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NOW LIVE! Into the Woods--new character species, eerie monsters, and haunting villains to populate the woodlands of your D&D games.
Welcome to the Halmae (updated 2/27/07)
- Thread starter spyscribe
- Start date
LightPhoenix
First Post
In the persuit of true insanity, I read the entire story (400 or so pages of StevenAC's awesome PDF) in but two days. I either have no life, or this is some of the most enthralling stuff I've read in a while. Or maybe a little bit of both. 
spyscribe
First Post
Welcome LightPheonix! And have fun with the pantheon Ero Gaki. We certainly do.
This is kind of a franken-sidebar, with some update goodness along with details of the loot from Barnabus' Bag of Holding. If I get to it before the weekend there might be another story update this week, but if not, there should be the usual one on Wednesday.
Sidebar
From Barnabus’ Bag of Holding
As Barnabus has already left the room, Reyu turns to Testy. “Perhaps… you could tell us about these… items?”
“Of course,” Testy replies.
He picks up the leather armor. It looks like it should be dripping oil onto the floor, and yet somehow, it isn’t. He holds it out to Eva. “Try and grab it.” She hesitates. “Go on…” he urges.
Eva cautiously grips the edge of the breast-plate. Then she tries again. Her fingers slide right off, as though the armor has been greased, but her fingers don’t come away oily.
“What the hell?”
“Very useful for grappling,” Testy informs her.
Eva lets out a low whistle. “Like a greased pig.”
Testy blinks. “I don’t know. I’ve never greased a pig… That would be an interesting experiment.”
“Not for the pig,” Woodsy objects.
“Have you ever asked one?”
Anvil clears his throat. “Perhaps you could tell us about the other items?” he suggests.
“Certainly.”
As Testy begins to describe the properties of the other items in the heap, the party’s jaws drop.
###
(Note to players in the game: It is here that my notes fail me. I’m not sure who took some of this stuff. Let me know if I got something wrong.)
Slick Armor – Leather, appears coated with oil. +5 competence bonus to Escape Artist checks. Taken by Eva.
Dagger of Returning - Taken by someone.
Thundering Warhammer - extra 1d8 sonic damage on a crit. DC 14 save for target, or permanently deafened. Taken by Anvil.
Ring of Feather Fall – Taken by Thatch
Ring of Protection +2 – Taken by Reyu?
Ring of the Ram – Taken by Anvil
Immovable Rod – Taken by Thatch
Wand of Magic Missile (7th Level) – Saved for Annika?
Folding Boat – Held by Kiara
Bracers of Armor +3 – Taken by Kiara
Cloak of Charisma +2 – Saved for Lira
Bag of Holding – Taken by Kiara
Periapt of Wisdom +2 – Saved for Lira
Slippers of Spiderclimb – Taken by Eva
Horseshoes of the Zephyr – Taken by Thatch for Bob
Bracers of Archery, Lesser – Taken by Reyu?
Bow of Blood-Seeking – Taken by Reyu
This is kind of a franken-sidebar, with some update goodness along with details of the loot from Barnabus' Bag of Holding. If I get to it before the weekend there might be another story update this week, but if not, there should be the usual one on Wednesday.
Sidebar
From Barnabus’ Bag of Holding
As Barnabus has already left the room, Reyu turns to Testy. “Perhaps… you could tell us about these… items?”
“Of course,” Testy replies.
He picks up the leather armor. It looks like it should be dripping oil onto the floor, and yet somehow, it isn’t. He holds it out to Eva. “Try and grab it.” She hesitates. “Go on…” he urges.
Eva cautiously grips the edge of the breast-plate. Then she tries again. Her fingers slide right off, as though the armor has been greased, but her fingers don’t come away oily.
“What the hell?”
“Very useful for grappling,” Testy informs her.
Eva lets out a low whistle. “Like a greased pig.”
Testy blinks. “I don’t know. I’ve never greased a pig… That would be an interesting experiment.”
“Not for the pig,” Woodsy objects.
“Have you ever asked one?”
Anvil clears his throat. “Perhaps you could tell us about the other items?” he suggests.
“Certainly.”
As Testy begins to describe the properties of the other items in the heap, the party’s jaws drop.
