Vampires: Mathematics Proves WotC is (un)Dead wrong

[Remathilis]

Far MORE dangerously would be the werewolf epidemic that a single scratch from a werewolf (even an afflicted one) could cause lycanthropy would be far more dangerous. Heck, we'd ALL be werewolves by now...

'scuse me, it nearly midnight and I have to go shave...

 

[Cthulhudrew]

Of course it is. If someone annoys you, apply the usual stuff: Stake through the heart, head cut off, filled with holy wafers and bury at several different crossroads. If he was human - hey, how could you know? He had a pale complexion, talked about drinking blood, and read Anne Rice. If you're no vampire, don't act like one. I mean, come on! That's just a stake through the heart waiting to happen!

Hm- wonder how long before we see some suspected murderer turn up in court with the "he was a vampire, he needed killin'' justification?

 

[El Ravager]

As many have mentioned, vampires creating more and more vampires is not the problem. Wights, as also mentioned, are the problem. I am running the AoW adventure path and an event midway through the campaign has the potential to create a hell of a lot of wights. I started to think about it, the wights could get out of control real fast. Not just impact the city, but the whole region, if not the world.

Wights are bad.

 

[Dirigible]

Wights are bad.

Racist.

I remember coming across something like this while studying predator / prey equilibriums. As I recall, the one I read was specific to Sunndale and also figured in 'number of vampires killed by Buffy', as others have alluded to.

 

[Kae'Yoss]

Wights are bad.

I dare you to go to the next Wight Supremacy gathering and shout it out.

 

[Odhanan]

I see the "logic" of this "professor" to be completely flawed. It assumes a fixed rate of propagation, doesn't care about whether the Vampires can restrain themselves or not, whether some would be destroyed in some major events, etc etc. That's a purely theoretical "bubble" reasoning. Ergo, that has no value whatsoever.

And really, trying to make sense on a mathematical level of a myth such as Vampires is a bit like wondering, to me, whether the Grail "truly existed" or other non-sense. To take the Grail example, to me the Grail is real thing since it inspired so many people and speaks about some genuine aspects of human experience. Therefore, Vampires are real in the sense they depict some genuine aspects of human psyche.

I know, this is an OP in the "Humor" category. I'll try to restrain myself in the future. Sorry for the rant.

 

[Maldin]

It's pretty obvious that Professor Costas Efthimiou is a disinformation agent in the pay of the Vampire Conspiracy. Or possibly even a vampire himself. I'm off to stake him through the heart.

Clearly.

The prefered low-level targets, cremation of victims, non-spawning spawn, hunting of vampires (and any vamp population explosion will attract loads of attention), etc., has already been discussed. What I didn't see mentioned was the long periods of hibernation without victims.

Basically, what we have here is someone with a calculator that loves publicity, chooses ridiculous topics that he knows will garner that publicity, and has some direct line to someone in the press who will publish his inconsequential rantings (because of his long history of such ridiculous publicity). As a university prof, if I called up a random reporter from the national press with such a ridiculous announcement, they'd hang up on me thinking I was a crank.

Denis, aka "Maldin"
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Maldin's Greyhawk http://melkot.com

 

[Cthulhudrew]

There's more to this guy's theories than vampires, I read:

Using science, Efthimiou explains why it is ghosts can’t walk among us while also gliding through walls.

Ghosts violate Newton’s law of action and reaction. If ghosts walk, it means their feet apply force to the floor, but if they can go through a wall, that means they are without substance, the professor says.

“So which is it? Are ghosts material or material-less?” he asks.

Why would you have to apply force to the floor in order to walk? If, as one presumes, ghosts are able to float/fly, couldn't they simply float so near to the floor as if to appear to be walking?

 

[Razz]

Uh, um... isn't there's something called "blood doll"?

A vampire can keep a few victims alive and feeding off them whenever he needs to indefinitely, until he needs new victims.

I distinctly remember reading somewhere (maybe it was Libris Mortis) that a vampire can get his daily sustenance of blood from a victim without causing Constitution drain (dealing Constitution damage instead) but would need double the amount to be satisifed.

For example, if a vampire needed to drain 4 points of Constitution drain to be sated, then it would take 8 points of Constitution damage to be sated.

 

[greywulf]

If vampires exist, therefore mathematics doesn't.

Simple, really.

Which explains why saying "Count, Dracula" got him so annoyed. He can't.

Thank you, and goodnight.