What Does It Look Like? 4 Steps for Beating the Boxed Text Blues

Boxed Text, or Read Aloud descriptions, can be the death of excitement and engagement in a game session -- or they can be a vital part of the player's engagement and enjoyment in the game. Save your game -- and keep your players plugged in -- with this four-step plan for better descriptions in your game.

Boxed Text, or Read Aloud descriptions, can be the death of excitement and engagement in a game session -- or they can be a vital part of the player's engagement and enjoyment in the game. Save your game -- and keep your players plugged in -- with this four-step plan for better descriptions in your game.

Communicating visual description isn't easy -- hard especially to get right in the mind of every audience member. Just this week George R R Martin wrote about what the Iron Throne "really" looks like-- and the picture was shared all over the inter webs. (Just about everyone with a nerd-blog on the web has covered this story one way or another - now I have too!)

But if it can take years for a writer like Martin to actually see an artist create a version of the throne that matches what's in his minds eye, what chance does a run-of-the-mill DM have trying to explain what a scene looks like in his head to his players?

Precious little. For most of us, words are what we have. Unless we've got artistic skills and talent -- and the time to illustrate for our own games -- we're going to have to rely on words to create vibrant scenes for our players.

"Read Aloud" or "Boxed Text" creates a concrete, dependable block of description for a scene. It provides the key details that the players need to interact with the scene.

The problem we face is that modern listeners have a lot less patience for big blocks of narration -- much less than we had back in the bad old AD&D days. This means that it's more important than ever to make descriptions focused, tight, and powerful.

So how do we do that well?

1. Write A Good Description

There's a lot of terrible advice out there for writing descriptions. We are told to do things like appeal to all the senses, and many of the examples that we read in school take the time to give us a full description of what a character is wearing.

Those were all much more valid before Beavis and Butthead rose up out of the ether and destroyed our attention span. Now we need descriptions that hit hard and hit fast.

Try this:


  • Pick the most important element of a scene. It might be a visual detail. It might be a smell. It might be a sound. Make it just one thing. Picking the right element is vital: we can say a lot about a scene with one or two well-chosen details that evoke a lot more. For example, if I describe the way a flap of skin flaps under an old woman's arm, it paints a vivid image in your mind of the whole woman, very quickly. Think of these iconic descriptors as a sort of descriptive shorthand. What's the one thing you can describe about a person or a place that will carry with it enough detail of the whole?
  • Write your description of that one element.
  • Replace Vague, generic words with more descriptive ones -- where we use generic terms ("hot"), replace them with more specific, descriptive ones ("steaming").
  • Try to cut out half the words. This is an exercise is tightening our writing. We may not be able to cut out half of them, but make it a goal. When we write, we include modifiers -- adjective and adverbs -- and those words are actually our mortal enemies. Don't say "freezing cold", say "frigid". We also use equivocations and "to be" verbs and all kinds of other fluff that can be completely cut out. Don't say "it might be the hottest day you recall" -- go ahead and say "most scalding day ever." And then say that better (because it's still lame).
  • Rinse and repeat for one or two more elements.

The difficult but vitally important part is to use as few words as possible. Every word needs to punch above it's weight class.

NOTE If We Are Running a Print Adventure: It's no less important to own the boxed text. Depending upon the adventure's author, the descriptions may be great, or may be fluffy and lame. It's incredibly easy, when we are preparing to run an adventure, to focus on monster stat blocks, making sure we've got the minis and maps sorted out, and not spend any time with the boxed text.

I'm sure many of us -- me included -- will get in a rush and won't even read over the read aloud text before we're actually reading it to players. This is why our players choose these moments to run for the fridge.

So, to prepare to deliver that boxed text content well, we need to spend as much time with that as we do going over stat blocks and minis -- maybe more. Read over the description and find the handful of key elements you need to describe. Pull them out and come up with your own version of how to describe those elements.


2. Take The Time You Need

When we're in the middle of running a game, it's easy to gloss over creating these descriptive moments. We forget that the image we have in our own minds is not necessarily what the players have, and if we don't do what we can to shape that image, there's no telling what they're imagining.

When we play with maps and minis, it's very easy to allow the props to do a lot of the heavy lifting in terms of description; make sure that you still take the time to describe key scenes and images to your players.

Remember -- even when we go so far as to use all of the gadgets and props I love to help play, the "real" action of the game takes place between the player's ears, not on the table (or virtual table); help them imagine the action.

3. Take the time you need, but no more

Our descriptions need to be short, evocative, and effective. They need to punch for the gut and not allow our players time to think about getting another soda or taking a break to pee.

Let them pee while the wizard's taking his turn; that dude is sloooooow.


4. Delivery: Don't Read - Perform

The biggest problem with descriptive or boxed text is it gets us into very bad habits. We read. We drone. We read fast to try to get through it fast so we get get back to the *important* stuff. And the players tune us out.

We need to break out of that rut, as much as possible, and we'll do that best by making an effort to treat these descriptions as performances, not demonstrations of our reading ability.

We stand up. We use our hands. We use our whole vocal range and whatever sense of theater we have to bring those descriptions to life. If we're describing the fangs of the dragon, we mime the fangs and gnash our teeth, throw in a rumble in our chest. If we're describing the waterfall that conceals the rebel base, we use our hands to describe the flow of water, use our voice to create the roar of the water.

If we must read from our notes, we should hold the notes in one hand, and make sure we're using our other hand to gesture and shape the ideas.

A few links for more ideas on dramatic reading:




Putting it all Together

In the end, everyone needs to find their own way through this -- some will focus more on the writing side, others will focus more on the performance side. And some of us will keep on blowing off any real preparation of our descriptions. But if you take the time to be a bit more deliberate and intentional with those descriptions, your game will be better for it.