###
(Note to players in the game: It is here that my notes fail me. I’m not sure who took some of this stuff. Let me know if I got something wrong.)
Slick Armor – Leather, appears coated with oil. +5 competence bonus to Escape Artist checks. Taken by Eva.
Dagger of Returning - Taken by someone.
Thundering Warhammer - extra 1d8 sonic damage on a crit. DC 14 save for target, or permanently deafened. Taken by Anvil.
Ring of Feather Fall – Taken by Thatch
Ring of Protection +2 – Taken by Reyu?
Ring of the Ram – Taken by Anvil
Immovable Rod – Taken by Thatch
Wand of Magic Missile (7th Level) – Saved for Annika?
Folding Boat – Held by Kiara
Bracers of Armor +3 – Taken by Kiara
Cloak of Charisma +2 – Saved for Lira
Bag of Holding – Taken by Kiara
Periapt of Wisdom +2 – Saved for Lira
Slippers of Spiderclimb – Taken by Eva
Horseshoes of the Zephyr – Taken by Thatch for Bob
Bracers of Archery, Lesser – Taken by Reyu?
Bow of Blood-Seeking – Taken by Reyu
Raging Epistaxis
First Post
Oh boy.
Maybe it's just the Paranoid in me speaking out, but when I see a list of loot like that my second thought is: "Uh Oh. What will the party be going up against now?"
The first thought? "Holy S***!"
R E
Maybe it's just the Paranoid in me speaking out, but when I see a list of loot like that my second thought is: "Uh Oh. What will the party be going up against now?"
The first thought? "Holy S***!"
R E
Angcuru
First Post
This looks like it will give them a real edge against other humanoids in the world. What with the relative rarity of magic items in the Halmae. Very nice haul. In my old group we used to call those hauls "assassination bait" because of the attention they attract.
Last edited:
spyscribe
First Post
Hey all, before everyone heads out to GenCon, don't forget to stop by and say hello to "Bad Monkey" Jeff Tidball (Anvil's player) who will be working the Atlas Games booth. While you're there, get a free coin from his new game, Pieces of Eight.
If you can't make it to GenCon this year, console yourself with this map of the Halmae. A reproduction of the very one that Fajitas pulls out whenever we say, "Where's Dar Und again?"
If you can't make it to GenCon this year, console yourself with this map of the Halmae. A reproduction of the very one that Fajitas pulls out whenever we say, "Where's Dar Und again?"
Attachments
spyscribe
First Post
Part the Two-Hundred Third
In which: snippet says, “Now, refresh my memory. Is the Count a magic user, or is he just a big jerk?”
Barnabus rejoins the group and the entire assembly of party, archmage, and two constructs begin making their way to the dock. As they walk, the party asks Barnabus about magic items he made for the Count that they should be aware of.
“Oh, I’ve made plenty of things for him over the years. Most of them are personal items, self-prestidigitating garments, armor that can look like clothing, personal protection. Then there’s the various guards and wards on the Keep, and, of course, the sigil medallions, the teleport sticks— oh goodness.”
Barnabus suddenly cuts himself off, his brow knitted in concern.
“What is it?” Eva asks.
“Well, I had assumed we would just teleport to the keep, but… Hmm…. No, we can’t do that.”
“Why not?”
“I’ve warded the building against teleports. We’ll have to arrive just outside the front gates.”
“So, if we get into trouble, we can’t teleport out either?” Eva clarifies.
“Not as such, no.”
“What is your intention, exactly, when you speak to the Count?” Reyu asks.
“Well,” Barnabus considers his words. “I will inform him I intend to leave, and then I will ask him for the return of all the magic items I have crafted for him.”
“What if he refuses?” Anvil asks.
“I will destroy them,” he says simply. At this pronouncement, the party members, as one, stop cold. It takes Barnabus a few seconds to notice that he and the constructs are the only ones still walking.
“You have the power to spontaneously destroy any magic item you created?”
Barnabus smiles indulgently. “Oh no, no, no of course not… I have the power to destroy any magic item at all within forty feet. Little spell of my own design… I call it the disjunction.”
(Or, Barnabus’ Disjunction, since there is no wizard named Mordenkainen in the Halmae.)
