Unexpected Guests: Look whose coming to dinner?

[DonTadow]

Having children of my own I can easily understand why the 9 year old is their, probably the baby-sitter fell through. I'd probably set her up in another room with a movie, books, whatever she is interested in, unless she really wanted to play or hang-out with her parents. If she wanted to hang-out I might try to explain to her what is going on and let her chime in with suggestions for the players. She might really get into the problem solving aspects of the game and from my experience, people that coem to the game for the first time often have alot of insightful ideas un-fettered by preconceptions.

I wouldn't let her play her own character as a 9 year old may get upset if things don't go well for them.

I'd most likely tone down some aspects of my game, but the adult themes as they exist (e.g. evils creatures are very evil, torture, kill children etc.) or even need to be touched on can be described in an oblique fashion that adults can get but shouldn't freak out a 9 year old. Probably nothing worse than she's already been exposed to via the news.

If the 9 year old is rude or disruptive, well this is a matter of manners, which I'm sure her parents can handle.

[EDIT] Forgot the part about an adult. Not so interested in an adult showing up as long as they are interested in the game. Well aware how many feel about RPGs and don't need a wet blanket and won't tolerate snide comments. You come into my home you show respect for my guests and our hobby or you leave.

In my own personal experience, the players brought their kid and never told me about it (this happened two months ago) and still havnt brought it up to this day. It wasn't a matter of the babysitter falling through (they have 2 other kids and they were at the babysitters). I got from a couple of conversations the parents had yelling at the child during game that the child asked to come and the mom didnt want to say no. (at the end of session I heard the mom say see i told you you wern't missing anything). From the conversation it sounded like the child didn't have to come, but wanted to.

 

[Chimera]

If the 9 year old is rude or disruptive, well this is a matter of manners, which I'm sure her parents can handle.

And if they don't?

Unfortunately, I have known a few parents of young children who consider "discipline" (ie, structure and rules) to be "abuse". Even in other people's houses, they not only let their children run wild, but vehemently attack anyone unwise enough to suggest that their children are acting inappropriately.

 

[Chimera]

In my current and last apartments, as well in my long-lost house, I didn't have another room where I could shuffle off a child to entertain themselves. Other rooms, yes. Where a child could hang out, no.

I also have very old cats and my house is NOT child-proof. I have guns (some easily accessible, as I carry one for work), swords, martial arts weapons, fragile artwork, lots of plants and on and on. No way I'd feel comfortable allowing an unsupervised child loose in another room.

Game wise, I've played in games that have been kept PG for the sake of children present, but it would annoy the heck out of me to have to suddenly change things because I (or the parents) didn't want certain subjects aired in front of their child.

So I'd have to say that these guests would get an sincere apology that they were not able to stay and game, followed by an escort out the door and a suggestion that they not do this again, at least without talking to me first.

 

[el-remmen]

Do they not have cell phones in the magical land that this scenario takes place?

 

[Sejs]

Either set them up with something to do in another room (TV, computer, whatever). If they want to watch, that's fine too - roll the dice for their mom or dad, move minatures, etc. If the youngin' wants to partake in the game itself, I'll probably just whistle up a character that's essentially the squire/assistant/helper of one of their parent's character. Just sort of drop the new guy in with a wink and a smile, they've always been there, honest. I'll probably make an effort to be a tad less descriptive in combat, just to hedge things on the safe side.

If I were a player in a game where this happened, I'd probably do what I could to hold my tongue somewhat. It can run away with me from time to time, heh.

 

[merelycompetent]

In my own personal experience, the players brought their kid and never told me about it (this happened two months ago) and still havnt brought it up to this day. It wasn't a matter of the babysitter falling through (they have 2 other kids and they were at the babysitters). I got from a couple of conversations the parents had yelling at the child during game that the child asked to come and the mom didnt want to say no. (at the end of session I heard the mom say see i told you you wern't missing anything). From the conversation it sounded like the child didn't have to come, but wanted to.

