Two new homebrewed spells

[WhatGravitas]

Some more or less random spells (but needed for my new villain), so... need spell critique!

Cloud of Shards
Transmutation
Level: Sor/Wiz 4
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Area: 10 ft. cube
Duration: 1 round/level
Saving Throw: Reflex, see text
Spell Resistance: No

You create a cloud of debris, with one large shard per caster level. Creatures within the cloud take damage equal half the number of large shards within the cloud per round. When the could forms, creatures can leave the area with a successful reflex save.
As a swift action, you can fire one large shard, as a move action two large shards, and as a standard action three large shards. Firing these large shards is a ranged attack, using 1d20 + your caster level + your spellcasting key ability bonus. Cover is treated as if you were standing in the center of the cloud, while concealment is treated normally from your current position. The shards have a range of 100 ft. and deal 1d6 damage per shard.
Once all shards are used up, the spell ends.
Material Component: A handful shards.


Vengeful Buffer
Abjuration
Level: Sor/Wiz 3
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Personal
Target: You
Duration: 1 minute/level

You gain damage reduction 10/magic against ranged weapons. Once the spell has prevented a total of 10 points of damage per caster level (maximum 100 points), it is discharged.
As an immediate action, you can change the target of a ranged attack made with a ranged attack against you, as long as you can see the new target. Doing so ends this spell immediately.

Cheers, LT.

 

[Pyrex]

You should be clearer what types of attacks Vengeful Buffer allows you to reflect. Is it your intent to allow a Disintegrate ray to be reflected? Also, how do you determine if the attack hits the new target?

 

[Primitive Screwhead]

Interesting spells...

Cloud of Shards
... When the could forms, creatures can leave the area with a successful reflex save.

Ooh.. bad fluff text. Simply have Ref negate,.. leaving out the 'leave area' = movement = can o worms.

As a swift action, you can fire one large shard, as a move action two large shards, and as a standard action three large shards. Firing these large shards is a ranged attack, using 1d20 + your caster level + your spellcasting key ability bonus. Cover is treated as if you were standing in the center of the cloud, while concealment is treated normally from your current position. The shards have a range of 100 ft. and deal 1d6 damage per shard.
Once all shards are used up, the spell ends.
Material Component: A handful shards.

Range of 100 ft... from you or from the cloud?
Multiple shards = multiple targets or single target per action?
If single target, does DR count against the individual shard or against the bunch?


Vengeful Buffet's name doesn't sound quite right... unless there is a chance for dysentery

 

[Quartz]

Some more or less random spells (but needed for my new villain), so... need spell critique!

Cloud of Shards
Transmutation

Shouldn't this be Conjuration or Evocation?

You create a cloud of debris, with one large shard per caster level. Creatures within the cloud take damage equal half the number of large shards within the cloud per round.

1 HP per 2 shards?

When the could forms, creatures can leave the area with a successful reflex save.
As a swift action, you can fire one large shard, as a move action two large shards, and as a standard action three large shards. Firing these large shards is a ranged attack, using 1d20 + your caster level + your spellcasting key ability bonus.

Are the shards force effects or what?

Cover is treated as if you were standing in the center of the cloud, while concealment is treated normally from your current position.

I don't understand this. How can a cloud - particularly one so small - provide cover or concealment?

The shards have a range of 100 ft. and deal 1d6 damage per shard.

The damage seems a little low, especially compared with Flaming Sphere. And despite the firing of one shard being a Swift action, most spellcasters will make their Concentration checks at that level.

Seems more like a 2nd level spell to me.

 

[WhatGravitas]

You should be clearer what types of attacks Vengeful Buffer allows you to reflect. Is it your intent to allow a Disintegrate ray to be reflected? Also, how do you determine if the attack hits the new target?

Ah, mistyped... I meant ranged weapons. It's basically an improved Protection from Arrows.

Ooh.. bad fluff text. Simply have Ref negate,.. leaving out the 'leave area' = movement = can o worms.

What about the Blade Barrier text: "Each such creature can avoid the wall (ending up on the side of its choice) and thus take no damage by making a successful Reflex save."
Better? Or just making it Reflex negates.

Range of 100 ft... from you or from the cloud?
Multiple shards = multiple targets or single target per action?
If single target, does DR count against the individual shard or against the bunch?

Ah, many things to clarify. I just have no clue how to word it without getting too much text, but basically I meant one target per shard, all treated individually. And range is measured from the cloud.
Also note, that nothing in the description prevents you from blowing your swift, move AND standard action on it for a total of six shards.

Shouldn't this be Conjuration or Evocation?

You're right, it's Conjuration (Creation).

1 HP per 2 shards?

Yes, I guess I should also add a "rounded down", right?

Are the shards force effects or what?

Normal damage, I'll add "Piercing damage".

I don't understand this. How can a cloud - particularly one so small - provide cover or concealment?

I meant for the purpose of cover and concealment against attacks from the cloud. Cover is from the point of view of the cloud - as the shards fly out of the cloud, while the caster (who directs it) uses his own senses for the purpose of concealment, meaning the caster can fire it at a target he doesn't have a line of effect to (but the cloud), but still sees.

E.g. You cast the spell, seal yourself off with a wall of force. You lose line of effect, but you still see the targets, hence you can still fire the shards at your targets without penalty.

The damage seems a little low, especially compared with Flaming Sphere. And despite the firing of one shard being a Swift action, most spellcasters will make their Concentration checks at that level.

The spell is, as I've said above, intended to have no restriction on the number of actions you use on it, hence you can cast a spell (standard action) and blow your move AND swift action into it for 3d6 damage.

Will update first post later...

Cheers, LT.

 

[Primitive Screwhead]

A wall, generally, follows the edge of a square. In the event it splits a square the character can choose which side it ends up on in the same square.

Your spell has an area effect that the character would have to leave the square to escape the spell... so better to leave it simply as Ref Negates

Possibly something like:

You create a number of metal shards equal to your caster level. Initially these shards swarm and area of 10' radious dealing 1 point of damage per shard to any character it envelops. The caster can chose to propel one or more shards at a target, each one striking as a thrown weapon for 1D6 damage. The caster can propel 1 shard with a swift action, 2 shards with a move action, and/or 3 shards with a standard action. The target(s) cannot have cover compared to the location of the shard swarm or concealment from the caster. Use 1D20 + caster level + prime casting stat modifier against normal AC to determine hits. The shards have a 20' range increment counted from the swarm.
The shards are destroyed when propelled, and any not used before the spell ends dissapear.

or not

One note, because it is a series of single attacks, DR could completely nerf this. Perhaps had a boost to the damage along the lines of 1D6 + Chr mod?

 

[Quartz]

Will update first post later...

Please don't; post anew. It makes following the thread so much easier.