What are your player behavior rules in F2F games?

[Jd Smith1]

Not during D&D time.
We're pretty sedentary creatures - once we sit down to game the only reason to stand up is to use the bathroom, step out for a smoke, get more food/drink, or get/set up some gaming supply (miniatures usually). I suppose, depending upon where we play, let the dog in/out could be on that list.

Different strokes. My group are all former athletes, ex-military, and generally are used to active pursuits, and they need a bit more supervision..

 

[Ulfgeir]

Our rules:

• No smoking. No one in the group smokes anyway, but one of the guys has asthma... One guy sadly uses "snus". Thankfully not the old non-packaged sort. It is still a filthy habit though. Even worse when women uses it.
• We have started using the rule, no electronic devices (unless the GM says it is OK). The GM will often use a laptop though. We had one guy constantly surfing for other things not related to the game. He even tried using electronic dice rollers.. He is also the resident rules-lawyer (and a bit of a munchkin).
• Trying to minimize the out-of game chatter. If the GM says "that's enough", then stop it, and start focusing on the game..
• Don't be an naughty word.

 

[R_J_K75]

He is also the resident rules-lawyer

Definitely one thing I wont put up with if I'm hosting a game at my house regardless of what side of the screen I'm on. Whether I'm DMing or not keep the game moving and bring it up after the session is over.

Don't be an naughty word.

I'm always amazed at how many people don't comprehend this, regardless of whether its playing RPGs or anything else in life. Those type of people tend to get their comeuppance rather quickly.

 

[Ulfgeir]

Forgot one rule: one of the guys requested no talks about politics, as that can lead to people getting angry at each others.

 

[jasper]

My new player vetting thread is drifting a little, so I thought I would start this thread.

In face to face games, what are your rules regarding player behavior?

Mine, currently are:
1) No smoking indoors. (nobody smokes anymore, but its still in place).
2) No drinking.
3) No attacking other players.
4) No using pets to attack other players, even if it is your house.
5) No inciting or bribing children to attack other players, even if they're your kids.
6) Play your own gender.
7) Pants are required.
8) Verbal abuse should be kept short and to the point. If the GM says to let it go, let it go.
9) Movie quotes, especially Monty Python, are to be kept to a couple exchanges.
10) Announce 'warning', at which time the air spray should be hastily passed to you, before farting. Better still, go outside.

This sounds like a comedy skit about why these rules were made. 9 is right out because half my gamers don't know Python.

 

[Jd Smith1]

This sounds like a comedy skit about why these rules were made. 9 is right out because half my gamers don't know Python.

How sad.

 

[billd91]

In one of the games, we have teens and a tween playing so we have to keep raunch and cursing down a bit. Otherwise, in pretty much all the games I participate in, we keep a lid on PvP, smokers have to go outside, we don’t poach beer/cider other people need (gluten intolerance) or prefer, and we usually play at the home of the players with the youngest kids to ease childcare.

 

[Man in the Funny Hat]

I wrote this a long time ago, putting together a bunch of "rules" over a couple of years while reading about game-destroying disasters on the internet. I don't expect everyone to agree with every point. It's just a place to START to refine your own set of rules.

D&D Manifesto​

1. Having fun is the point of the exercise. If you're not enjoying the game, try to do something constructive about it, rather than be disruptive in the name of finding something to do. Don’t expect someone to inflict fun upon you either. The game is not meant to have you be passively entertained and participation is necessary.
   
2. Communicate! People don't have ESP and even though you may think something is obvious, others might not unless you say something. If you have a problem about something in the game then say so because more campaigns blow up because of mis- or non-communication than any other factor.
   
3. DM's get to enjoy the game too, but to DM's nothing in the game is a mystery and they can never stop coming up with ideas. So, be appreciative of the DM sacrificing any enjoyment of that part of the game for the entertainment of everyone else.
   
4. The day a DM can't deal with a helpful suggestion or sincere criticism from players about the campaign is the day the DM needs to give up the chair. The game does not revolve around stroking the DM's ego.
   
5. A campaign is not absolutely under a DM's control, but they have final authority for good reason. The DM should not attempt to force the campaign to progress ONLY in predestined directions and player characters can and will foil prearranged plans. Freedom of action for PC's is necessary for players to enjoy the game as it is intended to be played. Campaigns are supposed to be about the Player Characters, not the NPC’s.
   
6. The most satisfying combats are those teetering at the edge of death yet without actually crossing that threshold unnecessarily. The game is random and contains so many variables that it is impossible to plan perfectly, either as DM or player. Combat encounters are never a sure thing regardless of how meticulously designed they are. The edge of disaster is the most exciting place to be, but also the easiest for events to get out of control. This is just something that needs to be kept in mind by everyone.
   