It sounds to me like the players were very rude to you - and to the child. Conversations do NOT include yelling. But I wasn't there, and the situation has been filtered both by time and your viewpoint, so YMMV. If it's been that long ago, I wouldn't bring it up again with any of the players. It happened months ago. You can't change it. Move on and try to keep it from happening again.

(Yelling at a potential new gamer...?!? I wish some of my players' kids were old enough to be interested. I might actually run a child-oriented game.)

I'd suggest talking to all of your players and setting a few table rules - what is and is not acceptable when you are DMing (email or a campaign webpage are great for this). If you're DMing over at someone else's house, make sure you have your own transport so you can leave if it becomes necessary. Then give it a month or three (with reminders such as, "Guys, I'd like to take a moment to clarify Table Rule #3..." every 2-3 weeks/sessions) to settle in before you start gradual enforcement. Make reading the table rules a requirement to play in your game. There is absolutely no point in DMing or Playing if you're going to be miserable. Believe me. I re-learned it the hard way.

 

[Queen_Dopplepopolis]

I would probably say something like "Hey - what's (insert daughter's name here) doing here?!" in as cheery a tone as possible because that's the sort of warm, happy gaming host I am.

If she was interested in the game, I'd have her play something with wings and a wand. If she wasn't, I'd throw in a Disney movie, keep her loaded up on snacks, and provide all the coloring books I could get my hands on for her to keep herself occupied.

I don't think I'd be happy with the couple that did it, but I wouldn't make a deal of it until after the session was over. Have a nice grown up talk about how you don't appreciate that sort of thing being sprung on you.

 

[MavrickWeirdo]

What do you do?

Does anybody have a Familiar?

Well they do now.

 

[Harmon]

Had a similar situation last year. New Player asked if his kids could join the group, I warned him that I would not alter my language, that the campaign tone would stay the say (mostly R to PG13), to let me know when he plans to bring them so I can do a few things about the house, and that I would not tolerate being asked/told to tone down in front of his kids.

The gang starts rolling in one day, my wife and I have to go to a party and will return just a few hours before the game's normal end so I tell them not to expect us in one the game. We leave without knowing or seeing said player/GM and return to find him and his kids there. I was mad only in that I was not told that they were going to show- that I did not have the chance to put a few "things" away. I said nothing about it to him, in fact I enjoyed his kids game time, they were respectful, kind, and all in all the kids that everyone wants and dreams to have as their own.

It was the last time I saw them.

General rule- be up front, but be a little flexible and it should work out.

 

[DonTadow]

It sounds to me like the players were very rude to you - and to the child. Conversations do NOT include yelling. But I wasn't there, and the situation has been filtered both by time and your viewpoint, so YMMV. If it's been that long ago, I wouldn't bring it up again with any of the players. It happened months ago. You can't change it. Move on and try to keep it from happening again.

(Yelling at a potential new gamer...?!? I wish some of my players' kids were old enough to be interested. I might actually run a child-oriented game.)

I'd suggest talking to all of your players and setting a few table rules - what is and is not acceptable when you are DMing (email or a campaign webpage are great for this). If you're DMing over at someone else's house, make sure you have your own transport so you can leave if it becomes necessary. Then give it a month or three (with reminders such as, "Guys, I'd like to take a moment to clarify Table Rule #3..." every 2-3 weeks/sessions) to settle in before you start gradual enforcement. Make reading the table rules a requirement to play in your game. There is absolutely no point in DMing or Playing if you're going to be miserable. Believe me. I re-learned it the hard way.

Oh, its not a problem I didn't address it because I didn't think it would happen again (half of the couple ended up leaving the campaign). I was just curious how others would have handled it. I did the cheery voice thing and offered to let her play a child NPC. I did find it rude (and still do). I didnt know if an emergency happened or if she was just taking advantage of me because a few months before the incident, she called before game and asked if her daughter could come because she couldnt get a babysitter for the older one. I didn't mind, but i hated that the child's entertainment depended on me and my very very very low selection of pg games (I sure hope burnout is pg). This time it was just out of the blue and I was in my bed room and walked out and low and behold there's a kid in my spot.
I set the game times based around this couples babysitting schedule, so it was annoying to not get a heads up.