Useless arcane or divine spells

[Sigdel]

Ok, I have been gaming since I was seven and playing D&D since I was fourteen (I am twenty-two now) and I was wondering, what is the most useless spell you have ever seen? I have seen some pretty bad ones, like one that lets the caster read faster. What I consider useless is a spell that would come up only once in a great while. Like a spell that causes sand to change colour or something, you get my point.

 

[Kelleris]

Hey, I had my 13th-level 2e Conjurer learn a spell to allow him to read faster! It cut a long period of spell research down by a couple of decades, so I'd hardly call it useless, at least in my case.

Most of the "useless" spells nowadays are rolled into prestidigitation, among them the aforementioned sand-color changing effect.

 

[Umbran]

What I consider useless is a spell that would come up only once in a great while. Like a spell that causes sand to change colour or something, you get my point.

Actually, depending on your world, "useless" spells would likely be very common, because "useless" is relative.

Adventuring is a highly specialized profession. The spells in the PHB really are designed to fit that specialty. But what if most of the spellcasters aren't adventurers? What if they hang around town and do more mundane stuff, like reading? Then that "useless" spell suddenly becomes very useful for them. In a day to day life, I expect (and hope) that most folks have more reason to change the color of sand than to throw lightning from their fingertips

 

[VirgilCaine]

Adventuring is a highly specialized profession. The spells in the PHB really are designed to fit that specialty. But what if most of the spellcasters aren't adventurers? What if they hang around town and do more mundane stuff, like reading? Then that "useless" spell suddenly becomes very useful for them. In a day to day life, I expect (and hope) that most folks have more reason to change the color of sand than to throw lightning from their fingertips

How is changing the color of sand more practical than being able to zap nasty attackers?

 

[Torm]

How is changing the color of sand more practical than being able to zap nasty attackers?

If you're making sand art, maybe? It's a matter of what you're primarily doing - and I think the point was that one would hope that even in a campaign world MOST people aren't having to deal with monsters and villains MOST of the time - the rarity of the people who are is why those people (the adventurers) are special. Some of the rest may even spend a lot of free time making sand art.

 

[Voadam]

Ok, I have been gaming since I was seven and playing D&D since I was fourteen (I am twenty-two now) and I was wondering, what is the most useless spell you have ever seen? I have seen some pretty bad ones, like one that lets the caster read faster. What I consider useless is a spell that would come up only once in a great while. Like a spell that causes sand to change colour or something, you get my point.

I too had a spell in a previous campaign that allowed speed reading, it was great for spell learning and mundane research. I thought it was really useful because down time was such an issue in that game.

I always thought affect normal fires from previous editions was a really tough one to make useful. It did not make things hotter, just affected the amount of time it took to burn something, so perhaps you could cast it on an oil flask to get two rounds of burning out of it.

 

[hero4hire]

False Life compared to Bears Endurance becomes pretty useless at at higher levels

 

[WayneLigon]

How is changing the color of sand more practical than being able to zap nasty attackers?

Vastly more so. If you can change the color of sand, you can make colored glass. Colored glass is useful in a lot of ways, all of which make you more money than plain glass. You make more money, you can support a larger family, eat better, dress better, etc. Much more useful to the general run of humanity, most of whom never meet a nasty attacker through their entire lives.

If D&D spells were done with an eye to the world rather than with an eye towards heroic adventuring, you'd see far more spells like Major Repair or Purify Water than Shield.

 

[Lord Pendragon]

For a paladin: Greater Magic Weapon, Dispel Magic, Virtue, Cure Serious Wounds...

 

[Saeviomagy]

False Life compared to Bears Endurance becomes pretty useless at at higher levels

Unless you actually know the rules.

I mean honestly. I can't think of a single way in which bears endurance wins out on this one.