7. The DM has at all times and in all ways the ability to kill the PC's whenever he bloody well feels like it. Simply having the next encounter be impossibly lethal is as easy as breathing, so a DM trying to deliberately kill the PC's has no business being the DM. What kind of fun is that for anybody? Players should face fun and interesting challenges for their PC's, not just Kobayashi Maru scenarios. A DM should want to see the PC's succeed, but that success should still be earned.
   
8. It is still in everybody's interest for a campaign to have places, creatures, or encounters that the PC's are not always able to defeat. It gives a campaign world a needed life of its own and is necessary for having any kind of verisimilitude and willing suspension of disbelief. Without that the game world and its dangers always scale to the PC's capabilities, which feels fake. But such impassable obstacles means that players and PC's need appropriate warnings about dangers. It also means that players do themselves no favors by never retreating or backing down, and always pushing mindlessly for victory, because that leaves the DM with no options except mindlessly pushing back. Don't go looking for the edge of the envelope - if you find it you won't be happy with the inevitable consequences.
   
9. It is in the interest of "fair play" for the DM to have NPC's operating under generally the same rules that the PC's do. But fanaticism about fairness is not in anyone’s interests either. Rules for PC's don't always apply the same to NPC's and vice versa, so don't expect them to. Only if the DM overuses or abuses the privilege of not needing to have NPC's and monsters conform to “rules” should players consider it an issue. The DM may need to explain some changes up front, while others remain entirely secret.
   
10. The players and their characters are not always bound by "the rules" in what they can do (or at least in what they can attempt.) There simply isn’t a rule for everything. One of a DM's biggest jobs is adjudication and adaptation of rules to the many situations that arise within a game, as well as creating new rules when necessary. So, by definition, PC's can at least attempt to do things outside of the rules (and even get some credit for creativity, unless they make themselves a pest by constantly trying to do things not covered by the rules). To deny the same creative privilege to the DM would be silly.
    
11. The DM is not a slave to the dice. Dice don’t run the game, the DM does. Certainly a DM is free to alter dice rolls that would negatively affect the PC's, but just because you can doesn’t mean that you should. It is a useful tool to have, but to adjust results against the PC’s without really good reasons is a dick move. Slavish obedience to dice results can also be an attempt to dodge the responsibilities of the DM too: “Don't blame ME, that's what the dice dictated...” The DM already has vast latitude in deciding how many and how often dice rolls get made, as well as in applying many of the modifiers that would affect rolls. To short-circuit the process and just dictate a die roll is really no different than that. To roll dice means that the DM still wants random chance to decide, but (rarely!) things can be important enough that the DM can decide to just dictate them.
    
12. The DM is not required to roll dice in the open, and I believe should even be discouraged from it. There are often factors at work that the players need not – even should not – know, suspect, or be able to infer by meta-game math. It makes the occasional open die roll for all to see that much more tense, or demonstrates an attitude the DM may have about the outcome without breaking character to explain in detail. Players should always roll their dice openly. Nothing is kept secret from the DM such that it is outside their adjudication and veto power.
    
13. There will be differences of opinion about rules. Rules-lawyering should be kept to a minimum during the game. State the objections, the DM considers all sides, and then makes a ruling. If players take exception to the ruling, bring it up later. Don't bog the game down with rules arguments. If something can be resolved by simply looking it up quickly in the rules, do it. Still, the DM is not perfect, not every ruling in a game is a new law graven in stone, nor an unforgivable insult, nor does the DM always need to explain at that moment all their reasons for ruling as they do.
    
14. Retroactive Continuity (or 'retconning', or 'retcon' for short) means making everything better by deus ex machina, or simply declaring a “do-over.” It works, but it is never very satisfying for anyone. It may still be better to simply accept what has taken place, no matter how stupidly or badly it was done. DM's need to carefully consider their options in such circumstances.
    
15. Characters die, and occasionally should die permanently. I firmly believe that resurrection magic is in the game only because it is easy for characters to die. Playing on the edge of death and disaster is more fun and exciting (as previously noted), but if permanent character death never really occurs then you're not actually playing “on the edge.” Players forget this and push situations to undesirable limits. This fearlessness was not intended but prevents the DM from planning any sort of fight other than Last Man Standing. The DM can’t predict who will die or when. Players must be willing to have their characters flee to survive before it's too late, and the DM must often simply let them flee, so that fleeing is actually a viable and accepted option (especially if the rules don't make it one).
    
16. Players must learn the rules. There are no tests and no required memorization, but it's reasonable to expect that players read the entire Players Handbook and be able to understand it. Everyone new to the game must accept that they will need to do a lot of reading and put effort into learning the game. There is a lot of information they'll need to absorb right from the start. The basics of RPG's can be learned in an hour. After a few sessions, players shouldn't need basics or mechanics specific to their character explained anymore. Players should pay attention to rules being applied by other players and other characters besides their own. Those who can't be bothered to learn the game fully (and not just one piece of it) should only be given limited leeway and can be asked to leave. Only if the DM informs players up front that the rules don't matter, or the player actually has learning disabilities is anyone excused from seeking a general, functional knowledge of the game.
    
