Transform this James Bond quote...

[Steverooo]

Watching Moonraker earlier, and when he first gets in the chopper with Ms. Dufour, she declares "I am just a humble pilot employed by Drax Industries."

Who talks like that?

People up to no good, that's who. Although it turns out that she's not a villain, I was thinking that was a hilarious line and it could be turned into some D&D humor.

So.....transform that line into a D&D villain's cheesy exposition.

"I am just a humble plot employed by the DM."

 

[Corinthi]

"I'm just a simple herdsman, carrying the various gifts the women of my village gave me. I merely wish to complete my quest so that I may return home to my wife."

 

[AngelTears]

"I am a but a simple half-orc refugee fleeing war."

-AngelTears

 

[Gez]

"I am just a humble plot employed by the DM."

Nigh winner!

"I am just a humble plot device employed by the DM." would be better.


I am but a humble...

• scholar employed by the mages' guild.
• councilor employed by Baron Arkvilen.
• interpret employed by the goblin king.
• merchant employed by my guild.
• unofficial revenue collector employed by the Wealth Redistribution Committee.

 

[shilsen]

I am just a humble bloodthirsty undead out to get a drink.

 

[Storminator]

My newest character's actual motto:

I'm just a lonely hero of the godess of love...

PS

 

[megamania]

"I am just a good rogue assuring others of not losing their gold to thieves."

 

[alsih2o]

"i am just a humble recluse who collects other peoples tattos"

"i am just a humble shopkeeper. how was i to know that the ever-bleeding shrieking dagger that emits darkness was evil?"

"i am just a humble man of the trees. this is my best friend, he is just a humble winter wolf who hangs out with me in the trees. here are my other humble friends- a humble dire badger, my humble swarm of giant bees and the humble tiger i call 'boo"

 

[herald]

"I'm just a humble adventurer, give me all of your stuff!"

 

[Altalazar]

"I'm a pacifist."