“If it becomes necessary, I’m sure the Count has some sort of store room. We have simply to find it.”
“What if we’re within forty feet when you cast the spell?” Eva wants to know. “Will it affect our items as well?”
“Certainly.”
“Can you give us some warning before you do that?”
Banabus nods. “Well, I’ll certainly try.” His eye falls on Kiara. “You might not want to be there when the spell goes off.”
“Why? What would happen to me?”
“I have no idea.”
Testy gives Kiara an appraising look. “That would be fascinating.”
Woodsy scowls. “You think everything is fascinating. You’d think you’d always been clumping around in that thing.”
Barnabus sighs. “If you like, Woodsy, you’re more than welcome to stand in the area of effect when and if the disjunction goes off. I won’t stop you.”
Woodsy nods. “I just might.”
Eva finally brings the conversation back around to where it started. “But what about magic items the Count might have on his person? What should be we careful of?”
“Oh right, right…” Barnabus considers again. “Well, there was this spiked chain I made for the captain of the County Guard. When it hits, it delivers an electric charge—”
Anvil cuts him off. “We know of it.”
“Really? Did you see it wielded?”
Just then, the group arrives at the boat. At one end, the captured crew waits. At the other, Euro perches atop the sailcloth bundle that contains Lira’s body. His eyes narrow at the strangers.
Barnabus does in fact put two and two together. “Oh… oh… I’m terribly sorry for your loss. I mean, it’s good to know the weapon is effective, but obviously these are not the circumstances one would wish for that discovery.”
“It is another… difficulty with teleportation,” Reyu points out. “We would not want to have to leave Lira’s body behind.”
Barnabus nods. “Yes… I can see that. Awkward to have to carry her into battle, and all that… Unless…” he trails off, lost in thought.
“Unless what?” Eva asks.
“Is that her familiar?” Barnabus asks suddenly, pointing at Euro.
“Yes.”
“We could… shrink the body.”
“Shrink her?”
“Yes. I believe she would even be small enough for the weasel to carry.”
(DM quote: “And this plan is so cool, I’m not even going to have you make a ‘use rope’ check to rig up a harness.”)
Woodsy, who is able to talk to Euro, explains the situation, and the weasel grudgingly backs off long enough for Barnabus to cast shrink object on Lira’s corpse.
Euro continues to watch both Woodsy and Barnabus with great suspicion. You try anything… I’ll kill you. You get that? I can take you down. Don’t think that I can’t.
Once the deed is done, Euro runs forward. He sniffs at the now tiny (or to be precise: fine) bundle, and through Woodsy relays his cautious satisfaction. When Lira is firmly secured to his back, the party can practically see his ego inflating.
Since they aren’t going to need the skiff, the party takes the sails, and then leaves the sailors free to row themselves to whatever island they choose. They figure that wherever the sailors decide to go, they won’t be able to raise an alarm in time to do any good.
And so, as the sailors put their oars to the water, there is a sudden white flash, and the party vanishes.
###
The party materializes directly in front of the main gates of the Count’s compound. Above them, the walls loom, ten feet high and solid stone. The massive iron-clad wooden gates that stood open when they were first escorted to see the Count mere days ago, are now closed and barred.
Reyu looks up. She cannot help but notice that there are a lot more guards stationed on the wall than there were the last time they were here. At the party’s sudden appearance, they snap to attention.
At least fifteen men and women at arms immediately bring their bows to bear on the party, along with several war-mages who stand ready to cast at a moment’s notice. Eva steals a glance over at Barnabus, standing at the front of the group, flanked by Testy and Woodsy.
The archmage appears perfectly calm.
He clears his throat, and, addressing an officer stationed above the gate, announces, “We have come to speak with the Count.”
The officer says something to the soldier on his right side who in turn calls out, “Send for Lord Marmion!”
The cry is taken back along the wall, through the courtyard and onto the keep. Then, quiet falls once again over the strange gathering.
While they are waiting, Anvil looks up at the arches stationed above his head, and gives them all a withering stare.
Presently, Lord Marmion, the Count’s chamberlain, appears above the gate. Although he must have hurried over, his robes of office are unruffled, and his decorous smile, as always, in place.
