What would you do if someone died?

[joshuakanton]

Sorry for your lose.


I would let the campaign go, it would be too painful to continue.

All things end, sometimes before they were meant to.

 

[Kae'Yoss]

My sincere condolences.


About your D&D situation (which isn't really morbid - just perfectly normal displacement activity):

I could see not playing on, honouring his wish forever. On the other hand, I doubt he meant it like this, and would probably have wanted you to carry on without him - in life as in D&D. I say go with what you feel is the right way. Nothing we say can decide this for you.

Besides that, playing on might be a good or a bad idea, depending on how you'd deal with moments like "if Jessie were here, he'd just have charged in, with none of this diplomatting". It could be a way to remember a lost one fondly, or it could rip open wounds. Again, you must know this for yourself.


What I agree on, though, is that if you play on, his character should get a proper place forever after. The D&D equivalent of a candle in front of a picture of him. This you might want to do even if you decide not to play that campaign again.

 

[klofft]

It seems sort of unnecessary to add to the voices above, but I thought I'd share. I too have been in this situation of having a player die. In the short term, we chose to take a break from the game, to get some distance and perspective. After a couple months passed, however, we realized it was just stupid to keep the game going without our friend. We tabled the game and moved on to other things, other games. We knew it would be too weird recognizing that our friend was no longer at the table, regardless of any good in-game explanation for the character's absence.

And I, too, will say a prayer for him.

Peace,
C

 

[shilsen]

As people have already said, there really is no right answer that we can give you, since you really do need to pick what will work best for you and Kim. It sounds like she doesn't want to continue, or at least not right now. I'd give it a little time and then revisit the subject if you want to.

Personally, I'd continue, and I'd be playing the same day my friend died if we had a game scheduled. I think that happening is a part of life, and getting excited about it never helps. I'd think it's a pity he's gone, toast his memory and roll the dice. But then I'm crazy like that. I don't recommend it to the rest of the planet

 

[Janx]

I'd be willing to bet he meant he wanted you to wait for him to play. He certainly hadn't anticipated such terrible event.

So in that light, I would not consider "don't play without me" to be his last request, even though it was actually the last request he may have made.

I would consider the emotional impact of playing the campaign your friend was in, given the fact he died. It may be awkward, to say the least. However, when you consider that it would likely be the same people playing in the replacement campaign, you'd all have the same feelings about the empty seat at the table.

I think the trickiest thing, is tastefully handling his character in the campaign. Do you NPC-tize it, have it retire and exit quietly, or elevat it to some mythic position. You don't want to be sappy, but you likely want to honor the memory of your friend.

Oh yeah, keep the character sheet.

 

[DaveyJones]

sorry for your loss.

when it happened in our group i left a seat at our game table. still do.

 

[Mercule]

My sincerest condolences.

I've only had one (then) current member of my gaming pass away. It was during summer break at college and we typically broke campaigns, anyway, at the annual break so continuing wasn't an issue.

Only you can really answer that.

Me, I'd finish it. I'd know that my friend only meant 'don't get impatient waiting for the next session and start without me', not 'If I die, I never want you to look at the game again. We'd find some way to work it into the story, and probably every session we'd get a little teary-eyed at something that our friend would have especially liked.

But that's how my friends and I are; everyone has to deal with this kind of thing the way it makes sense for them. But I'm sorry that you have to go through this at all.

Ditto. Do what you feel is appropriate. Either way, it's just a game. If this has taken the fun out of it, then stop playing. Maybe just a "let's see how we feel in a month" would be called for, rather than making an emotional decision.

Myself, I think I'd keep playing. But, you should do what you think is right and respectful.

 

[punkorange]

First let me say: I deeply regret your loss, life would be much easier if we didn't have to deal with such loss. That being said, I can relate:

My closest friend, and one of the members of my gaming group who was always there, even if it was just the two of us, passed away a few years ago.

If we had of been running a campaign at the time, and he made such a request before it happened, it would have either ended the campaign, or continued it in his honor. Since he died, we have talked about putting together a campaign in his honor but haven't gotten around to doing it yet. If I'm going to run a game in his honor it can't be just any off my head game, it has to be worthy of his memory.

 

[WayneLigon]

I would probably set up an empty chair and play on, with someone you think will do justice to the character filling in for your friend.

Earlier this year, my oldest friend died of a massive heart attack. He had been in virtually every group I'd been in since I started gaming, and we still use some of his characters as NPC's and some of the situations he created as campaign background whenever we can, as a way of remembering him and honoring his memory. We all met at our favorite eating place and spent hours telling stories about him, holding our own 'gamer wake' after his burial.

 

[Agamemnon]

Personally, I couldn't keep playing D&D at all after something like that. I'd have to take a break of at least several years, maybe indefinitely.