This thread should be changed to The Lounge, and moved to a general topic section of the message board. LOL.
I like the Best of file. Very nice!
Here's the story of the Great Satan Inc ( Shivamuffin ) so far. I hope you all like.
The Blasphemous Lame-Ass Testament
of the
Great Satan Inc
Wandering Prophet of a Commercialized Wasteland
Genesis 1:1
In the begining there was snow. So much damn snow. A Michigan winter had befallen the two that would create the Michael, the Great Satan Inc, The Wandering Prophet of a Commercialized Wasteland.
" Behold woman, I haveth no beer, I haveth no smokes, the snow is too deep to goeth to thy bar. To keep warm I shall have intercourse with you, and thus keep warm and keepeth warm. " So sayeth the father.
" Yes my husband, a drunk you are, but nice you are. I shall keepeth warm with you and produce a son. A son that hateth sports, and hateth everything which is corporate and commercialized. "
And so they mated and produced the Great Satan Inc.
Vagimony 1:1
And she takes from the man like the harlot. She taketh that which is owed her for previous use of the vagina. This thing she does is called Vagimony, and is the bane of all sons of the gods.
Vagimony 1:2
And she went to the place of the dancing beavers, and danced with beavers. Woe to you son of the gods, for the power of vagina is stronger than thy own loins. Let it be known that you cannot compete with vagina. So sayeth the gods.
Vagimony 1:3
And he cameth home and said to his wife, behold I have cometh home and desire you! I have a headache she sayeth, and this night we shall not haveth intercourse. Is there a problem my beloved wife? the man sayeth to his wife. No!, she weeps, but you know what you have done to offend thee O pathetic son of the gods, YOU SHOULD KNOW!!!
Vagimony 1:4
Shaking his head, the wise man goeth and pleasure himself in solitude. An unwise man will asketh what is wrong, and find no pleasure that night.
Vagimony 1:5
The first doom. The wife that gave birth to the daughter of the wicked manchild. She sayeth, I will leave you now. I will leave your misery and your wickedness. I shall wander the wastes, and you shall not see the daughter we have created. You shall never know another that loves thee as do I, and you shall suffer 1000 torments for your wickedness.
Vagimony 1:6
Cast out of paradise once more, he wandered the evil lands of Fen' Ton, the abyss of the Brightlands, and the cesspools of Flint. The daughters of Lilith tormented, abused, and humiliated the manchild. The manchild returned the favors 3 fold. Through alcohol he madeth an ass out of himself. For 3 years he wandered the lands. A pauper, a begger, a scoundrel. He lay on the floor of a wicked and deceitful lord of Fen' Ton, content to rot, wither and die. Free at last, free at last.
A daughter of Lilith arrived, and took the Great Satan Inc by the hand. She sayeth, I shall guide you to the promise land. I shall take you from this place, from this life. Leave behind the poisons and those that deliver the poisons. Surrender to me, and knoweth that I AM your goddess, your savior, your only guide to salvation. He made the unholy covenant, and spent 3 plus 4 years in the service of the second bringer of doom.
Vagimony 1:7
The second doom, The wife of 1000 torments sayeth, I grow weary of you Great Satan Inc, I grow weary of your misery and refusal to worship me as your goddess. For I AM your goddess, your savior, and your path to salvation O wicked manchild. I cast you out with what you began with. I send you into the wilderness ONCE MORE, to suffer and rot. Lost our your treasures, your, pride, and the pleasures of my divine booty. Be gone wretched manchild, and know that thee have been cursed.
Vagimony 2:1
The daughters of Lilith are the beautiful children of the gods. They are the living goddesses that walk the Commercialized Hell. Unlike the daughters of the gods, they possess powers over the sons of the gods. The manchildren are helpless when faced with the charms and beauty of the daughters of Lilith.
" Nay simple manchild, you are goofy looking and unworthy of our love, but we shall dominate you. we shall mold you, and taketh from you every compliment, every adhoration, every passionate pleasure. It is these things that you give, that feedeth our divine souls. Power, not money is what drives us, and you shall fall to your knees in prayer.
Book of Michael 1:1
So he went to the army of the great nation, he spreadeth his cheeks and walketh like a duck, he answered the questions of the all knowing DOD. The gods then spoke to him. Nay, wretched manchild, pathetic beast who is called the Great Satan Inc, Wandering Prophet of a Commercialized Hell, Nay to you and your attempt to escape your destiny. You will not do battle against your fellow sons of the gods. You shall not find glory, nor be taught the ways of the warrior. You shall be left with only that you can carry, and banished to your false paradise.
Book of Michael 1:2
And he left the liberal land and wandered the wilderness for many days, on the chariot pulled by greyhounds. He meteth strange and pathetic peoples, peoples who asketh " Pardon me, can I borrow 35 cent? " On the floors he slept, urine, feces, and other sinful oders dulled his senses. The cold seeped into his bones.
In the city of sin he found great pleasures from Asia, and discovered the wonders of the beautiful yellow hands. The gods then sayeth to Michael " You haveth not escaped thy torment O Wandering Prophet of a Commercialized Wasteland, pathetic manchild who is calleth Great Satan Inc. You shall return to the land of the cold winds and smelly air. You shall maketh your home in the place of the trailer parks. Curse thee O Great Satan of the cesspool named Flint, you shall toil under the rule of the toothless masses and know that thy gods are laughing at you. " So sayeth the gods, and with the help of the Apostle Mark, Michael was taken to the land of Kala-Mazoo.
Book of Michael 1:3
Reaching his paradise, a paradise so longed for for many years, he sought wage enslavement. Nay you, you shall not find wage enslavement here! Nay you, seek income elswhere! Nay you, we shall enslave a lesser qualified manchild!
It is the curse of the gods of greed, that the sons of the gods must seek enslavement to purchase bread. The wageslave is the fodder of the all powerful Inc. The wageslave carries the horse, which is the all powerful Inc. On our backs the powerful rest, from our pockets they collect their plunder. Woe to the wageslave. Woe to the sons of the gods.
The daughters of Lilith, and the daughters of the gods take on terms as wageslaves as well. Turning away their duties as mothers and wives, to pull the heavy stones. Deceit, rivalries, and drama plague every place they toil, to the detrement of the sons of man that must suffer their poison, and to themselves. Children are raised without motherly love, guidance, and discipline. The gods of greed replace the mother, and raise generations of wicked, selfish sons and daughters.
Book of Michael 1:4
So for months he wandered the paradise that was becoming his place of exile. Without a chariot, and his treasures, he searcheth the wastes on foot. O gods why art though so cruel? He screamed to the winds, and the gods sayeth " Suffer you, for you have turned away one of us, a daughter of Lilith! You will suffer and suffer until we grow weary of YOU. Wretched manchild, wretched Wandering Prophet of a Commercialized Hell, he who calleth himself Great Satan Inc. "
Book of Michael 1:5
The place of the stripping beavers, where the soda costs more than beer, the wandering prophet was enslaved. As a door monkey, he tooketh treasures from perves and welcomed them to the place of the stripping beavers. The enslavement was easy, but he wanted more.