Unexpected Guests: Look whose coming to dinner?

[DonTadow]

It's Saturday night and game time is showing up. YOu've prepared what you think the party is going to do for this session. All of the players file into the living room. The last players to come, your favorite married couple, have brought their 9 -year old daughter. They didn't call and tell you and don't explain why she's there the course of the night or even afterwards. What do you do? Do you question them immediately? Roll a character for the daughter and try to get her to play? take the couple into a room and scold them? Tone down your game (if you have to)?

What do you do?

What if the unexpected guest was an adult? Does your reaction change?

 

[the Jester]

My game is full. Unexpected guests are welcome to (quietly) watch, and it is not unheard of for me to give them an npc to play, but I don't have room for drop-in players.

If it's a disruptive guest, they might have to call it an early night. If it's a couple and child (we fortunately don't have any of those in out group- avoids issues like this) all three might have to call it an early night.

 

[frankthedm]

The only player in my group who has a kid knows not to do this.

The closiest thing is the unexpected girlfriend. Who I personally do my damnedest to make feel uncomfotable. No player that i want to keep would bring thier S.O. to my game. it is a guy's night out sort of deal.

 

[Rothe]

Having children of my own I can easily understand why the 9 year old is their, probably the baby-sitter fell through. I'd probably set her up in another room with a movie, books, whatever she is interested in, unless she really wanted to play or hang-out with her parents. If she wanted to hang-out I might try to explain to her what is going on and let her chime in with suggestions for the players. She might really get into the problem solving aspects of the game and from my experience, people that coem to the game for the first time often have alot of insightful ideas un-fettered by preconceptions.

I wouldn't let her play her own character as a 9 year old may get upset if things don't go well for them.

I'd most likely tone down some aspects of my game, but the adult themes as they exist (e.g. evils creatures are very evil, torture, kill children etc.) or even need to be touched on can be described in an oblique fashion that adults can get but shouldn't freak out a 9 year old. Probably nothing worse than she's already been exposed to via the news.

If the 9 year old is rude or disruptive, well this is a matter of manners, which I'm sure her parents can handle.

[EDIT] Forgot the part about an adult. Not so interested in an adult showing up as long as they are interested in the game. Well aware how many feel about RPGs and don't need a wet blanket and won't tolerate snide comments. You come into my home you show respect for my guests and our hobby or you leave.

 

[lukelightning]

It all depends on if the kid is a gamer or not.

If yes, I'd include her somehow. My stereotypical view of 9-year-old girls is that they like horses, kitties and fairies. If she knows the rules, just find an animal she likes and have her play an awakened animal. Or pseudodragon, or something like that.

If no: well, she can either watch TV in the other room or some other activity.

In any case it's rude to bring an univited guest; if the couple couldn't get a babysitter then one of 'em should have stayed home with her.

 

[Haltherrion]

What do you do?

You know, we had that happen except with a 6 year old boy who was going to watch, then started helping his dad, then had his own characters. (He is 12 now).

It hasn't been without problems but it was basically the only way we were going to keep the player and he is a very good friend. All in all, I would prefered that he had not played but he is improving with age.

He is a fine kid but with a kid around you've got to watch the swearing, the gore and the innuendos. Also not so good with complicated plots. Puts a damper on things. But with every passing year, that is less of a problem.

Anyway, what do you do? We talked at the time but if I had to do it again, I get the entire group together and discuss the impact to the game of having a kid around. If people were okay with it, so be it. But be sure to look at the long term. Of course, if it was truly just a one time thing and not the beginning of a new player, then watching seems fine.

 

[Haltherrion]

What do you do?

You know, we had that happen except with a 6 year old boy who was going to watch, then started helping his dad, then had his own characters. (He is 12 now).

It hasn't been without problems but it was basically the only way we were going to keep the player and he is a very good friend. All in all, I would prefered that he had not played but he is improving with age.

He is a fine kid but with a kid around you've got to watch the swearing, the gore and the innuendos. Also not so good with complicated plots. Puts a damper on things. But with every passing year, that is less of a problem.

Anyway, what do you do? We talked at the time but if I had to do it again, I get the entire group together and discuss the impact to the game of having a kid around. If people were okay with it, so be it. But be sure to look at the long term. Of course, if it was truly just a one time thing and not the beginning of a new player, then watching seems fine.

 

[Len]

First of all, it's certainly rude of the parents not to ask first, or even mention why they brought an unexpected guest. I don't much mind an extra person, but still.

Most likely they couldn't get a sitter. I'd certainly welcome the kid in that case, but I wouldn't let her sit in on the game unless she already knew how to play. She can watch, and play with the unused minis.

If the unexpected guest is an adult, well, what was that person expecting? Were they invited to play, or just to hang out? If one of the players invited a friend to join the game without mentioning it to the DM, I'd kick that player out and give their character to the new guy. Chances are he's less of a jerk.

 

[merelycompetent]

How I handle it:

1. I make it clear before the game starts what kind of game I'm running: Adult, teen, or clean fun. "Adult" game mean it has mature themes (movie rating R), "teen" game means it has violence, blood, and swearing (movie rating PG-13); "clean fun" means bloodless violence, no swearing, and is probably comedy-oriented. I don't run games for typical young children.

2. I make it clear before the game starts how to handle guests, kibitzers (guests who are interested in the game), or children: Notify the DM as early as possible, to expect a guest --> This is a requirement if you're going to play. Kibitzers are welcome and told before the game starts to please observe good manners and don't interrupt players or the DM. Children are given a quiet room with parent-provided toys; other players are cordially reminded that the parents/guardians may have to interrupt the game to deal with children, and this is no different than a work pager going off in the middle of combat because the primary server crashed - so Watch The Language.

3. Players who don't call the DM before bringing over uninvited guests get a private talking-to the next day, a reminder of what kind of game I run, and what is considered common courtesy at my gaming table. You see, that phone call before the game starts gives me (or the host, if it's not at my place) 30 minutes or so to set up an extra chair or make the guest room child-safe, make sure I have enough soda/juice/snacks for everyone, and so forth. Showing up on my doorstep with a surprise guest means that everyone else has to wait while I deal with the problem that someone rudely just dumped on me.

4. Repeat offenders get two warnings to get their act together and stop dumping their problems on everyone else at the table. If that doesn't fix it, then they get kicked out of the game. That does fix it.

5. Guests are expected to act as good guests. Guests who don't act as such are shown the door. Children are still learning how to be good guests, so the parents/guardian are given leeway... as they take their portable temper tantrum home.

I have had to kick one player from a game I ran for passing the two warnings stage when his best bud was visiting over one summer, years ago.

 

[Haltherrion]

What do you do?

You know, we had that happen except with a 6 year old boy who was going to watch, then started helping his dad, then had his own characters. (He is 12 now).

It hasn't been without problems but it was basically the only way we were going to keep the player and he is a very good friend. All in all, I would prefered that he had not played but he is improving with age.

He is a fine kid but with a kid around you've got to watch the swearing, the gore and the innuendos. Also not so good with complicated plots. Puts a damper on things. But with every passing year, that is less of a problem.

Anyway, what do you do? We talked at the time but if I had to do it again, I'd get the entire group together and discuss the impact to the game of having a kid around. If people were okay with it, so be it. But be sure to look at the long term. Of course, if it was truly just a one time thing and not the beginning of a new player, then watching seems fine.