgard: Yes! Roland: Hoo-hah. Ulfgard: …pulled out my spellbook. Nepzillian: I’m going to go, “witchcraft witchcraft hex hex, gitchee gitchee cats-ass.” Longbeard: Gitchee gitchee gas-ass? Roland: He said, “witchcraft witchcraft hex hex hex, gitchee gitchee ass-ass. Nepzillian: Cats-ass. Roland: Cats-ass. Gitchee gitchee cats-ass. Longbeard: Witchcraft witchcraft hex hex hex. Roland: Gitchee gitchee cats-ass. Longbeard: Oh my. [COLOR=Blue][I]This particular phrase eventually became a standard mantra used whenever the players’ felt they needed a supernatural bonus to the die roll.[/I][/COLOR][I][/I] DM: Ok, what are you doing, specifically. I mean, I want you to roleplay. Nepzillian: Well, I don’t know really. Ulfgard: “Back, foul demon!” [COLOR=Blue][I]At this point, Melanie--Ulfgard’s player’s wife--entered the room. On a whim, I decided to instruct Nepzillian to roleplay the turning of undead as if Melanie were the unholy creature being turned. Hey, whatever works.[/I][/COLOR][I][/I] DM: [points to Melanie] Do it as if she was the person [in front of you]. I want to see it. Come on. Your success depends upon it. Ulfgard: Do it. Do it. Melanie: Am I missing something? I’m missing something, aren’t I? Ulfgard: Stand right there. You are portraying the undead old lady that we’re-- that’s attacking us with a butcher knife. Longbeard: You’re the old hag with the butcher knife that just stabbed me. Ulfgard: Yeah. So, and [Nepzillian]’s getting ready to [indistinct] your undead form. Nepzillian: Which we enjoyed, but you have to go. Melanie: So I’m a dead, old woman? Ulfgard: Yes. Melanie: Oh. Roland: Go get a knife. DM: …and stab him. [points to Longbeard] Roland: Make sure there’s blood on it. Longbeard: That’s already happened, thank you. Nepzillian: I’ve still got my shield, but… “By Pelor, God of Light, depart! Go where you came from!” Ulfgard: Ooh! Melanie: I’m going. DM: Ok, she’s leaving, so… Longbeard: …it works! Nepzillian: I scared the hell out of her. Ulfgard: You rock! She’s in there going, “What a bunch of morons.” Roland: Right now she’s thinking, “Any of you guys get laid in high school?” No! [COLOR=Blue][I]TO BE CONTINUED[/I][/COLOR][I][/I] [/QUOTE]
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Transcription of a D&D session - The Cult of Tentacles (updated 11/7)
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