What are your favorite techniques for making your descriptions come alive for your players?
 

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One thing to consider regarding description, attention spans, and modern game systems is the importance of the setting description in actual play. If room full of contents is described in detail, players are more likely to be engaged with the description if paying attention to key elements is essential to interacting with them.

If the end result always ends up in : " we search everything taking 20" then the description might as well be " blah blah blah blah" as it relates to exploration activity. Who needs to listen to all that when it doesn't matter?

This by no means excuses extra long monotonous boxed text. Ideas for conveying the important parts without droning on are appreciated.
 

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howandwhy99

Adventurer
As someone who remembers the "bad old AD&D days" there was no overwhelming love of boxed text or read aloud text then either. It was a simple DM aid for those who where new to it and didn't know why some things were related to the players and others not. The authors of that text were often just as confused as so much of the material from that time shows. A lot of the joke material now for mocking that time comes from some of the ridiculous box text (and non-read-aloud text too) in some of the best loved adventures.

The important part is understanding why the descriptions are there at all. First, it is a game. Just as a DM should relate certain elements upon meeting an NPC, like what they are wearing, carrying, saying, etc. they should also not describe elements that require further investigation. For example, what the NPC is thinking about, what they did before the PCs arrived, what they have underneath that armor, what's in their backpack, and so on.

Locations (and items) are designed for encountering them similarly. The difficulty comes in when you have a dynamic world where everything is changing and the DM is expected to track it. What have the PCs told the NPC during the course of their conversation? Did they trade anything between them? Did they alter the room any? Leave a torch in a sconce behind?

It's up to both the DM and players to be clear in the descriptions of actions so everyone is on the same page.
 

Dr Simon

Explorer
The boxed text started to become more prevalent as the idea of a plot behind the game began to become more prevalent as well, hence (in my mind at least) it tends to be linked to the more egregious examples of railroading (such as Dragonlance, or the FR1-3 series of modules). Perhaps it ties with adventure writers wanting to be story writers, so as well as imposing a sequence of events on the PCs they would also show off their writing "skills" (a connected phenomenon - the opening piece of short fiction inflicted on the GM, meant as a scene-setter but more often than not fully disposable).

There's a sweet-spot, though, between that kind of enforced prose and having to pick through the encounter area descriptions of e.g. the very early Gygax modules, such as Against the Giants or Tomb of Horrors, for the bits that are relevant to the room. Hence the bullet-point kind of idea. Another style I remember is from early RuneQuest adventures (Rainbow Caves and Snakepipe Hollow), which gave an At First Glance heading with a very brief, one-line summary of the obvious things, and Further Detail for what you would find on closer, more leisurely examination. Worked really well.
 

Another style I remember is from early RuneQuest adventures (Rainbow Caves and Snakepipe Hollow), which gave an At First Glance heading with a very brief, one-line summary of the obvious things, and Further Detail for what you would find on closer, more leisurely examination. Worked really well.

There was a bit about that in Dragon issue #99. The one thing about traditional boxed text that was amusing was the order of presentation in some situations.

Quite possibly from some classic module:

[Boxed text]

The room beyond the wide mahogany door is richly furnished. The West wall is decorated with murals depicting a hunting scene, the East wall is hung with several tapestries which feature knights at a tourney. On the North wall, opposite the door is a large stone fireplace, with a fire crackling within. On a mantle above the fireplace are six statues of animals which appear to be made out of some silver colored metal. The statues are roughly 1 foot tall and appear to be a bear, a wolf, an elk, a moose, a tiger, and a wolverine. The fire, along with a large iron chandelier hanging ten feet above the floor provide adequate light. The floor of the room is carpeted in a deep plush royal purple area rug that covers most of the floor. The only furnishings in the room are a large dark wooden oval table and eight matching chairs. Upon the table are eight goblets, a deck of cards, and several piles of scattered coins of various types. Seated at the table are what appear to be eight orc warriors wearing ill fitting womens' undergarments.

[End Boxed text]
 

Janx

Hero
There was a bit about that in Dragon issue #99. The one thing about traditional boxed text that was amusing was the order of presentation in some situations.

Quite possibly from some classic module:

[Boxed text]

The room beyond the wide mahogany door is richly furnished. The West wall is decorated with murals depicting a hunting scene, the East wall is hung with several tapestries which feature knights at a tourney. On the North wall, opposite the door is a large stone fireplace, with a fire crackling within. On a mantle above the fireplace are six statues of animals which appear to be made out of some silver colored metal. The statues are roughly 1 foot tall and appear to be a bear, a wolf, an elk, a moose, a tiger, and a wolverine. The fire, along with a large iron chandelier hanging ten feet above the floor provide adequate light. The floor of the room is carpeted in a deep plush royal purple area rug that covers most of the floor. The only furnishings in the room are a large dark wooden oval table and eight matching chairs. Upon the table are eight goblets, a deck of cards, and several piles of scattered coins of various types. Seated at the table are what appear to be eight orc warriors wearing ill fitting womens' undergarments.

[End Boxed text]

An excellent example. GM begins reading a long list of the room's contents, party interupts saying they go to look at the shiny important thing, GM then springs the giant dragon that was clearly sitting in the room, but hadn't mentioned because it was at the end of the description text he didn't finish reading aloud.

Box text needs to be ordered in the sequence of obviousness and importance to the players.

Threats
Exits
Big Details
Little Details

The first thing a guy notices when he enters a room are naked chicks, food, and dragons. The last thing he will notice is a deck of cards on the table.

Putting the monster at the end of the description is really GM punishment for not listening to the entire boxed text.
 

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