Was I too nice?

[cougent]

Well since NO ONE ELSE has mentioned it, maybe you should have communicated with the DM sooner.

Sigurd raised an excellent point that you were probably to patient waiting for things to change, and similar to C W Richeson I would offer that you should have approached the DM and made inquiries about your PC's involvement. Perhaps a direct 1 on 1 about what his feelings are on having a rogue in the group.
[if he "doesn't see the need for one" for example, then there may be no solution other than you rolling up another PC, which may not be acceptable to you, but at least you would know]

OK, treading very lightly here, on the subject of small children...
A few years ago my best friends had a small child, and of course he brought him over with him whenever he came over, and that was fine; EXCEPT I do not have small children and my house is FAR from "child safe / child proof". So my friend, who is still my best friend today, would start to rearrange my house in an effort to make it kid friendly so his toddler could run around footloose and not get hurt. I certainly did not want the boy hurt either, nor did I want my stuff destroyed, but I also was not real fond of having to go back and un-rearrange my house after they left every time. We got through it, but it was a stressor. The gist of this is that the DM may have had "kid stress" as well and may have transferred thate to you. No knowledge of this of course, just a theory. Talk with any new potential DM's and see how they feel about kids being there during the game. Make sure to find a DM that is ok with having kids there, or better yet has kids so that you are (somewhat) sure that his house is "kid friendly" and not like mine "kid death trap in waiting".

 

[Infiniti2000]

I also have kids, one 3.5 and the other 1.5. My wife and I have both been gaming in the same group for many years now, probably at least 15. We have taken time off here and there, for the kids or other reasons, and so have others in the group. I mention all this to point out that it therefore cannot be a fault of having your daughter.

Surely, earlier communication would have helped, but even from what little you have written already, it seems obvious the DM and the DM's partner had other, more significant, issues with you and your husband. Quite frankly, it's probably a good thing you left and as apparently amicably as you did. No way would I let anyone get away with calling my wife a bad mother on any account.

It sucks that y'all have had so much trouble finding a good group. I recommend only joining up with people who are not so immature as the last group(s) you had. If it means no gaming for a while, then so be it. No gaming is better than bad gaming, which would have the opposite effect on your husband, aggravating any stress he feels.

 

[moritheil]

You should not have to apologize for not attending if you are not enjoying it.

 

[Tewligan]

Hm - I'm going to say that showing up and then mostly ignoring the game to play with your baby instead ISN'T being too nice. It's distracting to everyone else, and really kinda disrespectful. That's the opposite of being too nice, in fact!

 

[Jdvn1]

I was talking to a girl at a con the other day, and she said that she had started playing D&D, but wasn't a good player.

"There's only one thing you need to do to be a good player." I told her.
"What's that?"
"Have fun."

D&D is a game. The object is to have fun. If you're not having fun, you shouldn't be in the game. Either find a new game or try to work it out with the GM, but waiting it out probably isn't the way to go.

 

[meomwt]

Because we have two little ones (3 and 2), our gaming group meets at our place. We schedule the game for evenings and have them in bed (hopefully) by the time people arrive. It's the best solution for us.

One of the players recently had a baby, his g/f has been playing as well, and she had to bring the little one with her one night (for feeds, etc.). It worked OK as having to look after him wasn't too distracting (except for the DM, who's getting broody whilst his wife isn't ).