He greets the archmage as though he were not backed by a small army standing ready to attack at his slightest gesture. “Barnabus. It is good to see you. We are so seldom accorded the pleasure of a visit.”
Barnabus, also apparently unconcerned by the number of armed observers, answers cordially, “Some issues have been brought to my attention which I would like to discuss with the Count.”
Marmion smiles. “Of course. And the Count would be honored to see you. However, your… associates are a different matter.”
“Hmm?”
“We would request that they be given over into our custody. They are wanted for many crimes, among them: theft, piracy, and assault on members of the County Guard.”
Barnabus appears to consider for a moment, then replies amiably. “No, no I really don’t think that would be acceptable.” He brushes his hands, as though that settles the matter. “Now, are we going to stand here all afternoon, or are you going to open up?” He smiles again and pantomimes rapping on the door.
Lord Marmion and the Guard Officer exchange a tired look. Then, Lord Marmion shrugs. “Captain… Open up.”
The captain raises his arm and with a shout, gives his men their orders. While it is not exactly the instruction the party had been hoping for, it is also, admittedly, not really a surprise.
“Fire!”
In which: snippet says, “Now, refresh my memory. Is the Count a magic user, or is he just a big jerk?”
Barnabus rejoins the group and the entire assembly of party, archmage, and two constructs begin making their way to the dock. As they walk, the party asks Barnabus about magic items he made for the Count that they should be aware of.
“Oh, I’ve made plenty of things for him over the years. Most of them are personal items, self-prestidigitating garments, armor that can look like clothing, personal protection. Then there’s the various guards and wards on the Keep, and, of course, the sigil medallions, the teleport sticks— oh goodness.”
Barnabus suddenly cuts himself off, his brow knitted in concern.
“What is it?” Eva asks.
“Well, I had assumed we would just teleport to the keep, but… Hmm…. No, we can’t do that.”
“Why not?”
“I’ve warded the building against teleports. We’ll have to arrive just outside the front gates.”
“So, if we get into trouble, we can’t teleport out either?” Eva clarifies.
“Not as such, no.”
“What is your intention, exactly, when you speak to the Count?” Reyu asks.
“Well,” Barnabus considers his words. “I will inform him I intend to leave, and then I will ask him for the return of all the magic items I have crafted for him.”
“What if he refuses?” Anvil asks.
“I will destroy them,” he says simply. At this pronouncement, the party members, as one, stop cold. It takes Barnabus a few seconds to notice that he and the constructs are the only ones still walking.
“You have the power to spontaneously destroy any magic item you created?”
Barnabus smiles indulgently. “Oh no, no, no of course not… I have the power to destroy any magic item at all within forty feet. Little spell of my own design… I call it the disjunction.”
(Or, Barnabus’ Disjunction, since there is no wizard named Mordenkainen in the Halmae.)
“If it becomes necessary, I’m sure the Count has some sort of store room. We have simply to find it.”
“What if we’re within forty feet when you cast the spell?” Eva wants to know. “Will it affect our items as well?”
“Certainly.”
“Can you give us some warning before you do that?”
Banabus nods. “Well, I’ll certainly try.” His eye falls on Kiara. “You might not want to be there when the spell goes off.”
“Why? What would happen to me?”
“I have no idea.”
Testy gives Kiara an appraising look. “That would be fascinating.”
Woodsy scowls. “You think everything is fascinating. You’d think you’d always been clumping around in that thing.”
Barnabus sighs. “If you like, Woodsy, you’re more than welcome to stand in the area of effect when and if the disjunction goes off. I won’t stop you.”
Woodsy nods. “I just might.”
Eva finally brings the conversation back around to where it started. “But what about magic items the Count might have on his person? What should be we careful of?”
“Oh right, right…” Barnabus considers again. “Well, there was this spiked chain I made for the captain of the County Guard. When it hits, it delivers an electric charge—”
Anvil cuts him off. “We know of it.”
“Really? Did you see it wielded?”
Just then, the group arrives at the boat. At one end, the captured crew waits. At the other, Euro perches atop the sailcloth bundle that contains Lira’s body. His eyes narrow at the strangers.