17. Regarding "Table Rules": Wherever the game session is taking place respect the host and their property, and assist in getting others to respect the Table Rules as well, not just yourself. Don't make a mess. Clean it up if you do. Behave. You are a GUEST, even in the house of a friend, so act accordingly. Sadly, it is necessary to state that this includes being mindful of your own bodily hygiene. Save them and yourself the embarrassment by not letting it even become necessary. Any polite request that you bathe, brush your teeth/use mouthwash, stop interrupting, stop being an ass, pay attention to the game instead of your phone, computer, book, TV, etc. must NOT be taken as an insult. It must be considered a favor to you, and an opportunity to better yourself as a person, if not as a player. Just correct the issue and move on. Players are typically responsible for their own food, drinks, etc. at games unless arrangements are made ahead of time. It is basic manners to reciprocate other players hospitality if/when it comes to be your turn to host the game. If you so desire or cannot afford to do so then advise people ahead of time so that other arrangements can be made. Be on time. If you will be late, decided not to attend, or must cancel suddenly, let people know as soon as you can. Often people have limited time to devote to the game so don't waste it for them. Bring the things you need to bring (dice, character sheets, players handbook, notepaper, a pen, etc.) and be ready to play promptly when you arrive.
    
18. There are some game rules which are simply subject to wide interpretation no matter what. Alignment, behavior of paladins and their obligations, and the preferred function of any number of rules MUST be clarified at the start, and perhaps occasionally restated - even when you believe that you go by the book. Don't assume the players know what you wants, or how you prefer to interpret or run things. Some things must actually be stated to players early and often to eliminate misunderstandings and worse. If you are not given such information as a player then demand it – or at least insist that you can't be held liable for having NOT been provided it.
    
19. Be fair and reasonable to other players and other PC's in-game. There is no excuse for either you or your character to be an intolerable ass. NONE. This is not an unreasonable restriction. It's a very basic supposition of the game that a radically diverse party works together for mutually agreeable ends. As a player you are largely obliged to find reasons for your character to like the other PC's, not seek to openly antagonize them. No one player OR character gets to dictate to others any less than the same full and unreserved participation they themselves have. The DM is obliged to maintain this atmosphere of civility and cooperation. Even if everyone has agreed otherwise beforehand to something other than that, the DM is still obliged to keep all attitudes and behavior from becoming disruptive or truly offensive, in-game and out.
    
20. If a player is about to do something the DM feels is stupid or disruptive he should halt the game and get clarification or correction. For example, if a character is about to kill an NPC for no apparent reason, then rather than allow it to happen and then get angry that it was done, the DM should stop play and find out what's going on. If the players response is unsatisfactory then deal with that first, instead of allowing the disruptive act to occur and trying to pick up the pieces afterward. Communication flows both ways and the DM does not need to act as if players should be forbidden to ever know how the DM does their job. DM's should step out of the game for a moment and communicate to the PERSON at the table. They should be able to freely explain why they rule as they do, even if they don't explain in detail during the game most of the time.
    
21. The players run their characters - the DM does NOT. Unless players are being disruptive the DM should keep his stinking paws off the PC's and players decisions. The DM does not control what the PC's do except if some form of in-game magical control has removed it from the player (such as charm, or lycanthropy). When the DM does gain control over a PC they need to be VERY judicious about what they then do with the character. The ONE THING players get to control in the game is the attempted actions of their characters, so when that power of choice is suspended DM's should take great care and caution. Similarly, although the DM determines what treasure is found it must generally be left up to the players and their characters to determine how it is distributed (unless it is done so badly by the players as to be disruptive or patently unfair).
    
22. There are certain things which should just be taboo at every table unless the DM has explicit permission from all players to take the game in those directions. They include, but are not at all limited to: Child abuse, sexual molestation or assault, rape, real-world racial stereotypes or intended parodies, extreme description of violence and gore, and excessive emphasis upon common phobias such as claustrophobia, arachnophobia, ophidiophobia (snakes), and so forth – at least not without confirming that players are not particularly sensitive to that. Don't be “that DM.”

 

[Flexor the Mighty!]

Since I only game with a group of longtime friends we just have the same "rules" we have when we are sitting around a table drinking, don't be an excessive ass. Since we are all relentless ballbreakers there is a decent amount of ripping on each other but its friendly and we mostly know each others lines not to cross. And since we have limited gaming time every week try not to waste it with other stuff. but again since its a group of longtime friends out of game talk is a reality to some degree.

 

[Ralif Redhammer]

No rolls against another PC
No cheating
Respect your fellow players and the DM (except for my twin brother and me; we've been insulting each other for decades and aren't going to stop now)
No racist, sexist, or homophobic behavior

I'm a little surprised that people have to specify no smoking. Like, do people just light up in someone else's house? Or are we talking "smoking?"