What to do with a cat?

[Piratecat]

A few months ago, someone here came up with a fantastic idea. It's just a cat... but it can't die. No one knows why. It's totally non-magical, but if you fold, spindle or mutilate it, later it shows up just fine and unconcerned. It's actually living forever.

Talk about freaking the PCs out.

 

[Sixchan]

Make the cat act in ways that slowly send the players insane. Like staring at them just before something awful happens. Or making noises in the dark. Or even talking to one player at scary moments and promising to kill the character.

Three Words:
Cat of Cthulhu!

 

[Kahuna Burger]

After the second time they killed it and it came back ...

Kahuna Burger spends 5 minutes looking for the lyrics to "the Cat Came Back" on Google and sings the chorus incessantly for the rest of the day....

It didn't wanna Roaaaaaaammmmmm..... The very next day it was home sweet home!

 

[Chauzu]

Or even talking to one player at scary moments and promising to kill the character.

Yeah, but don't outright have the cat talk them. Give a player a sense that the cat is talking to her in her head. That way the player can wonder whether the talking is for real or is just their imagination, but never give a clear answer. That should help freak them out.

 

[Michael Morris]

Almost totally unrelated, but...

How to give a pill to a cat.

1) Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As the cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3) Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

4) Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

6) Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and vigorously rub cat's throat.

7) Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make a note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

8) Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

9) Check label to make sure pill is not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10) Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11) Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of your last tetanus jab. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12) Ring fire brigade to retrieve the friggin' cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

13) Tie the little @#!*#^~!'s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining room table, find heavy duty Pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.

14) Consume remainder of Scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.

15) Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and ring local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

 

[dave_o]

I dig the making of the cat immortal.

Maybe, when the party meets a group en masse (Fey, Outsiders, etc.) have them deem the cat the leader, and refuse to speak to anyone but the cat.

Maybe even have one of them Awaken the cat.

 

[Hypersmurf]

Kahuna Burger spends 5 minutes looking for the lyrics to "the Cat Came Back" on Google and sings the chorus incessantly for the rest of the day....

Heh. I have the Muppets' version on video...

-Hyp.

 

[blackshirt5]

Have a bard sing the Stephen Lynch Kill a Kitten song.

 

[gpetruc]

Have the cat be an awakened cat wit Int 18 and maybe some class levels (expert ??) and thus a very high bonus in some int-based skill such as some knowledge or Decipher Scrypt.
The cat doesn't say anything, and always pretends to be a normal cat.

Then when the characters face some enigmatic writing in a deep dungeon and are arguing about which way to go have the cat say, in very polite words something like "excuse me, sirs and madams, I think that you are actually going the wrong way: everybody knows that in that particular ancient drow dialect the word for "left corridor" is different from the modern one, and similar to "right passage". The correct way is passing through that archway and than turn left .... : you can read this in the cronicles of the voyages of Turlin the Old"
After that moment, have the cat usually talk aloud and most of the time saying either philosophical argumentations, quotations from ancient people or generi nonsense like one of the horses in a book from Quenau (sp?).

Or have it behave like the crazy cat in Alice in Wonderland, but only in some circumstances

And, of course, all these effects should be non-dispellable, the cat should not radiate magic.

The idea of the immortal cat is also cool.
(or you could give him the classical 7 lives)

 

[Kilmore]

Methinks Mr. Morris has a cat.