Barnabus does in fact put two and two together. “Oh… oh… I’m terribly sorry for your loss. I mean, it’s good to know the weapon is effective, but obviously these are not the circumstances one would wish for that discovery.”
“It is another… difficulty with teleportation,” Reyu points out. “We would not want to have to leave Lira’s body behind.”
Barnabus nods. “Yes… I can see that. Awkward to have to carry her into battle, and all that… Unless…” he trails off, lost in thought.
“Unless what?” Eva asks.
“Is that her familiar?” Barnabus asks suddenly, pointing at Euro.
“Yes.”
“We could… shrink the body.”
“Shrink her?”
“Yes. I believe she would even be small enough for the weasel to carry.”
(DM quote: “And this plan is so cool, I’m not even going to have you make a ‘use rope’ check to rig up a harness.”)
Woodsy, who is able to talk to Euro, explains the situation, and the weasel grudgingly backs off long enough for Barnabus to cast shrink object on Lira’s corpse.
Euro continues to watch both Woodsy and Barnabus with great suspicion. You try anything… I’ll kill you. You get that? I can take you down. Don’t think that I can’t.
Once the deed is done, Euro runs forward. He sniffs at the now tiny (or to be precise: fine) bundle, and through Woodsy relays his cautious satisfaction. When Lira is firmly secured to his back, the party can practically see his ego inflating.
Since they aren’t going to need the skiff, the party takes the sails, and then leaves the sailors free to row themselves to whatever island they choose. They figure that wherever the sailors decide to go, they won’t be able to raise an alarm in time to do any good.
And so, as the sailors put their oars to the water, there is a sudden white flash, and the party vanishes.
###
The party materializes directly in front of the main gates of the Count’s compound. Above them, the walls loom, ten feet high and solid stone. The massive iron-clad wooden gates that stood open when they were first escorted to see the Count mere days ago, are now closed and barred.
Reyu looks up. She cannot help but notice that there are a lot more guards stationed on the wall than there were the last time they were here. At the party’s sudden appearance, they snap to attention.
At least fifteen men and women at arms immediately bring their bows to bear on the party, along with several war-mages who stand ready to cast at a moment’s notice. Eva steals a glance over at Barnabus, standing at the front of the group, flanked by Testy and Woodsy.
The archmage appears perfectly calm.
He clears his throat, and, addressing an officer stationed above the gate, announces, “We have come to speak with the Count.”
The officer says something to the soldier on his right side who in turn calls out, “Send for Lord Marmion!”
The cry is taken back along the wall, through the courtyard and onto the keep. Then, quiet falls once again over the strange gathering.
While they are waiting, Anvil looks up at the arches stationed above his head, and gives them all a withering stare.
Presently, Lord Marmion, the Count’s chamberlain, appears above the gate. Although he must have hurried over, his robes of office are unruffled, and his decorous smile, as always, in place.
He greets the archmage as though he were not backed by a small army standing ready to attack at his slightest gesture. “Barnabus. It is good to see you. We are so seldom accorded the pleasure of a visit.”
Barnabus, also apparently unconcerned by the number of armed observers, answers cordially, “Some issues have been brought to my attention which I would like to discuss with the Count.”
Marmion smiles. “Of course. And the Count would be honored to see you. However, your… associates are a different matter.”
“Hmm?”
“We would request that they be given over into our custody. They are wanted for many crimes, among them: theft, piracy, and assault on members of the County Guard.”
Barnabus appears to consider for a moment, then replies amiably. “No, no I really don’t think that would be acceptable.” He brushes his hands, as though that settles the matter. “Now, are we going to stand here all afternoon, or are you going to open up?” He smiles again and pantomimes rapping on the door.
Lord Marmion and the Guard Officer exchange a tired look. Then, Lord Marmion shrugs. “Captain… Open up.”
The captain raises his arm and with a shout, gives his men their orders. While it is not exactly the instruction the party had been hoping for, it is also, admittedly, not really a surprise.
“Fire!”
Fimmtiu
First Post
spyscribe said:
9th level spells... Yikes! On the other hand, he'd rather destroy a vast cache of his own magic items than just kill the double-dealing Count and take them off his charred, twitching corpse. You've got to admire those kinds of principles, especially since they're so foreign to an adventurer's point of view. Excellent NPC.
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